Caught in a Thousand Strings
by Thai Tea Addict
Summary: Sai wakes up to find everything he'd gone through to be a dream; he is a professional Go player that has already conquered the top players. Longing for what he had in his dreams, Sai seeks out his student - only Shindou Hikaru isn't exactly what Sai had expected him to be. Hikaru hadn't been expecting a naïve Go pro to be crashing into his life either. AUish
1. Fate's Draw

**A/N**: This story was inspired by the Hikaru-wakes-up-to-find-everything-to-be-a-dream plot. XD I love those, so I figured I'd twist it to suit me. Thus, Sai gets to be the one that wakes up~!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Hikaru no Go.

**Pairings**: AkiHika, but _extremely_ slow-building. And almost positive on OgataSai as well.

**Warnings**: _This fic will be **DARK**. _

If you're at all uncomfortable reading about anything involving the following, please desist and leave.

Expected to contain, _implied_ or _explicitly-shown_: BL (Boys Love), child prostitution, child abuse, child neglect, statutory rape, drug and alcohol use. There will also be OCs, but they are background characters used to advance the plot.

* * *

**Chapter One**

_Fate's Draw_

* * *

Fujiwara Sai woke up.

Panting, he tried to overcome his disorientation as his eyes adjusted to the light. He couldn't move his body; his limbs felt heavy and exhaustion weighed him down. Oxygen shuddered down his throat with the help of a mask hooked up to a gas tank, clean and fresh and sterile.

Sai woke up in a hospital - which was strange, because he had about two and a half years worth of memories saying he went under as a ghost.

"Fujiwara-san? Can you hear me?"

A man's face swam into view. Aged and wrinkled, but the eyes were alert and concerned as they peered back at Sai. Sai did not recognize him, however; a stranger was bent over him, one hand delicately holding his thin wrist and speaking to him gently.

"Fujiwara-san, blink twice if you can understand me."

Dutifully, Sai blinked twice. _Doctor_, Sai recognized. He was in a hospital, this man was a doctor - but the question was why. Why was he in a hospital and why did he have these- memories? Dreams? of being a Heian-aged ghost that haunted a young boy?

_Hikaru!_

Sai's eyes widened as he tried to lurch up, but he wasn't able to do much more then shakily flop forward. The doctor caught him and settled him back down in alarm. "Fujiwara-san, calm yourself! You're in no shape to be moving quite yet!"

Sai tried to explain himself to the doctor - _where was Hikaru?_ - but no sound came from his throat. Instead, it felt raw and dry, croaking with disuse so that it brought tears to Sai's eyes. His expression was noticed by the older man but interpreted differently, "You've been in a coma for the past two weeks, Fujiwara-san. Please calm yourself!"

Sai stopped flailing to let that statement sink in. He had been in a coma...for two weeks? So him being a ghost, teaching _the_ Honinbou Shuusaku, _Shindou Hikaru himself_ - all of it was a dream?

_Hikaru wasn't real?_

Some part of Sai knew this. He was not the ghostly hand of Honinbou Shuusaku - he was a devout fan of the Go legend, having studied the man's plays obsessively. He was Fujiwara Sai, a 26-year-old Go professional that had already claimed the title of Meijin and fought to keep it from his rival, Touya Kouyo. He was the only child of a rich businessman who regularly sent him money in place of love, the son of a woman that had taken her own life when Sai had graduated junior high school. A cheerful, somewhat childish man that smiled as bright as the sun and dominated the goban with such an intensity that left his opponents shaking.

And Shindou Hikaru was a figment of his imagination.

* * *

_"You were involved in a car accident."_

Physical therapy had been exhausting. Sai had to down supplement after supplement to replenish the muscles that had atrophied. Luckily, two weeks wasn't long enough to cause any severe damage, but long bouts of walking still exhausted him. His father had offered to call him a driving service, but Sai declined and opted to call a friend of his.

_"The driver fell asleep at the wheel and ran a red light. The collision threw you several meters, and you cracked your skull when you landed on the pavement."_

Ogata Seiji looked as relieved as much as the professional could, not even making one complaint or snide comment at Sai's disheveled appearance. The car ride back to Sai's upscale apartment was quiet, but it was a comforting one. Sai felt like he had many things to think over.

_"We sealed the fracture back up, but you didn't wake up even after we'd lifted the drugs. Just a few days ago, however, you started showing signs of consciousness."_

Ogata helped him through the door. With the man's close proximity, the difference between their builds was more apparent. While Sai had always been slender, at this time he just looked emaciated; his bones were easily defined under his skin. Just looking at his thin arms made Sai sick.

Ogata glanced over at him, shutting the front door and pulling off his shoes. "Are you going to be okay? I'm sure we can find some decent help for you. Akira's been practically salivating at the chance to see you since we heard you woke up."

Sai chuckled, "I'm sure he's much too occupied to babysit me. It's his first year in junior high, isn't it?"

"He spends more time studying kifu than his schoolwork," Ogata said, moving into the kitchen. The apartment was bland, devoid of decoration and looking as if it had been abandoned. Unsurprising, given Sai's two-week absence - but the feeling of loneliness was new. The apartment lacked a life Sai hadn't realized it needed before.

"While in that coma," Sai began softly, sinking down onto the couch as Ogata made himself at home. "I had a strange dream."

"Yeah?" Ogata muttered distractedly, opening cabinet doors in search of tea.

"I was a ghost, and I came to...follow this boy," Sai continued. "He wasn't interested in Go at the beginning - but that changed. And he was so gifted, Seiji; he learned quickly, his memory was astounding, and he made the most surprising moves. I was honored to be the one to teach him."

Ogata poked his head out of the kitchenette after setting the teal to boil, raising his eyebrow at the other man. "Perhaps it was your subconscious telling you to finally pick up a student? You only have the entire Go Association pawing after you, you know."

Sai gave the man a weak smile, "Those who do not cringe before me are few and far between."

Ogata grunted in acknowledgement. Sai was the youngest Meijin to date, his natural talent and ability to evolve his skills unprecedented. Those who rose before him fell before his might, those who came after him could only watch in awe from afar. Sai was a force of nature that the Go world had been unprepared for, and now at the apex, Sai found himself trapped in a difficult spot. The only person that had ever been able to put up a decent fight had been the previous Meijin, Touya Kouyo - but even now Sai had begun to pass him. His strength on the goban frightened those who played him, and Sai could not teach a student too scared to even try and fight back.

_Hikaru would not cower._

The thought came unbidden and was so startling that Sai flinched back. The certainty, the longing that had flashed through his mind; it left his body paralyzed. The image of that boy - young man, when Sai had left him - was so vivid in his mind that Sai could practically see him. Ridiculous bangs dyed a gaudy shade of blonde, hazel eyes wide and mischievous, his lips stretched into a grin that seemed to dominate his entire face.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

Ogata's voice broke Sai out of his trance. Blinking the image out of his mind's eye, Sai stared back at the proffered cup of tea. Amused, he took it from his friend with a small thanks. Ogata didn't comment further, though he did eye Sai oddly even as he took a seat next to him on the couch.

Sai had entered the professional Go world a few years after Ogata, but they only really ever talked when Sai became the "rival" of Ogata's teacher, Touya Kouyo. Unlike many others at the Institute, though, Ogata was not frightened by strength - but drawn to it. He hounded Sai at the Institute whenever he was there, and Sai was not averse to company; they struck up an odd sort of friendship that had both nothing and everything to do with their profession.

"So was this imaginary student of your's as solemn as Akira?" Ogata asked, interrupting the amiable silence.

The very idea of a solemn Hikaru made Sai giggle. "Not at all. He was very...vibrant. So much energy sometimes that half the time I was teaching him just to sit still for longer than 30 minutes," Sai mused warmly. "He had to be doing something, provoking someone - the boy didn't have one ounce of respect, I swear! - and we spent as much time screaming at each other as we did playing Go."

"Your 'ideal student' sounds like a pain," Ogata pointed out.

Sai smiled sadly to himself, "He was perfect."

* * *

Sai's return to the Go Institute was met with a mix of cheer and trepidation. For the short time he had been absent, those who fell to his might or felt they could never catch up believed they were given a respite. While he always had those opponents and acquaintances who were glad to see him back, there would always be those who were less than happy with his presence.

Sai hadn't let it bother him. He had contented himself with playing the game he loved, studying the game he loved, socializing with the few who could look at him as a person and not as a stepping stone. Now, however, the loneliness crushed down on him like an insurmountable weight.

He had not gone straight back to playing in matches; his health had not recovered far enough to allow his body to endure an hours-long match. He'd been granted a two-week leave to get back in shape, but after only a week in physical therapy, Sai began to feel out of place. He wasn't like the others in the center; his limbs were weak but they were there and unbroken, and he was not burdened with age or terrible diet.

Eventually, he opted out of physical therapy, instead preferring to take long walks and doing some light arm exercises. He could hold and place a stone without shaking now, but that still gave him two more free days to work with. Ogata came around almost every day - for a professional with a girlfriend, he sure had plenty of free time - but on this particular day he had a function to attend. This left Sai with no one but himself for company; even as an internationally-famous Go player, he hardly had any friends to speak of.

The apartment was going to drive him crazy. Sai was sure of it; the walls were devoid of any decoration, the entire flat void of sound, and the air felt stale. He fancied buying at least a houseplant, but didn't think he could invest in it emotionally enough to keep it alive.

He'd turned on every light to see if it could chase out the blandness, somehow, but it only seemed to illuminate everything he lacked. He didn't even have a TV - simply because he never watched it. There were some magazines on the table, all about Go, but for the most part the apartment looked as if nobody lived in it. Sai wondered if that was a bad sign.

_Even Seiji has fish,_ Sai mused. _Maybe I should get a pet?_

It'd probably die from Sai's inattentiveness within a week.

Sai dug through his closet, resigning himself to taking another aimless walk. He pulled his hair up into a ponytail; while he'd always kept it shoulder-length, now it was past his shoulder-blades. Before the accident, he had thought about getting it cut. Now, though, he wanted to grow it out - perhaps so he'd resemble the coma-version of himself? Sai couldn't quite place the reason why, just that he wanted that...connection.

Pulling on a pair of sweatpants and an otherwise bland shirt, he slipped on his jogging shoes and left his apartment. The air outside was crisp and fresh; even though the leaves were only just beginning to turn gold, the weather had a tendency to dip.

Sai enjoyed it, if only because autumn brought about the beautiful colors of warm gold and hazel. During his time with Hikaru, autumn almost seemed to bring out the boy's very spirit; a warm, enduring life that endured through the winter and would thrive in the spring. Autumn was like a promise, and Hikaru crunching through the dry leaves on the ground was proof of that promise.

Sai shook himself.

_I really need more to do,_ Sai mused self-deprecatingly. _Than obsessing over imaginary people._

And really, it was a sort of obsession Sai could not understand. In his dream, he'd been the teacher of _Honinbou Shuusaku_ - his _idol_. (To Sai's later horror; he couldn't believe his subconscious could be so egotistical!) But instead of thinking about a true Go genius, he found himself enthralled in the memory of a young boy who hadn't even liked Go at the beginning.

Of course, that had all changed eventually - and Hikaru had proven himself to be gifted. Sai remembered Hikaru's games well; the way Hikaru played was something that Sai couldn't even fathom. The boy's mind worked in exciting ways, and when he thought about some of Hikaru's better games, Sai couldn't help but feel pleased. He could see some of his own moves in the boy's style but he could see Hikaru's own natural talent mixed in: that surprising play that left Hikaru's opponents baffled, the way Hikaru could read far enough ahead to spring traps that left even his betters stunned.

Really, his imagination was so unfair. Now that he'd imagined such a student for himself, Hikaru was really the only student Sai wanted. Reality was cruel.

* * *

"I hate kids," Ogata muttered for the umpteenth time.

Sai smiled awkwardly, giving the offended mother who just swept by them an apologetic look as she shot them a glare. Ogata didn't even notice, as irritated as he was; he looked seconds away from lighting up a cig, public smoking ban be damned. It was hard to blame the man, though, as he seemed to attract all of the complaining parents who had an issue with their child losing this-or-that game.

Both pros had been assigned to help at a small function - a Go tournament for young players. Sai always found the sight of serious, young Go players to be wonderful, but it was a sentiment he really couldn't share with Ogata. His friend's mood was not easily improved, especially since his latest girlfriend had dumped him unceremoniously only two days before. To be honest, Sai was actually impressed Ogata had yet to wring anyone's neck.

"These are the well-behaved kids, you know," Sai reminded him cheerfully.

Ogata sneered, "I'm never having a kid."

Sai chuckled. Ogata perked up when he noticed a familiar figure moving towards them, his expression falling into amused tolerance as the youth came to a stop before them with a polite smile and bow.

"Ah, Akira-kun!" Sai greeted, smiling brightly. He really had quite a soft spot for the boy; his rival was raising a fine young man that Sai knew would be one of the best Go players in modern times. The coma-version of the boy really did hold true to Touya Akira's character.

"Ogata-san, Fujiwara-sensei," Akira greeted politely. "Father told me you would be supervising this event..."

"We were forced to," Ogata cut in boredly.

Sai leaned in close to the younger male, smile playful, his long hair sliding over one shoulder. "Don't mind him, Akira-kun; he hasn't been able to smoke for the last three hours and the withdrawal symptoms are starting to kick in."

Ogata scowled at him. Akira blinked, unsure on how to respond politely; his indecisiveness made Sai smile. The boy really was too poised for his own good, and while that was a gift while playing Go, it left him awkward and stilted in situations outside of the game. In the dream-verse, Hikaru had been quite the blessing; he'd ignited a passion in Akira that Sai had yet to see in real life.

Sai would never doubt Akira's love for the game. It was obvious the boy loved it with all his heart and soul - but Go was a two-player game, and if Akira continued on as he was, that love would become stagnant and only pull the youth apart at the seams. Sai could predict this easily, since it was happening to him for a different reason.

"Are you doing well, Fujiwara-sensei?" Akira asked.

Sai nodded good-naturedly, "The doctors cleared me and I've already resumed matches. I was actually going to visit your father this Sunday; we haven't played in quite a while."

Akira visibly brightened, "Were you going to join Father's study group?"

Sai shook his head, smile dimming somewhat. "No - I just promised him a game as soon as I recovered."

The idea of joining a study group made Sai cringe inwardly. After being declined admission into the insei program on the basis of being _too good_, Sai had suffered quite the emotional blow when it came to dealing with people. By the time he'd gained momentum in the Go world, his fellow players felt no need to invite such a strong player to their study groups. Of course, Touya Kouyo had been the exception - but at that point, their rivalry was well-known and most members of the former Meijin's study group regarded him more as an unstoppable opponent rather than a fellow player. (Of course, the Meijin, Ogata, and Ashiwara were the exceptions; Kouyo saw Sai as his equal, Ogata saw him as the closest thing to a friend he had, and Ashiwara was just _Ashiwara_.) Sai had declined Kouyo's invitations, which only seemed to make the barrier between him and other people that much bigger.

"What are you even doing here?" Ogata asked the boy.

"Father dropped by to see how things were going," Akira answered. "The manager accosted him as soon as he set foot in the building, though."

"He's probably complaining about you, Seiji," Sai giggled.

Ogata huffed, "Then maybe he should stop requesting me, the little shit."

"_Language_, Seiji! There are _children present!_" Sai squeaked, slapping his hands over Akira's ears. Akira looked ready to argue that - he was thirteen now! - but thought better of it and just frowned instead.

Ogata rolled his eyes. The man caught sight of another disgruntled parent approaching them, and smoothly veered away from the two males to intercept the mother. He knew very well why he'd been tapped to attend the event; while Sai was himself enough of a draw, being the top player in the Go world, he was terrible at dealing with people outside of the goban. Event organizers came to realize if they wanted high attendance courtesy of Sai, they'd have to take him in a package deal with Ogata Seiji - the one capable of keeping the crowds organized and civil.

"Are you enjoying your first year of junior high, Akira-kun?" Sai asked.

A brief expression of strain crossed the boy's features, but he nodded nonetheless. It occurred to Sai that in the dream-verse, the boy had been bullied. Was it also true of the reality?

_Or perhaps I am relying too much on my dream_, Sai thought privately. _This really isn't healthy._

An idea occurred to Sai then. He was reluctant to ask, at first - this obsession was demented. But he was curious...

"Kaio is well-known for their Go club. Did you happen to see them at any of the tournaments?" Sai asked as casually as he could.

Akira nodded again, "When I was being shown around, they were hosting the school tournament. They were quite skilled."

He didn't sound very impressed, though. Sai felt a pang of pity for the boy; just like himself, Sai knew Akira would never get to join the insei program or anything similar. Much like Sai, Akira would probably grow up with an intense love for the game and nothing outside of it.

"Who did they face in the final round?" _Was it Haze? _Sai stopped himself from asking that particular question, but the eagerness was practically audible. Akira cast him a questioning look, looking befuddled. Sai couldn't blame him - why would the current Meijin be interested in a junior high tournament? Sai certainly wasn't going to explain that his coma-induced dream had brought about a host of new fixations.

"Midoriyama, if I remember correctly," Akira answered. "Although Kaio won all three boards."

Sai tried not to look too disappointed. Judging by Akira's bemused expression, he'd probably failed.

* * *

"I wish Akira-kun had a rival," Sai stated quietly.

Touya Kouyo glanced over at the younger man, face studiously blank but to those that knew the man well, he seemed taken aback. Considering Sai had said this while they had been sharing a quiet cup of tea, Kouyo could not be faulted his surprise.

They'd finished their match two hours previous, finished discussing the game only thirty minutes prior, and just when Akiko had given the current Meijin a steaming cup of green tea, Sai broke the amiable silence with his statement.

Kouyo nodded, though he really didn't see where Sai was going with this conversation. "Akira would thrive if he had someone to compete with."

Compete with. Kouyo often worried about his son for this reason; all of Akira's peers were so below the boy's skill that Akira had given up looking. Everyone older was viewed as a stepping stone, someone to learn from - but not someone to compete with. Kouyo knew that listlessness well; he'd been trudging through the days until Sai had appeared.

Sai took a sip from his tea, eyes calculating. "I...I am thinking about taking a student."

A student. Kouyo didn't let his interest become too obvious, but he was definitely intrigued. Sai had never taken anyone under his wing and hadn't look inclined to doing so anytime soon. Then again, after the accident, Sai had changed. It was subtle, but it was there; as if the man was waiting for something.

If Sai could groom a rival for Akira, Kouyo didn't think he'd ever be able to thank the man enough.

* * *

Sai wanted a student.

He'd gone through the possibilities. He needed someone who wasn't a pro yet - a pro, no matter how low the _dan_-level, was still too set in their style. Sai needed someone who could still be molded, whose style was still fluid, who would take advice without becoming indignant. That, of course, eliminated a good portion of people.

He'd raked over the name of the insei. He'd been startled to find quite a few familiar names - Isumi, Waya, Fukui, Nase. The sight had nearly caused his heart to stutter, and more often now, he began to question the truth of his dreams. While the pros who had been in his dreams he had all met beforehand, the insei were people he had never met. How could they exist outside of the dream-verse?

Why wasn't Hikaru real?

Sai kept thinking about the boy. He'd had to convince himself, many times, not go scouting around Haze or hover around what had been the Shindou home in his dream. The hope that Hikaru was real, however, continued to tease at his mind - especially at the sight of the insei names he both knew and didn't.

He'd gone to the insei institution - and _wow_, that had caused quite a spectacle. It was like the insei didn't know whether they should flock to him or be awed at a distance. The teacher had decided for them by chasing them all back to their boards and ordering them to play games. Sai had wandered around just watching them play for awhile; some were talented, some were not, some fell somewhere in between.

He'd paused over Waya's game and tried not to look at the boy; he really was just as his dream had depicted. He seemed as star-struck as Sai imagined he'd be, however - which wouldn't be very good in a prospective student.

Fukui and Nase seemed to stumble whenever he passed them by, so Sai did not linger near them. The other students would get distracted by his presence, so much so that Sai began to feel guilty for even coming.

Isumi had more promise, and Sai could see himself helping the youth with his confidence - but knew that in the end, he'd inevitably end up comparing the youth to an imaginary boy with two-toned hair.

Sai left after apologizing to the teacher, feeling much less hopeful than he had been when he'd first started. Even if his prospective student wouldn't be Hikaru - _why couldn't he let him go?!_- that didn't mean there wasn't any talent left in the Go world that Sai could harvest.

_Perhaps I am setting the bar too high? _Sai mused, tugging his scarf into a tighter hold. It was cold enough now that he could see his own breath in the air, and though the weather reports had said nothing about rain or snow, the sky looked overcast enough that Sai wondered if he should have brought an umbrella.

Sai couldn't see how he his criteria for a student was so hard to fill, though. He wasn't asking for Shuusaku, or even Akira-level skill; he just wanted a student that could keep up with his teachings, who could grow defiantly from defeat, who could challenge his equals and his betters with the same spirit that Sai felt most players lacked nowadays.

Sai knew what he was really looking for, though, and he hated himself all the more for it.

_I'm letting go_, Sai vowed to himself. It had gotten ridiculous now; it's been almost three months since he'd awoken from that coma. He was letting a dream dominate his life now, and he was coming off the worse for wear because of it.

Tomorrow, he'd check out Kaio's Go club. Go club members were obviously interested enough in the game to pursue it, but malleable enough that Sai shouldn't have to worry about their resistance to his teachings. He'd just have to grit his teeth and bear it if his prospective student feared his strength, and eventually train it out of them. He'd done it for the boy in his dream, so surely he could do it in real life.

"_Dammit_, Masaki - he was totally going to bite. You ruin fucking _everything_."

Sai stopped abruptly. Eyes wide, something as simple as breathing suddenly became difficult. He didn't take a single step, didn't even move - too scared that he wouldn't be able to hear. The voice was too familiar yet completely foreign. The tone - irritated and exasperated, edging close to anger but not quite there - was something Sai had heard before.

"Stop bitching, Itsuka. He looked like the type who would stop halfway and not pay. You still haven't learned how to pick them?"

"Are you kidding me? He had a fucking Rolex on. I was going to take that chance."

The other voice was unfamiliar, but the first one - he knew it. He knew it as well as he knew himself, from a place where he'd drowned in the embrace of the reeds.

Slowly, Sai turned - too scared to hope but hoping nonetheless.

"Itsuka," one boy muttered - his hair was dyed completely blond and cut into a fashionable style. He looked a bit older than Isumi, but the way he held himself was completely different from the insei. The boy smiled at Sai after he'd noticed the man's gaze, and everything from the posture to the little grin looked utterly sultry. He tipped his head in Sai's direction at the younger boy's confused look.

Blond bangs, defiant of the rest of the naturally black hair, hung in front of stormy hazel eyes. Lips twisted into a small scowl, the owner glaring over at his companion. Tight jeans, a clean white jacket that fell to just above his knees, tanned skin - all of it was familiar.

All of it was wrong.

Shindou Hikaru met Sai's eyes.

Sai didn't know whether he should scream in horror or cry in happiness. The boy he'd dreamed about was real - very real, very alive, and very much authentic. His body seemed to remember he needed oxygen to live and breath was drawn, but the shock had settled over him so completely that Sai didn't notice.

Hikaru was _real_.

The boy was alive, and out of the millions that lived in Japan, Sai had run across him. In his dreams, it had been fate that drew them together - so surely it had to be fate now. Just as Sai had vowed to give him up, Hikaru had appeared - in the flesh and with eyes on Sai. _Just as they should be._

The young boy looked him up and down. His eyes lingered on Sai's tailored suit; Sai figured he probably looked ridiculous. No matter how personally tailored the suits were, they always looked odd on him. His nails were cleanly-cut - the better to hold Go stones - and hazel eyes blinked in mild surprise at Sai's earrings. They were a new addition - which had Ogata nearly coughing up a lung in surprise when he saw them. Sai had gotten them after he'd awoken; a pair of sapphire studs that matched his hair and eyes.

Whatever Hikaru had been looking for, he apparently was satisfied by what he saw. The other youth seemed to melt into the background as Hikaru headed in Sai's direction, fading completely into the crowd as Hikaru drew closer and closer to the man who hadn't stopped gaping at him.

"Hey, mister," Hikaru greeted - the way he said it was completely wrong. Soft and sweet, like the fake smile that curled those lips. He ambled over to Sai, smooth with a grace that dream-Hikaru did not have, especially at thirteen. "Did you want some company?"

It didn't occur to Sai that he was being propositioned until Hikaru laid a hand on his arm.

* * *

Shindou Hikaru was surviving life without actually _living _it.

Up until he was nine, his life had been just like any other kid his age; he went to school, he studied, he hung out with some friends that he'd easily forget as he progressed in life, and he stayed out of his parents' way. When his parents filed for divorce and his father had given full custody of Hikaru to his mother before fading out of his son's life completely, Hikaru had been hurt but he was forced to accept it as the natural course of life.

When his mother brought home her first boyfriend, Hikaru had not cared enough to get to know the man. When that man gambled away a good chunk of the settlement money from his mom's divorce, they'd been forced to leave the house Hikaru had grown up in and move into a small apartment with thin walls.

When his mother brought home her second boyfriend, Hikaru had been in his last year of elementary school. The apartment always smelled like booze and smokes, so Hikaru had learned to kill time outside. He used the money his mom gave him for lunch to fund his entertainment, then would sneak back home late at night to avoid seeing anyone.

When his mom's second boyfriend drank too much one night, he fell down the apartment stairs as he tried to storm out in an alcohol-fuelled rage and snapped his neck. Hikaru had to be the one to call the police that night, because his mother had been too busy drunkenly laughing. The cops never bothered to ask him if he felt safe with his mom - just as well, though, as Hikaru would lie to them anyway.

When Hikaru had graduated and gotten into Haze Junior High, his mother found a third boyfriend. She stopped giving Hikaru any money, even for food, so Hikaru began to pawn off things he found either at home or anything he discovered on the streets. One night, as he carried back to the apartment a purse he'd lifted from some girl who had been distracted making out with her boyfriend in the park, he ran into the high school girl who lived two doors down from him.

Arikawa Satomi wouldn't have noticed him, except that he'd been carrying around a Gucci handbag. She bought it for the half the price he could have sold it for, and then out of guilt for swindling a child more pitiful than her, she offered him a contact that could get him a job.

At twelve years old, Hikaru met Ohno Masaki. The other boy was five years older than him, with a dark look to his eyes and cruelty to his smile that Hikaru registered as dangerous. They'd met late at night in Shinjuku, under the sweltering heat of summer on the fourth day of June. Masaki had looked him up and down with a crooked smile, then asked him if he knew what kind of job he'd asked for.

Hikaru paused, thought about it briefly, then nodded. "How much is the pay?" was the only question Hikaru asked.

"This time, 60 thousand yen," Masaki answered. He turned and began to head off down the sidewalk, Hikaru trailing behind him. "After that it will be lower, but finding some more clientele shouldn't be a problem. How many were you planning on taking up?"

"It depends on the numbers," Hikaru answered. He should be able to afford food with this payment and not have to go to the extra effort of scavenging for things to pawn off. But he also wanted enough for some new clothes, as he'd hit another growth spurt and most of his outfits were too small now. There was this new handheld game system he wanted that one of the boys in his class had been boasting about, and he was thinking of dying his hair. "Probably at least five."

Masaki whistled. Somehow, he managed to make it sound condescending. "That might be a bit much for you, kid. I guess we'll see after the first."

Once they'd turned down another set of unfamiliar streets and the crowds had mostly thinned out, Masaki glanced back at him. "Aren't you curious about the first pick?"

Hikaru met his gaze evenly, managing not to look as terrified as he really felt. "Are you going to tell me?"

Masaki threw back his head and laughed raucously. "You're a weird kid. You got a name, brat?"

"Shi-"

"Not your real name, idiot," Masaki cut in. "You need a...nickname. Any ideas?"

Hikaru thought about it. "What time is it?"

Masaki blinked, taken aback. At Hikaru's serious look, he checked his wristwatch, "Almost 11:40."

"Might as well commemorate my first job," Hikaru mused. "I'm Itsuka(1)."

Masaki very nearly stumbled. Then, the teen let out one loud peal of laughter. Stifling his chuckles, the teen turned down another street. The crowds had all but disappeared, and on both sides of this unfamiliar road stood one small motel after another.

"Alright then, Itsuka," Masaki managed out between snickers. "The guy's name is Saotome. He's your common salaryman, but he paid good money to be the first. Mimi had you put down under 'Vanilla' so it should run pretty standard."

Hikaru tried not to snort at the mention of 'Mimi'. Is that what Satomi was going by?

"As the middleman, I get 20 percent of the cut. After that, if you meet someone outside my contacts, the money is all your's. Inside, it's the same rate," the teen continued.

Masaki stepped through the entrance of one of the motels. Hikaru hadn't caught the name, but the tacky decor and miserable appearance was pretty much identical to every other motel in the area. The teen waved at the pudgy man sitting at the front desk but didn't bother stopping; the man didn't seem to care, eyes flicking over the two boys before dismissing them.

"It's a three hour max. I'll be outside the door timing it," Masaki droned on. The tone was disaffected, as if he'd given this same speech before. He probably had, Hikaru mused. "There's no time-outs or stopping. Once you're in that room, you remain there for the next three hours. If you try to come out early, I'll toss your ass back in."

Masaki stopped in front of the room marked '106'. He turned away and faced Hikaru fully, giving the child a smile full of teeth. "Feel free to scream as much as you want, though. No one will mind."

Hikar considered his surroundings. _Too late to back out now_, he thought. By the way Masaki was smiling at him, backing out didn't even seem to be an option. Taking his silence as acquiescence, Masaki knocked twice on the door before opening it, pushing Hikaru inside and following behind him.

"Ah, Masaki-kun," an older man greeted. He was unremarkable in all aspects; average height, average weight, with thin black hair and a bald spot in the back. His eyes were narrow and he had that sort of beleaguered, nervous air to him that reminded Hikaru of the businessmen he found sleeping on park benches.

"Saotome-san," Masaki greeted cordially. The air about the teen was casual, no matter how falsely-polite he spoke. It was obvious the younger male was in control of this entire meeting; Saotome looked like he'd start simpering any minute now. "This is Itsuka. Say hello, Itsuka-kun."

"Hello," Hikaru greeted softly. He wondered if he was supposed to act differently, but Masaki hadn't given him any Looks and Saotome was obviously entranced by the child. Hikaru tried not to feel sick - and was failing.

"Hello, Itsuka-kun," Saotome echoed with a wide smile.

"The payment, Saotome-san," Masaki reminded briskly, stepping in front of Hikaru. This helped to hide the brief flash of disgust that crossed the child's face. Saotome nodded with a nervous laugh, opening up his briefcase and pulling out a bulky yellow envelope. Masaki opened it and pulled out the cash, counting it with a professional's air. Once every note had been accounted for, he gave Saotome a smile and nodded.

"Three hours," Masaki chimed as he left. "I'll knock when the time's up."

The door closed behind the boy. Saotome looked at Hikaru with a sick parody of a smile, taking the child's hand and leading him further into the room.

Hikaru thought fleetingly of his mother's second boyfriend, laying in a tangle of limbs at the base of the stairs, head twisted at an unnatural angle, his eyes wide and unseeing, mouth open in a silent scream.

Masaki was right - he did scream, and no one cared.

* * *

Three months later and still partly under Masaki's tutelage, Hikaru had a decent set of customers. He'd dropped Saotome after the first time, and waited for other contacts of Masaki's to bite at fresh meat.

His first regular was a piano teacher named Amekura. He often wore a sad smile on his lips and tried to be gentle, to Masaki's never-ending amusement. The teen pegged the man as suicidal and told Hikaru to sweeten up to him and he might even get a cut of the man's belongings after he kicked the bucket, since he'd never married or had children.

His second regular was Yamaguchi, who insisted that Hikaru call him "Kappichi." He was emotional and prone to bursting into tears at the slightest provocation. It made Hikaru nervous, but the man paid him and bought him whatever he wanted.

Hikaru found his third regular without Masaki's help. He was a salaryman that had been stumbling around drunk one night. The man lost whatever inhibition had been keeping him in check and propositioned Hikaru himself when the boy had stared at him too long in consideration. The morning after, he told Hikaru his name was Kousaka and given the boy the money and his phone number.

Hikaru himself was getting better at picking up who would be interested and who wouldn't. The idea of propositioning an undercover cop still made him nervous, but all of Masaki's contacts were thoroughly checked-out and Hikaru figured as long as he declined invitations from sober men over a certain age, his chances of getting caught were lowered significantly.

Testing positive for STDs was an ever-present thought, and Masaki forced all those under his wing to take a monthly test at a discrete clinic. So far, Hikaru remained clean, and he'd even studied STD symptoms as an extra security. Even though many STDs - especially the deadly ones - didn't have obvious signs, it was still better than just going in blind.

When scouting for new customers independently, Hikaru would situate himself in the Shinjuku area, closer to Kabuki-cho so that people knew he was there for business. Here, Hikaru people-watched; if someone's eyes lingered on him too long, that meant interest. To guarantee that interest would actually mean something, Hikaru would catch their gaze. If they didn't look away, that meant that he had a pretty good chance.

He'd picked up a few men here and there with that technique, but those always dwindled back to one or two-nights stands (that he was paid for, of course). It was good way to make money whenever one of his regulars weren't around to be used, but sometimes it could be exhausting.

Sometimes, Masaki would follow him and idle around. Hikaru couldn't tell if the teen was pleased with his progress or irritated by it. Sometimes the teen would chase off prospective customers, other times he would clue the boy in to someone he had missed. In his own way, Masaki probably favored him - but that didn't stop him from being an utter bastard.

Just as Masaki chased away his second prospective customer of the night - _"He had a fucking Rolex!"_ - and thoroughly irritated Hikaru, the teen motioned to someone Hikaru had only caught out of the corner of his eye.

The man was tall and lithe, skin pale as a porcelain doll's and framed by a mane of silky hair so dark it shined purple in the streetlights. He had on a gray overcoat left open over a finely-tailed suit of cream-color, with a plain silver scarf wrapped about his neck. A sapphire stud earring was pierced in each ear, somehow complimenting the man's tidy, beautiful appearance.

And he was staring right at Hikaru.

The man was openly ogling him. No one else seemed to notice, though, even as Hikaru moved forward and Masaki made himself scarce. His greetings seemed to fall on deaf ears, so Hikaru was surprised when the man jumped after Hikaru lightly touched the his arm.

"Are you alright, mister?" Hikaru asked, trying for sweet. He didn't really think he was any good at it, but usually the customers never noticed. Or maybe they just didn't care - Hikaru was never sure. "Are you cold?"

The man blinked, mouth opening and closing but no sound coming out. When the man's face began to redden in a vibrant blush, Hikaru started to worry; that wasn't the usual reaction. Had he - and Masaki - judged wrong?

_Please don't cause a scene_, Hikaru begged mentally. He withdrew his hand, taking a hasty step back with a nervous smile. "Sorry - just worried, you know? You looked like you'd seen a ghost!"

The man seemed to choke on air.

"Anyway, I'll be going-"

"W-Wait!"

The man latched onto Hikaru's arm just as the boy turned around to leave. Hikaru didn't try to wrestle it free, stopping and turning back to the man with what he hoped was a normal smile. It kind of just felt like he was pulling his cheeks into an awkward position.

The man didn't seem to notice, staring intently at his face. After one full minute of this one-sided staring contest, Hikaru wondered if he should start worrying. "Um, mister...?"

The man continued staring at him for a moment, before seeming to come to some kind of decision. "I'm sorry, you just - you just surprised me, is all."

Hikaru nodded dumbly.

The man struggled with something internally, but forged on. "A-Are you free now? I would like some company."

_Ah_ - so they had been right. This was the first looker Hikaru had scored, too. He supposed pedophiles really came in all shapes and sizes. "Yeah, sure! I think we should find somewhere warm to go, though; you're looking a bit chilled."

The man nodded jerkily. Hikaru wondered if this would be the man's first time with someone like him. That made things both easier and harder; the first timers were easy to manipulate but harder to ditch. They had a tendency to latch onto their first experience that had caused Hikaru some grief once or twice before.

"I know this place near here," Hikaru offered. "They have good rates."

The man shook his head. "I'd prefer to go back to my apartment, if you don't mind."

How polite - that was new. And weird. Hikaru shrugged in acceptance. It wouldn't be the first time he'd go to a customer's place, and while that came with its own risks, he often came off with a better reward.

"What's your name?" Hikaru asked, trying to sound cheerful. "I'm Itsuka."

The man gave him a confused look, but Hikaru couldn't fathom why. "...I'm Sai. You don't have a last name, I-Itsuka-kun?"

Hikaru stared at him evenly, "I don't."

Sai seemed to shrink in on himself. For just a moment, Hikaru irrationally began to feel bad.

"Oh, I see," Sai murmured. He was sitting stiffly next to the boy on the subway, giving him the occasional glance as if trying to puzzle him out. Hikaru didn't think he was complicated enough to warrant that kind of look. He was a kid that sold himself for money, and all of the adults in his life had failed him - that pretty much summed him up. It was a story that matched almost all of his 'coworkers'.

"Your parents don't mind you staying out this late, I-Itsuka-kun?" Sai asked.

Hikaru didn't even blink as he answered, "They don't care."

He couldn't help but smirk at the man's disconcerted expression.

* * *

The apartment was unsurprisingly upscale. At this hour, there was no one around to see Hikaru shuffle into Sai's apartment. The boy glanced around, frowning at the empty space; for someone who could afford such fine clothes and a nice apartment, there was barely anything in the flat.

Hikaru sincerely hoped he hadn't gotten snatched by a faker. He'd heard stories about those people that pretended to be wealthy, wearing all of the hot brands and strutting around as if they owned the place, only to really spend every last bit of their paycheck to keep up appearances while they starved.

"Nice place," Hikaru commented off-handedly. "You a minimalist?"

Sai gave him a strained smile, "I pretty much live at work. I suppose I never really considered this place my home."

_Workaholic, huh?_ Hikaru could work with that. Giving the man a cute smile - he'd practiced it in the mirror and it worked like magic on most of the men he used it on - Hikaru cocked his head.

"So where's your bedroom, Sai-san?" Hikaru asked.

Within the 45-minute journey to this place, Hikaru had a loose idea of the kind of man who had picked him up. Definitely someone unused to people like Hikaru. He was almost naive, in a sense, and socially-awkward to top it off. He used far too much polite language compared to the average guy. This kind of innocent-like man would be more ensnared by a sweet but bold type; seductive but not outright slutty. Hikaru had to tread carefully, making sure not to push the man too far - but not going so easy so that Sai wasn't impressed.

Sai gave him an inscrutable look. With a sigh, the man pulled of his scarf and jacket, hanging them up in the closet and holding out his hand in Hikaru's direction. When the boy just stared back at him in incomprehension, Sai smiled - it was small, but it was genuine. Hikaru found himself shocked to the core.

"Your jacket," Sai stated, light amusement in his tone.

Hikaru slid his off. He considered stripping off the rest of his clothes, but Sai had already turned around to hang up his jacket, then walked off in the direction of the kitchenette. "I'm afraid I only have tea. Will that be okay?"

"Sure," Hikaru agreed easily enough.

Sai wasn't the first man to offer him refreshments. For most, it tended to be alcohol - tea was different, but not altogether strange. Hikaru took a seat on the sofa, giving the apartment another wide, more thorough look. It was practically bare - there wasn't even a TV - just a couch and matching coffee table, and in the corner there was a _goban _with two closed _goke _on top, accompanied by plush red seat cushions.

"You play Go, Sai-san?" Hikaru called out. Something crashed in response, and Hikaru could hear the frantic, hurried movement of quick cleaning.

"Y-Yes. Do you play, I-Itsuka-kun?"

Why did the man always stutter over his name? "No, I never really learned."

Before his parents divorced, Hikaru used to go over to his grandparents' house often. His grandfather had tried to teach him Go, but wasn't able to teach him anything more than the lines of the board and some of the basic rules before getting fed up with him. Hikaru supposed giving up on him was an inherited trait in the Shindou line.

Sai came out of the kitchen with two steaming mugs. In the unpolluted light of the apartment, Sai's beauty was that much more apparent; he had the type of delicate beauty all of the current male models would scramble after.

_Pity to waste those looks on a pedophile_, Hikaru mused absently, taking his cup with a soft thanks.

Sai smiled at him but didn't sit down. The man took only a small sip from his own mug before setting it on the coffee table, then moving over to the _goban_. There was a small sidetable nearby where Sai pulled out a clean rag, then began to calmly - and with a sort of elegance Hikaru had never seen before - wipe the top of the _goban_ clean.

Hikaru took a few cautious sips of tea before setting his mug down. If they waited any longer, Hikaru would start to feel anxious. This was a business transaction, not a date.

"A night is 20 thousand," Hikaru said. Sai stopped cleaning immediately, his back to Hikaru stiff and utterly still. "No kinks, no toys. I only do vanilla."

Sai's silence was unnerving.

Hikaru continued in a no-nonsense tone, trying not to be affected, "Payment first and no checks."

"I see," Sai finally said, so softly that it actually felt dangerous. The man got up and walked down the hall and through a doorway. Just as Hikaru began to wonder if he should follow the man or just leave, Sai came back.

"I hadn't known I'd meet you tonight, so this is all the cash I have on me," Sai explained, handing the boy a small stack of bills. It was only about five thousand, so Sai handed the boy a Rolex watch as well - Hikaru could recognize the authenticity, thanks to lengthy lessons from Masaki. The Rolex alone was more than double what Hikaru had asked for.

He'd had a few men try to offer him more money in exchange for more variation in his servies, but Hikaru had declined every time. He'd seen the aftermath of some of those variations and he never wanted to ended up like those people. It'd be expected of him someday, Hikaru knew - once Masaki was sick of him sticking in Vanilla. Hikaru just hoped he could leave the lifestyle before Masaki forced him into it.

"Vanilla only," Hikaru reminded Sai.

Sai stared back at him, and suddenly Hikaru understood the stiff movements and strange looks the man had been expressing all night. Pain, pity, and pure anguish practically radiated from those dark eyes. It was such a startling epiphany that Hikaru actually froze in shock.

"I do not want to have sex with you," Sai stated. It was low, but it was sure as steel. Hikaru couldn't manage to say anything in response; it was as if his throat had closed up.

Sai moved over to the _goban_, taking a seat on one of the cushions with practiced ease. He was sitting in the formal _seiza_ style, looking tidy and comfortable in front of the board and eyes piercing straight into Hikaru.

"Please come over here," Sai ordered. It was not a request, no matter how the man worded it. "I will teach you how to play Go."

The idea was so ludicrous, Hikaru started laughing. Once he started, he found it hard to stop; he practically collapsed sideways, holding his sides with tears trying to stream down his face. Somewhere along the way, it had turned from hysterical to near-breakdown; Hikaru managed to restrain himself from from breaking into sobs in time.

This man paid him just under 80 thousand yen to teach him how to play an old man's game.

Sai was not laughing. He looked calm and expectant, sitting serenely and waiting for the boy to join him. Hikaru wiped the tears from his eyes, catching his breath as he lay sprawled over the couch. After a few minutes, the boy chuckled - it was a dark, jaded sound that didn't sound very cute at all. Sai didn't seem bothered by it, though.

"Alright then," Hikaru conceded. "It's your call. Whatever you want, Sai-san."

Hikaru took a seat on the other side of the goban, and set his destiny into motion.

* * *

**A/N**:

_Note 1_) "_Itsuka_" : how the fifth day of a month is called in Japanese. Hikaru's first "job" begins on the fifth day, so he chose that as his stage name.

_On Hikaru_: Let me flesh out Hikaru's character for a few more chapters. He's actually a lot more spunky like his canon self than shown here. I actually wanted him to make him more _enjo kousai-_like, but I needed him to be underage, so he became a child prostitute instead. _That part was heartbreaking to write_. Repercussions of this particular brand of abuse will be dealt with in-storyline.

_Questions, comments, concrit? Then please..._

_**Kindly drop a review.**_


	2. Spin the Thread

**A/N**: There's a pretty lengthy author's note at the end of the chapter. _Please read it~_

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Hikaru no Go.

**Pairings**: AkiHika, tentatively-decided OgataSai depending on story flow.

**Warnings**: This chapter is _**especially dark**_. Seriously, you guys - some very horrible things are implied and pretty much explicitly-stated to have happened. It will get better (soon), but for this chapter, prepare your hearts...

* * *

**Chapter Two**

_Spin the Thread_

* * *

Sai had forgotten how frustrating Hikaru could be. Even in the dreamverse, Hikaru had that special ability to vex anyone he met. After two years of constant companionship and Hikaru maturing, Sai had forgotten just how irritating it had been to get Hikaru to learn something he was never initially interested in.

"And if you can capture your opponent's stones in just one more move, it is called _atari_," Sai instructed, indicating to the empty adjacent spot on the board from where he had played an example. Hikaru was staring at the board, eyebrows furrowed, but Sai couldn't tell if that was because the boy was bored by being taught the game or perplexed by the man who sat across from him.

Sai had to remind himself to go slowly; he was to build Hikaru from the ground up. He couldn't even play a game with the boy - Hikaru knew none of the rules and only barely remembered how the lines of the board were counted. Sai knew he would have to go over the rules first, making sure Hikaru had a handle on them, then onto stone movements, capturing, styles... The basics first, then the skills.

"This is boring, Sai-san," Hikaru told the man frankly, after Sai had demonstrated capturing a stone. "I think I would actually prefer the sex now."

Sai glared at him over the goban, "Most certainly not, Itsuka-kun."

Hikaru gave a little sigh.

_Itsuka_, Sai had to remind himself. Hikaru had given him a fake name and he could not just call the boy by his real one - that would alarm him. Sai had known, of course, that "_Itsuka_" was a false name, a moniker worn by the boy while he was doing 'business'. Hikaru had not exactly hid the knowledge from him; refusing to give a surname and then choosing '_Fifth Day_'. Sai wondered what significance the fifth day of a month held for the boy, but he already had a vague idea and knew the truth would only sadden him.

Hikaru was a _child prostitute_. The knowledge made something unpleasant settle in Sai's heart, a dark anger that he had never felt before. What had gone wrong in this world for things to go this bad? The rest of Hikaru's generation seemed to be the same: Akira was still a lonely prodigy and the insei were still eager students. How had Hikaru ended up where Sai had found him?

_Is it my fault? _Sai wondered. He looked over at the boy; Hikaru's hazel eyes were on the goban, looking bored but attentive. His blond bangs nearly shadowed his eyes - perhaps he needed a haircut soon - and his skin was blemish-less and tanned from the sun. He was skinnier than the Hikaru in the dreamverse, waif-like but not alarmingly so. Still, Hikaru had been baby-faced and healthy in the dreamverse; the one sitting before Sai slouched with a tiredness Hikaru had never had.

"I think that's enough for tonight," Sai stated suddenly. Hikaru looked like he'd pass out at any minute, and according to the clock, it was already past midnight. Sai shouldn't have kept the boy up so late. Belatedly, he wondered if Hikaru had any homework he had to do; Hazechuu was one of the schools that still had classes on Saturday.

Hikaru was openly staring at him, "But it's only been two hours..."

"And you won't learn anything when you look like you're about to fall over from exhaustion," Sai told him with an amused smile. "You can sleep on the couch, Itsuka-kun. I'll bring you a pillow and some blankets."

Sai left the room before Hikaru could say anything else, striding into his bedroom and opening the closet door. He kept spare blankets just in case, especially seeing as Ogata had a tendency to crash at his place after a bad break-up. Sai was reluctant to let Hikaru just go on traipsing out the door; it was already very late, and according to the boy, his parents didn't care about his whereabouts. Who knew what Hikaru could get caught up in? At least if he slept over at Sai's, the Meijin knew where he was.

Returning to his living room, he found Hikaru standing and staring nervously at the _goban_, looking unsure of himself. Sai set the blankets and pillow down on the couch, glancing over at the boy with a thoughtful frown. "I might have something for you to wear to bed, but it might be a bit too big..."

"S'okay," Hikaru refuted, looking over the blankets with a blank expression. "I can sleep in this."

"You have school tomorrow, do you not?" Sai asked, eyes widening at the thought. The boy was clearly wearing street clothes, and didn't appear to be carrying his uniform on him. Sai originally planned on (attempting) to cook Hikaru breakfast, but he might have to wake the boy up earlier than he intended to get him to school on time.

The look Hikaru gave Sai could only be described as condescending. "Yeah, probably - but I'm not going."

"But how will you learn?" Sai fretted.

Hikaru shrugged, unconcerned as he started to make himself comfortable on the couch. "I don't go to Saturday classes often. The teacher just chides me a little to make himself feel better but lets it go."

Sai couldn't support this - but for tomorrow, it would be convenient. He resolved to lecture the boy at a later date about his poor school attendance. For tomorrow, though, he could see about making Hikaru breakfast...and continuing their go lessons.

* * *

Waking up the day after the strange man had picked him up, Hikaru found himself sat at a table - that was littered with Go magazines, so obviously the man was obsessed with the game - and served a badly-charred omelet and watery rice. Sai had looked crestfallen at the breakfast even as he served it, which pulled oddly at Hikaru's heartstrings for reasons the boy couldn't fathom. Just before the man could take it away (probably while sobbing; he already had tears gathering in his dark eyes), Hikaru ate it and stubbornly ignored Sai's platitudes. It wasn't that bad, honestly; the eggs were a bit too salty and the rice was more like gruel, but it was edible and likely better than anything Hikaru could make.

They exchanged phone numbers after the meal. Hikaru had bought himself a phone shortly after his third job; Yamaguchi had offered him one of the more expensive ones but Hikaru needed a phone for business and personal use, and didn't quite trust a client with footing the bills. He found a cheap phone where he paid a monthly rate using a prepaid card; he could make calls and texts, but anything else was still beyond the limits of what he could afford.

Hikaru only had six numbers programmed into the phone. Four were customers: Amekura, Yamaguchi, Kousaka, and now Sai. The last two were his connections, Masaki and Satomi. His mother probably had a phone, but neither of them cared enough about the other to know. Even after getting into Haze and attending for almost a year now, Hikaru had yet to make any friends; he was absent often and the days he did attend, no one paid him much mind. He ate alone during lunch, spent breaks thinking up ways to convince customers to buy him the things he wanted, and left as soon as classes ended. To his classmates, Shindou Hikaru was a shadow; barely perceptible in the periphery.

The boy took off shortly after Sai explained capturing stones and the concept of eyes in Go. Hikaru wanted to do other things today, so Sai let him go with a sad smile and promise that he'd call soon. It wasn't until Hikaru had reached his home that he realized he didn't even know what the man's job was.

Late Saturday night, Hikaru had a missed call from Sai. He was spending time with Amekura, though, and didn't bother calling Sai back; the piano teacher had taken him to Ikebukuro for dinner. Sunday morning, after leaving Amekura's place another 20 thousand yen richer, he had another call from Sai.

"Hi, it's Itsuka~!" Hikaru greeted into the phone in a cheerful voice, before remembering this was the customer who supposedly wasn't interested in sex.

_"I-Itsuka-kun!"_ Sai's voice floated from the phone, sounding a mix of relieved and frustrated. _"Where were you?"_

"Out," Hikaru answered noncommittally. His other customers usually knew better than to ask questions like that but Hikaru had already filed away Sai as a 'special' case. He just didn't observe any of the proper etiquette pertaining to businesses Hikaru was involved in.

A short pause, and Hikaru could almost hear Sai's mind working through that response. _"I see," _the man said. It was in that same tone he used on Hikaru when the boy had told him his price tag. Hikaru was disgruntled to find it still sent a cold shiver down his spine.

_"Are you free today? I would like to see you,"_Sai requested politely.

Hikaru thought about it. He'd originally intended on catching up on some of his homework assignments, seeing as neither Yamaguchi or Kousaka had called him up for company. Sai paid really well, though, even if he made Hikaru nervous with his unpredictability.

"Sure, when should I come over?" Hikaru agreed, keeping the cheer in his voice.

_"As soon as convenient for you,"_ Sai answered. _"Oh, and bring your homework. I'll help you."_

Sai hung up before Hikaru could respond. The boy was left staring at his phone, dumbfound.

* * *

To go back home - and narrowly avoid interacting with his mother, who had passed out on the couch - to pick up his homework, then get back to the subway to take him to Sai's part of town, then endure a short bus ride and longer walk, Hikaru had killed over an hour of time. He was grumpy - Sai had better reimburse him for all of that transportation money - but he forced a smile onto his lips as he knocked politely on the man's door.

Opening the door with a kind smile, Sai beckoned him inside. Hikaru shuffled in, and at Sai's urging, deposited his school materials on the table and followed the man into the kitchen. Something was boiling on the stove; the empty flavor packaging next to it labelled it as curry, the smell labelled it as the burnt remains of vegetables. Carrots, onions, and potatoes boiled from the golden mixture, the edges turned crisp from who-knows-what, and the curry sauce itself was more watery than thick.

"Dinner will be ready soon," Sai chirped cheerfully. "It's ready-made curry, so it shouldn't be too bad."

Hikaru choked down the urge to ask how the man managed to burn the vegetables while boiling them.

The curry was too watery and the spices were doing weird things to Hikaru's tongue, making it numb and tingle oddly whenever he took a sip of water. Sai was looking steadily more miserable with every bite, so Hikaru tried to look like he was enjoying it for the man's sake.

"Sorry," Sai apologized, cleaning up the plates. _I need to find more recipes! _the pro cried internally. At this rate, he'd probably end up giving Hikaru food poisoning before he could teach him anything.

Hikaru shrugged, "It tasted fine, Sai-san."

"You can just call me 'Sai', Itsuka-kun," Sai said, starting to clean the dishes. "Go ahead and start on your homework. I'll get your payment after I finish cleaning these."

Hikaru eyed him for a moment before nodding. To be honest, Hikaru had no idea what the man was playing at; he'd encountered men who liked to set the mood, but it didn't take them _days _to do so. Hikaru wondered if Sai was the type of man that liked to play pretend; perhaps he was hoping Hikaru would fall in love with him or something? Or maybe he used to have a kid around Hikaru's age that had passed away, and was living out some kind of fantasy using Hikaru?

_Too young_, Hikaru observed. Even if Sai had a kid, there's no way that kid would be Hikaru's age. Besides, the man was so easily flustered and innocent - probably a virgin, too. That left the first idea, the 'romantic-fantasy' one. That was nauseating, but as long as Sai kept paying him, Hikaru could play his part. He watched the man dry off his hands before heading towards his bedroom.

Hikaru looked over his homework assignments. He hadn't started on any of them but he wasn't too worried about it. His grades had always ranged around average, which was quite impressive given how often he skipped class. Hikaru had a sharp memory that made it easy to recall information, if he could motivate himself into studying it first. He usually went to the bookstore once a week to read through a study guide; he'd never buy it, of course, but he skimmed through it to try and lift some of the information. It was easier than trying to decipher his teachers' lectures and definitely a time-saver compared to doing homework.

Hikaru wasn't shy about using his customers, either. Both Yamaguchi and Kousaka had computers that made it easy to look up information, while Amekura was well-versed in literature and didn't mind answering any of Hikaru's idle questions. He never outright did any of his homework while with them, but he could apply the new information to his tests or assignments.

"So how much homework do you have?" Sai asked brightly, handing Hikaru a small stack of bills. The boy deftly counted it - 30 thousand yen altogether. He supposed Sai started withdrawing money to pay him in full instead of handing off his belongings.

Hikaru looked over his assignments, "Math, science, and I have a book report due Tuesday."

Sai nodded, taking the seat adjacent to him and glancing over his math homework. "So for the first problem, we have to find the _sine_, _cosine_, and _tangent_..."

* * *

Sai went back into the kitchen to fix them a cup of tea. In only three hours, Hikaru had completed both his math and science assignments; it'd taken the Hikaru in Sai's dreamverse most of the evening to do the same amount. Now, working on the book report - and unsure how the boy was managing to write a report while the source material wasn't present - Sai left Hikaru alone.

This Hikaru was both different and similar to the one Sai knew in the dreamverse. Both shared an unyielding quality, a fire to their eyes that Sai knew would endure countless struggles. Their keen memory was a shared trait, as evidenced by Hikaru's ability to easily recall the mathematical formulas needed to solve problems. Their biting tongues were similar - mocking and challenging, headstrong to a degree that sometimes made Sai wince as if he were the one committing the wrong.

The differences were just as stark. Where dreamverse-Hikaru had been loud and belligerent, this Hikaru was careful with his words and wary of any move Sai made. Where the first Hikaru had been warm and trusting, if a bit arrogant, the second was distrustful and any ounce of warmth was carefully-constructed out of lies stretched into a fake smile. The Hikaru that Sai had known was vibrant and full of energy; the new one was tired to the very marrow of his bones and could barely hide the bitterness in his eyes.

It occurred to Sai that he was being wildly unfair. He expected this boy to be just like the one in his dreams - but how could that possibly be so? The Hikaru in his dreams would never have gotten involved in prostitution, would never look out at the world as some place where only the clever survive. This Hikaru hadn't been so fortunate - he hadn't been allowed the luxury of dreaming.

The idea made Sai grit his teeth. Where were Hikaru's parents? Why wasn't his mother watching him like a hawk, fretting over his grades and his hobbies - like that mother-hen in the dreamverse? Where was his father, who only airily supported his son in whatever Hikaru chose but never laid a hand on his own child?

Why was Hikaru suffering?

Sai opened his fridge, glancing through the contents; there was barely anything. A half-gallon of milk - that he hadn't checked the expiration date of, and it's been in there for a suspiciously long while - a jar of minced garlic, a near-empty carton of eggs, and a few vegetables. The freezer proved to be just as sparse, with a mystery fish wrapped in paper and a few boxes of instant-mix dinner.

Feeding himself had never been problematic. Sai survived off whatever he could get at the convenience store if he was home, otherwise he would eat out at restaurants near the Go institute or get dragged off by Ogata. Trying to feed another person, however, was turning out to be quite troubling; Sai had discovered he was simply terrible at cooking and he certainly wasn't going to let Hikaru run rampant in his kitchen, even if the boy was somewhat more mature.

He'd have to make a grocery list for himself. He would need to pick up some snacks suitable for kids Hikaru's age; he doubted the boy would enjoy the same crackers that Sai was fond of, which was the only thing he had in surplus. _Soda and juice, perhaps I should buy fruit as well_, Sai mused in an internal inventory. He'd have to invest in a cooking class, or at the very least, a cookbook - he couldn't have Hikaru subsisting off of convenience store foods. He was a growing boy, thus he needed more nutrients than a store-packaged bentou could provide.

_I feel like a parent, _Sai thought suddenly. The idea made him freeze, hovering over the two cups of steaming hot tea he had just poured. In the dreamverse, he and Hikaru had been friends; Hikaru had been his student, yes, but he treated Sai as his equal in standing and was never one to leash his mouth. Sai had been just as frank and expressive, so he never found the boy discourteous. As a ghost, it hadn't mattered to Sai how Hikaru treated him as long as they could play Go.

This Hikaru, however, called him with a stiff _'-san' _and held a great distance between himself and Sai. He saw Sai as an adult, a figure of authority - a means of survival. Sai himself had even begun to treat this Hikaru differently; thinking of homework instead of teaching games, of Hikaru's health and well-being to a much higher degree than he had in the dreamverse.

Then again, this Hikaru seemed to a need it a whole lot more. The dreamverse Hikaru had been immature but had supportive family and friends to fall back on; this Hikaru needed protection and someone to rely on far more than he needed a fun friend he could learn Go from.

_This is the reality now_, Sai mused solemnly. _We do not have the luxury of developing a friendship. I have to mean something completely different to Hikaru here._

And first, he would have to earn Hikaru's trust. He needed the boy to tell him his real name.

"Sai-san, I'm done," Hikaru called out from the living room.

Sai pulled a smile onto his lips - not difficult; just hearing Hikaru's voice tended to make him happy - as he took the two mugs of tea into the other room. Hikaru was already picking up his schoolwork; all of the assignments had his name conspicuously absent, as the boy wouldn't label them until he was at school or home. Sai placed one mug in front of Hikaru, which the boy accepted with a small thanks. Sai re-took his adjacent seat, sipping from his own cup meditatively.

"We left off at learning eyes, didn't we?" Sai mused aloud. "That leaves the rule of Ko, then maybe we can start a learning game."

Hikaru was eyeing him over the steam, calculating and silent. Sai didn't let it bother him; patience would win this battle. He would not gain Hikaru's trust overnight, and likely not for a long while - at the very least, not until the boy started seeing him less as a customer and more as a mentor. Sai had to play his hand carefully in this stage; monopolizing Hikaru's time would make the boy nervous, but it also meant that Hikaru had less time to prostitute himself. Sai had used the price Hikaru had asked as his basis for comparing to others, and as long as he paid significantly more for Hikaru's time, the boy wouldn't stray from him.

"What kind of learning game?" Hikaru asked, small smirk on his face.

Sai shot him a very pointed look; Hikaru knew what kind of game, even if his tone suggested otherwise. "_Shidougo_; you're going to be slow at first, as you're just learning, but eventually you'll be able to place stones without much trouble. I need to teach you how to hold a stone correctly, too, come to think of it..."

Hikaru settled back into his seat, apparently satisfied by Sai's vocal confirmation that the relationship was maintaining perfectly wholesome and platonic. Sai's smile grew slightly, but he hid it behind another sip of tea.

"So, Itsuka-kun, tell me what you remember about the difference between having one eye and having two eyes when surrounded..."

* * *

Hikaru could never conservatively label his life as anything resembling monotonous. Even then, though, his life had a certain..._rhythm _to it that Hikaru could follow. Go to school, go home, leave home if mom and her latest man are there, kill time around town with a customer, bug Masaki for more clients, go people-watching; these were the sorts of things Hikaru could expect on any given day.

Sai went and broke that rhythm.

The man called him almost every other day and Hikaru found himself spending more time with Sai than any of his other three customers _combined_. The man paid him well - and Hikaru was really starting to wonder where Sai was getting all of his money. When he'd asked Sai what his job was, the man had given him a beautific smile and said he played Go. Hikaru wasn't even sure what to make of that.

Sunday was a great day to relax for most of his classmates, but for Hikaru, it only meant he had a whole day to spend working. He had to set up a preparation routine that took the better part of an hour - courtesy of Satomi's instructions.

_"No jewel is beautiful without first being polished_," Masaki had told him once. He'd been flipping through a magazine as he slouched atop the futon that was Hikaru's bed. Satomi had practically dragged the younger boy into the adjacent bathroom, holding a bag full of skin care items and cosmetics.

Hikaru was cute - but he didn't shine like some of the other boys. His skin had a healthy tan which Hikaru personally preferred, even if Satomi made the case that fair-skinned boys tended to sell better. His skin was smooth, for the most part, but he'd had an active childhood and had his fair share of callouses. His hair was a unique fashion statement ("_We can sell that," Masaki chuckled_.) but held a dull sheen and some split ends. He had a nice face but he dressed too frumpy; that's fine for the average boy, but for the job, Hikaru had to well-kept. During the first few jobs, it was okay, but if Hikaru wanted to do well, he had to take care of what he was selling - and he was _selling himself_.

Hikaru's morning routine took well over an hour, prompting him to wake early just to have enough time to get ready. He started by washing his face with warm water; he groped around the area of the sink before his fingers alighted upon the familiar jar of facial cleanser. He applied it generously to his face with practiced ease, washing it off a moment later with cold water. Next, he applied the toner; it smelled like green tea, supposedly, and was a distinctly off-shade of white, but it kept his skin an even tone for a cheap price.

After the toner dried, Hikaru shifted through the cupboard behind the mirror, where he'd left a small tube of skin moisturizer he'd lifted from Satomi. They had the same soft skin type, luckily, and the girl tolerated his sticky fingers so long as he didn't abuse the privilege.

_I'll have to moisturize on Wednesday, _Hikaru mused, staring at his reflection.

Styling hair was little trouble, as Hikaru had opted for a more natural and less stylized look, keeping his dyed bangs but otherwise only brushing the tangles out every morning. He'd switched out his shampoo for a more expensive, salon-like brand that left the strands feeling soft and kept the hair undamaged. Satomi had taken a pair of scissors to his hair early on and snipped off the dead ends.

Hikaru scarcely ever used cosmetics. He knew that for his current age, he couldn't pull them off quite yet, leaving him with a more natural look. He plucked his eyebrows into a thinner, lightly-curved shape that gave him a prettier, tidy appearance. He made sure his nails were trimmed evenly before applying a single layer of nail shiner to them, repeating the process with his toenails. He applied unscented body lotion to every available patch of skin, using a brand that was less oily than most to keep him looking fresh and clean. He swabbed his ears every morning, and brushed his teeth twice in the same hour - once when he got up, then again before he left.

Picking the appropriate attire was both enjoyable and frustrating. Before he'd been...employed, his clothes consisted of shirts and pants a size or two too small for him, always out-of-style and dully-colored. He hadn't been very popular in his elementary school for that very reason. Once he'd gotten the funds to buy his own clothing, Hikaru found fashion appealing to his inner ego; he'd spent most of his leisure money (spare money he personally set aside, after his other expenses were accounted for and paid) on clothes, and if a client took him out shopping, it was clothes that Hikaru would inevitably be drawn to.

Hikaru knew he should stick to clothes that were cheap and sturdy. But some part of him - the child had that had never gotten to express itself, the boy that couldn't even afford his own food without resorting to drastic measures - wanted something rich and high-class, something that he could only dream of having before. Sometimes he wanted clothes that made heads turn, or something simple and elegant - but all of it expensive.

Hikaru would be meeting up with Amekura today. (Surprisingly, Sai hadn't called him.) The man preferred less colorful outfits, so Hikaru knew he'd have to dress appropriately. He decided on a pair of stonewashed jeans and dark green button-up with a black, long-sleeved undershirt. It was simple and understated, exactly the kind of tone that Hikaru knew Amekura liked.

Hikaru's personal fashion tastes varied. Some days he liked bright colors, or clashing patterns, or even something as simple as he wore right now. He liked having accessories - bracelets, rings, necklaces - and even intended to grow out his hair a bit so he could use some of the hair accessories he'd recently seen being popularized by famous actors and musicians.

Saving money was a foreign concept to Hikaru. He'd spent years just trying to survive day-to-day, and it was a hard habit to break. He made sure he could keep himself fed if it was a slow season, and that he could pay the phone bill and keep up on his school expenses. Buying a new school uniform and school supplies was a pain, but he managed to stay afloat. (It helped that Kousaka liked seeing him in uniform, the creep.) His mother was only good for keeping a roof over his head, but chances were he'd spend the night with a customer anyway.

Hikaru didn't really think about what he'd be doing one, five, or ten years from the present moment. As far as he was concerned, his future was extremely limited; he likely wouldn't go to high school (he wouldn't be able to afford it), but at least then he would be at a legal age to pick up a more respectable job. He didn't know if he could let go of his current one, because in the midst of a recession, getting paid about 30,000 yen a night was a better salary than working at the usual convenience store.

Then again, stocking shelves was definitely more preferable than having stranger's hands all over him. And staying up all night tending to the graveyard-shift crowd by supplying their every food and beverage need was better than trying to scald himself with hot water, _wondering if he could ever wash the filth off_.

After nearly four months, Hikaru could safely say he never could.

* * *

"Itsuka-kun," Amekura greeted softly, coming to a stop before the boy. He was a tall man, with broad shoulders and wide eyes, of fair complexion and with hair that he let fall to about chin-length, soft with slight waves. He was attractive, really, and would be very popular with women - if that's where his tastes laid.

Hikaru pasted a bright smile to his lips, standing a little straighter. "Amekura-san - right on time, as always," the boy teased lightly.

They had met through Masaki, although Hikaru had no idea who Amekura's favorite was before him. None of the others boys had mentioned the man - unlike Yamaguchi, who was widely known by their entire group - and Masaki had even given the man full-confidence after the first two times Hikaru had been his. Amekura was soft-spoken and he made of point of paying above what was asked (although nowhere near Sai's level), so Hikaru could admit he preferred the man to either Yamaguchi or Kousaka.

"You wanted to go shopping today, ne, Itsuka-kun?" Amekura asked, as the two began walking. Hikaru had let slip that he was in sore need of a winter wardrobe to his customers (Sai excluded, because Hikaru was still trying to figure out how far he could push him) and Amekura was the first to come calling. They'd agreed to meet up in Harajuku, as Hikaru preferred the fashion stores in this area.

Amekura was upper middle-class. As he lived alone, his salary from teaching was more than enough for him and his living expenses. Unlike Kousaka - who spent more time at his office than out of it, and only had enough time at home to assault Hikaru before paying him the required fee and sending him off. Yamaguchi was the son of a politician and was as corrupt as they come, so even though he could afford a lot, Hikaru was wary of asking for more.

Hikaru always found that shopping with a customer was weird. He hated going with Yamaguchi, as he was expected to act a certain way while in the man's company and it was tiresome doing that outside of the man's home. With Amekura, it was relatively easy but somewhat strained; Hikaru knew he couldn't act like how he really was, but at the same time, he didn't know what was expected of him. Some store employees think he's Amekura's son, or his little brother, or his cousin or something; Amekura tended to just laugh it off and explain nothing.

Shopping took the better part of four hours through twelve stores. Amekura was practically buried under the mound of bags and boxes, although he looked perfectly unruffled and even slightly amused. Three new pairs of shoes, two jackets, and an assortment of fashionable pants and shirts to go with it; Hikaru would catch some of the high school-aged girls eyeing him enviously as Amekura paid for everything. Hikaru doubted they'd be so jealous if they knew what he had to do for all of it.

They returned to Amekura's apartment, where Hikaru spent half an hour sorting through his purchases as Amekura tidied up and ordered sushi for dinner. Hikaru would have to funnel out the clothing; taking all of it back home at once would be too much trouble. He'd take back maybe only half and leave the other half at Amekura's place to get later. The man seemed to like having some of Hikaru's things over at his place, for some reason that Hikaru preferred not to delve into too deeply.

The sushi arrived courtesy of a rambunctious but polite teen. The youth was around Masaki's age but lacked the other's jaded eyes and sharp smile. Hikaru couldn't quite keep the bitter jealousy from welling up as Amekura paid the teen, eyeing the bills dispassionately. To be able to paid for such simple services as food delivery - Hikaru could only imagine such a kind lifestyle.

The sushi was delicious - nothing less than the best for his favorite. Amekura ate quietly, making small comments here and there as Hikaru lightly chattered between bites. Hikaru made up half of the things he told the man - friends who did amusing things, innocuous events funny in hindsight - and tried to keep the sarcastic and bitter side to himself hidden behind his lies. He'd learned this act from one of the other boys in his line of work; Chikara was only two years older than Hikaru, with a knack for picking up the strangest customers. Hikaru had learned that playing a role for a customer guaranteed their continued patronage from the boy and he made sure to play his act accordingly.

"You've been hard to get into contact with lately, Itsuka-kun," Amekura stated, small smile on his lips as he watched the boy finish off the last of the sushi. The man was nursing a cold can of beer, although he'd only given Hikaru a can of soda. "Has school been keeping you busy?"

Was the man purposely pretending that Hikaru didn't have other customers? Hikaru could play along, "I'm learning Go, actually."

Well, he was being _paid _to learn Go, and there was just something about the game and the man teaching it that Hikaru couldn't help but get interested in. Sai was clearly in love with the game and that love showed through with every lesson taught and every game played between them. Hikaru was slowly picking up speed in placing stones, although holding the stones correctly took him the better part of two weeks to learn and he'd lost his grip more times than he dared count. Sai was never deterred, always patiently waiting and gently correcting Hikaru if necessary.

The games they played weren't even worthy of the word; it was more like Hikaru was being lead through a series of movements guided by Sai. It could barely be called _shidougo _at this stage, and the few times where Hikaru was allowed to play freely, he was just effortlessly crushed despite the myriad of stones he had been given for a handicap. It was both frustrating and disheartening, but Sai always looked so _pleased _with his progress that Hikaru didn't let it get to him.

"Go?" Amekura echoed, dark eyes wide in pure surprise. Hikaru couldn't fault him for that; not only was Go something that had fallen out of fashion for the younger generation, it was also like Hikaru's antithesis. Composed and dignified, subtle and conservative - everything Hikaru was not. This fact was not lost on Hikaru.

Sai didn't even seem to care. He had Hikaru solving _tsumego _problems every time they met as a warm-up, followed by a game of _shidougo _that took far longer than Hikaru thought it would. Sai would then spend the next two hours picking apart every move to discuss with the boy, pointing out his weaknesses. Hikaru couldn't find it in himself to be indignant or even indifferent; Sai was excited about what he was teaching, and that enthusiasm was infectious. Hikaru found himself reluctantly drawn in, paying rapt attention and even discussing some of his own thoughts on moves.

Sai did not, even once, touch Hikaru. Sometimes Hikaru would test that boundary, trying to see if Sai really was true. He'd once snuck up behind Sai, wrapping his arms around the man's slender waist. (Amekura liked this particular move; it hinted at an intimacy that the piano teacher preferred to have.) Sai had went absolutely still, and after a moment, kindly asked Hikaru to let go.

When Sai had been attempting to fix dinner for the sixth time - some kind of stir fried noodle that turned out to be difficult to chew and too sour - Hikaru had tried to peck Sai on the cheek. The man had practically thrown himself back, violet eyes wide as saucers, and ended up banging his head against the cupboard and knocking over some of the ingredients left out on the counter. He'd flailed and blushed for a good five minutes, stuttering over an admonishment as he tried to tidy up everything that had fallen to the floor. Hikaru had watched him silently the entire time, a perplexed expression on his face.

Sai really didn't seem to be interested in Hikaru for any intimate purpose. This just made the man seem even weirder; who picks up prostitutes in order to teach them some old board game?

_Am I his charity case? _Hikaru wondered to himself. His pride sizzled at the thought - but at this point, he didn't have much of that either. Still, if Sai just wanted to have a good conscience, why couldn't he just donate to charity like everyone else?

Amekura laid a hand on his shoulder, leaning in close.

_Back to work_, Hikaru shook himself out of his thoughts. He couldn't afford to get distracted now, especially by strange men obsessed with board games.

* * *

The interview with Go Weekly had been a success, or so Sai had been told by everyone from Inoue to the Go Institute's official PR manager. He should probably invest in a manager - who knew being Meijin could be so popularized? - but Sai wouldn't know where to find one, and that was just more money wasted. He would have to save up every last yen coin to make sure he'd have enough to keep Hikaru at his side.

When he wasn't playing Go or spending time at the Go Institute, Sai found his way to the public library. Psychological books on victims of child abuse and neglect, victims of sexual abuse, raising a child - he was starting to get looks torn between curious and pitying form the librarians now - took up two entire aisles by themselves. Sai tried to find the most pertinent and read through them, but was wary of checking any out in case Hikaru discovered them at his apartment. He didn't think the boy would appreciate any of Sai's efforts to help.

Monopolizing Hikaru's time was easy enough. He made a habit of calling Hikaru almost every other day at the same time - conveniently after school officially ended - and asking for his company. Hikaru had yet to decline, as Sai had set up a routine for them now: homework, _tsumego _problems, dinner, _shidougo_, and then discussion. He tried to get the boy to sleep over as often as possible, leery of letting Hikaru wander off late at night and not trusting his home environment at all. Hikaru usually did - especially if Sai threw in another small sum of money - but some days he would just give Sai these _looks, _as if wondering if Sai was actually real, before declining and traipsing off.

It took every ounce of self-control Sai had not to force his hand or keep the boy under lock-and-key. Just knowing that on those nights when Hikaru didn't stay with him, he was likely off with some disgusting monster that-

Sai's eyes closed in frustration, holding the book in a bruising grip. It was too early to start making demands of Hikaru, as he still hadn't told Sai his real name. Sai could only do the most basic of things for the boy: feed him, teach him, and shelter him. It was hard enough trying to convince Hikaru that he was willing to do all of that and more for virtually nothing. Sometimes, Sai worried that Hikaru treated learning Go as just another job he had to do to please the customer.

Then he'd catch a move or two here or there during their _shidougo _lessons, or hear some stray comment the boy would make during their discussion that would cement in the pro's mind that he was doing the right thing. The wonder in Hikaru's voice, that small bit of happiness he could see in those familiar eyes whenever Sai would compliment one of his moves - that passion was there. It was just Sai's job to awaken it.

* * *

It rained for most of Friday. Hikaru had been half-expecting a call from Sai, as the man had been silent almost all week, but no such call came. He tried to recall if he'd upset the man recently but couldn't think of anything that would set the even-tempered man off. Sai was patient to a fault and only ever became vexed if Hikaru made a move that could be considered inappropriate.

By the late afternoon, Hikaru had only received a text from Yamaguchi complaining about how lonely he was. As Sai didn't appear to want to companionship - _seriously, what the hell happened? _- and he could do with some more money, Hikaru had sent a text back to the man offering up his company. Yamaguchi had eagerly agreed and ordered Hikaru to meet him by the Shinjuku train station.

Hikaru quickly trekked home, changing out of his uniform and into street attire. Yamaguchi was sensitive and unnerving; he preferred to see Hikaru as some pure and innocent boy that he could defile. With this in mind, Hikaru donned a pair of simple blue jeans and a white sweater with little in the way of accessories.

Hikaru had been Yamaguchi's favorite for a little over a month now, although the man was well-known among the escort circle for his fickle tastes. Men and women, adults and children - Yamaguchi had tried them all. He was the most worrisome of Hikaru's clientele, but he paid well and would surely move on to his next fancy soon enough. Hikaru just had to stick it out a little longer.

Yamaguchi greeted him in front of the station with a giant hug and wide grin. Some women nearby tittered at the display - likely thinking the man to simply be an overaffectionate relative - as Yamaguchi whisked him away for some light shopping. The man was only a few centimeters shorter than Amekura, with a more solid build and average features. His hair was short, crew-cut and as dark as his eyes.

Shopping for clothes with Yamaguchi was the worst, Hikaru knew. The man didn't care what Hikaru wanted to wear, he only cared about what he wanted to see Hikaru in. That was why Hikaru tried to stick with electronics when shopping with Yamaguchi, but there were just some days he couldn't get away with it.

Three outfits later - all looking far too demure and innocent for Hikaru's liking - Yamaguchi treated him to a lavish dinner. Dessert was a sundae that Hikaru took his time savoring, ignoring the way Yamaguchi watched him with growing interest.

The hotel Yamaguchi escorted him to was more upscale than usual, but it mattered little as Hikaru was lead to a room on the 16th floor. Yamaguchi appeared to have checked in before he'd met with Hikaru, as he already had the card key and the lights of the room were already on as they entered.

"Ah - you're early, Yuuji!" Yamaguchi crowed in delight.

Hikaru finally caught sight of the tall man reclined into one of the armchairs, sipping at a glass of red wine as dark eyes idly swept over Hikaru. He was tall and lithe, with a sharp nose and narrow eyes set in a bland face. He looked to be about Yamaguchi's age, dressed in a suit similar to Yamaguchi's - high-class and neat.

"Itsuka-kun, this is my friend Yuuji," Yamaguchi gushed, pushing the child forward. Hikaru was hesitant, mind racing at the implications of another person added to this gathering.

"I see Ryuusei wasn't exaggerating," the other man mused, smiling in a way that made Hikaru want to flee. "You are quite the treasure, Itsuka-kun."

He was still under Vanilla, Hikaru was sure of it. Masaki or Satomi would have told him if he'd been changed. The label implied only the most basic of services, and of those services, it was only to be one-on-one. A third person wasn't allowed; that escalated into the Caramel category, where more than one was the standard. That's where Chikara was, and Hikaru had been told some of the things that the Caramel clients had done to the boy. That category wasn't something Hikaru could tolerate.

Hikaru froze, eyes wide as he took in Yuuji's advancing footsteps. "Vanilla," Hikaru reminded. "I'm under Vanilla - this is violating the terms of agreement!"

Yuuji chuckled, crouching down to look Hikaru in the eye, "Not at all. This will be just like any other time, Itsuka-kun - we both know what Vanilla entails. And you'll be paid double - isn't that good?"

"Right!" Yamaguchi exclaimed, shuffling over to the desk. Two small stacks of bills sat side by side, which Yamaguchi picked up and handed over to Hikaru to count. The boy did so tentatively, both men watching him to make sure of the amount before Yamaguchi placed them back on the desk. "See? Sixty-thousand yen isn't bad for one night, right? And you just get to relax and enjoy it!"

The money was tempting.

Hikaru took a nervous step back but ended up bumping into Yamaguchi. The man wasn't deterred, settling a hand on each shoulder of the boy and applying light pressure. The smile on his lips widened into a near-delirious grin, "Don't be scared, Itsuka-kun! This will be _fun_."

* * *

Sai, frankly put, had been put through hell this week. With the Pro Exams taking place and finding out Touya Akira would be taking them this time, Sai was just trying to keep the reporters at bay as they hounded him through the Institute with their questions. (_Are you nervous about the former Meijin's son? Is seeing Touya Akira taking the exams making you want to pick up a student or two? There are rumors that you went to visit the insei - is it true?_) He'd been asked to attend a Children's Go Tournament from Monday through Wednesday, had to be present for the exams for all of Thursday and Friday, and then had no time to check on Hikaru as Ogata's new girlfriend turned out to be a Sai-fan and was unashamedly trying to hook up with the current Meijin in front of her boyfriend.

He'd left Hikaru a few messages and sent a few texts late Friday night, but there still had yet to be a response. Now, as Saturday morning dawned and Sai tried to ready himself for another day of watching Touya Akira blow through the Pro Exams, the Meijin tried to collect his thoughts.

This schedule was hectic. Things would settle down again once the Pro Exams ended, but then the cycle would re-start with the Shin Shodan games. Hikaru had yet to open up, only just barely starting to relax minutely around the man. Picking through the boy's masks was another challenge altogether, especially with such a warring viewpoint of Hikaru courtesy of the dreamverse. The only genuine thing that Hikaru ever seemed to display regularly was bitterness.

Sai sighed, running his hands through his hair. He was an affectionate person by nature, but he always had to keep a restraint on himself when around Hikaru. The boy would surely misinterpret any sign of affection as intimacy, and if he ever saw Sai as one of those disgusting men that he usually serviced, he'd be landed back at square one with only the smallest sliver of a chance at redemption.

Sai glanced out the window with a frown. The rain was pouring extra hard at this early hour; he'd have to remember to dig the umbrella out of the closet to bring along before he left. He idly wondered if Hikaru had an umbrella, if the boy had bothered to go to school today, if he was solving any of the _tsumego _problems in the workbook Sai had given him in his free time.

Imagining Hikaru in school was a novel thought. When he'd imagined himself to be a ghost, the Hikaru there was hardly attentive and quick to nap; the idea that the Hikaru in the reality would do the same made Sai giggle. With those sharp eyes and that jaded outlook, Sai supposed it'd be a miracle if the boy had any friends at all.

The thought made Sai's blood turn ice-cold. Obviously Hikaru's family situation was terrible, to say the least - but if he had not one single friend...

It explained the look that haunted the boy's eyes whenever he thought Sai wasn't watching him. That lonely, bitter, _agonized _look that crossed those eyes when lips weren't pulled into a facsimile of a smile. The notion that this Hikaru shared any similarities to the warm, vibrant one of his dreams was laughable; the idea that he may have been the same, at any point, before being twisted into the cynical youth of the present infuriated Sai.

Hikaru used to have a smile brighter than the sun; now it was as dark as the void between stars.

A soft knock on the front door interrupted his thoughts. That was probably a good thing, as he was slowly but surely working himself up into a frenzy over Hikaru; he'd been tempted to ring the child up just to check on him. If he carried on this way, he'd likely be speeding over to Hikaru's school soon just to make sure the boy had an umbrella.

Opening the door, dark eyes widened at the sight of the figure standing nervously on the other side. Sai practically slammed the door open, hands reaching out - before just as suddenly freezing when the other male flinched back.

Sai's arms dropped back to his sides, but he couldn't stop the trembling even if he tried. "H-Itsuka-kun," Sai managed out of a dry throat.

The boy looked up at him through his bangs. He looked unkempt; his clothes were wrinkled and seemingly pulled on at the last minute, he was soaked to the bone, and - what had made Sai's heart leap right out of his chest - there was a bruise forming on the left side of his face, from the cheekbone to the tip of his lips.

"Sorry," Hikaru apologized; his voice was even and somewhat cheerful, given with a small smile that made Sai's heart twist. "Your place is closer than the station, and it was raining really hard-"

"No, no, it's fine!" Sai said, stepping aside to let the child in. Hikaru strode in, pulling off his sneakers and walking a few more steps inside to stand in the living room. Sai shut the door and followed him in, violet eyes sweeping over the small figure as if he could see the injuries through the clothing.

"May I use your shower?" Hikaru asked. "I don't want to catch a cold. You can join me, if you like."

"I will not," Sai stated instantly. He thanked the gods above that his voice was even. "But you can use the shower. I'll prepare a towel and clothes for you."

Hkaru gave him another dead-eyed smile, "Sai-san is so considerate."

Sai left Hikaru to take a shower, leaving a towel in the bathroom before setting out to find something the boy could wear. While Sai was slender, he still wasn't a child's size; the closest thing he could find to Hikaru's size were a pair of sweatpants with a tie that could hopefully tighten around Hikaru's waist, and a plain black tee that he'd gotten for morning walks after he awoke in the hospital.

He went back into the bathroom, intent on setting them where Hikaru could see them, but couldn't stop himself from glancing over at the child. Hikaru hadn't started the shower yet, having just undressed and stood only in his boxers as he stared at the knobs of Sai's shower in consideration. He didn't turn around or say anything as Sai entered, but his posture stiffened near-imperceptibly.

Sai didn't see it; he was too busy staring at the marks that littered Hikaru's body. A vast majority were bite marks; an adult's mouth, judging by the size, and so deep that they left dark red teeth impressions and smears of blood. Hickeys were dusted about here and there, and it was obvious the marks continued on past the boxers. A set of nail marks were scratched onto Hikaru's sides, as if someone had grabbed him by the waist hard enough to draw blood.

Sai let out a choked sound as tears gathered in his eyes. Hikaru first looked at him over his shoulder, eyes as hard as diamonds, before turning around completely. Hikaru's front was, if possible, even worse; bite marks and hickeys meshed together, dried blood marring tanned skin and tainting the entire area. Bruises encircled his upper arms and his hips, finger-like impressions that left little to the imagination.

Hikaru looked so small and frail then - a child's body, littered with marks no child should bare.

Sai couldn't take it. He pivoted and dashed out of the bathroom, down the hall and into the living room. The rain was thundering against the windows, echoing the loud pounding of Sai's heart as he trembled from head to toe as emotions flitted and twisted inside him. Revulsion and fury fought for dominance in his heart, but pure anguish won out in the end. Sai crumpled to the floor, hand over his mouth in a useless gesture of restraint as he sobbed.

_Hikaru was- Hikaru was-_

Soft footsteps padded down the hall but Sai couldn't hear them through his heaving. A shadow fell over his back before his guest crouched down next to him, a gentle weight settling against his back.

"Sai-san," Hikaru began, soft and sweet and so broken that Sai couldn't even guess the depths. "Am I really so pitiful that you have to cry for me like this?"

Sai _had _to cry for Hikaru - if only because the boy would never cry for himself.

* * *

**A/N**: ...maybe this story _is_ darker than my other HnG one. Huh.

_On Go_: Hikaru is in the midst of learning. He's uber-beginner at the moment - at the level where he'd be crushed on NetGo, really. He is going to learn, over time, but right now he's not even at canon-Hikaru's level. This Hikaru doesn't even have a love for the game, just a sort of fascination with it.

Alright, to get this out of the way - _Sai cannot be Hikaru's Insta-Fix_. You do not just find an abused child, pick them up, and instantly they recover. It does not work that way and Sai _knows_ at least that much. Sai is trying to work in steps (e.g. getting Hikaru to tell Sai his real name is a sign of developing trust), but this is a slow, trying process. Sai knows he only has a very limited control/influence over Hikaru at the moment, and that their relationship is as coldly professional as it can get. Essentially-kidnapping Hikaru would only damage him psychologically, _especially by a man who is, in Hikaru's mindset, another customer_. Calling the Japanese-equivalent of Child Protective Services would likely lose him contact with Hikaru and Sai isn't willing to take that risk, either.

_On Sai's breakdown_: Sai knows that Hikaru is a child prostitute, but he didn't get the full-impact of such an idea until he saw the evidence on Hikaru - making the situation _much more real_ than he was emotionally or mentally ready for.

_On Hikaru's "Job"_: Prostitute mixed with paid dating. For those unfamiliar with the concept of _enjo-kousai_ (paid dating), it is essentially when a patron (usually an older male) pays an escort (usually a high school-aged girl) to accompany him for a good time, like going to a karaoke bar, dinner, or shopping. The girl may be paid in cash or be bought things by the patron (or a mix of both), and it is not unusual for sex to follow such a service. For Hikaru, the sex part is always but his customers may or may not take him out on dates. Hikaru's job is also ranked by services provided: Vanilla (the most basic), Caramel, Toffee, Choco, then Espresso. I won't go into the exact details of each rank unless the story requires it.

_On Hikaru_: Child prostitution, at least in my eyes, is essentially _rape_. Hikaru is suffering a severe case of neglect from his family, as well as sexual abuse from others. I am not one for melodrama, but this is a very serious issue and will not be glossed over for the sake of making everything seem happy. Hikaru is psychologically and physically abused (in one way or another) on a daily basis; no one just recovers from that the moment a stranger shows even a bit of kindness. The recovery process will be slow, weaving throughout the entire story, and it will at no one point be instantaneous. I just cannot stand rape-fics where the victim instantly recovers thanks to True Love - that is complete bullshit. Hikaru is going to be haunted by his experiences for a very long time, and a support system will have to be slowly built just so he can hang on.

_On the Abuse_: Honestly, this is likely going to be the only chapter where Hikaru's job is so explicitly shown. I needed Sai (and you readers) to understand the sheer brutality of Hikaru's situation. This lays the foundation for exactly what Hikaru is recovering from and how, eventually, he and Sai will develop a relationship._ I do not intend to focus exclusively on the abuse itself_. As one of my readers perfectly summarized, "What's interesting about stories featuring abuse are the effects it has on the characters, the aftermath and how it changes the character growth, not the actual depictions of the abuse."

_For my Guest reviewer_: I can totally understand where you're coming from. Prostitution - particularly when a child is involved - is horrifying. While there may be some jobs out there for Hikaru to take (really menial ones come to mind, like errand-runner or pet-sitter), Hikaru needed a lot of money and he needed it immediately. While he may be okay if he took on a few jobs at once, he is only twelve and the economy is in the middle of recession (even in-storyline). "Respectable" jobs like restaurant worker and the like aren't going to risk hiring a kid. The shadier jobs prefer older kids, around 15-16 years of age. Also, Hikaru was at the mercy of opportunity: he met Satomi, who introduced him to Masaki. If he hadn't met the girl, he very likely would have continued his stealing business. However, finding that Masaki's gig was more profitable with a more secure market, he opted for that instead.

**Any questions?** _Drop a review._ I don't mind answering in a PM. If, for some reason, you don't have an account on FFnet, just leave a review and I'll try to answer it in the next chapter via Author's Notes, if need be.

**Concerns?** _Drop a review_. If you think I've already glossed over something, please tell me. This is for either the abuse, the plot, the timeline, etc.

**Comments?** _Drop a review_. Just your opinions, what you think of the story so far, whatever. I love hearing what readers think! :) Missing your favorite character? Let me know - maybe I can work in an early cameo.


	3. Heart's Thimble

**A/N**: Again -_ EVERYONE, PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS_. For those new to fanfiction, the warnings are there so you know what to expect. It's not there just to look pretty.

_On another note_: **You guys are so awesome!** The reader response was great - thank you so much! There were a lot of good comments, and many of you made very good points and arguments, especially with regards to the rehabilitation and the eventual pairings.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Hikaru no Go.

**Pairings**:_ !UPDATED!_

_-_AkiHika (slow-building so don't expect anything truly noticeable for awhile)

-PLATONIC SaiHika (There will be NO romantic elements to this relationship. Everyone made a very good argument against it!)

-_tentative_ OgataSai

**Warnings**: Implications of horrible things. Ditto the other chapters.

* * *

**Chapter Three**

_Heart's Thimble_

* * *

Ogata would not describe himself as egotistical. If pushed into defining himself, he could concede that he was _intense_; the way he played was not gentle in the slightest, his moves resonating with a ruthless, sharp edge that mirrored the look in his eyes during a match. Ogata tended to hold others with aloof contempt unless they proved themselves to be more than what they appeared. He disdained his own generation of players for being so weak, unable to compete with their predecessors before being swallowed up by those climbing up behind them.

Sai, as always, was the exception. He is the star of the Go world in every way: bright enough to illuminate both the beauty and the mystery, but too far away to quite reach. Ogata was interested in strength, however, regardless of whether or not he could match it; he was drawn to Sai as the man rose through the ranks unhindered, violet eyes alight and wielding a hand nigh-undefeatable. That strength alienated Sai from his peers, in the same way Ogata's disdain did to his own.

Ogata couldn't quite recall his and Sai's first meeting. All he could remember about getting to know the man more personally was being irritated that, even for being such a brilliant Go player, Sai approached everything with childish naiveté and delight. Mornings spent at the Go Institute involved Ogata scowling into his coffee as Sai chattered at him, seemingly taking his grunts and biting remarks as appropriate conversation responses. Late nights were dedicated to games that Ogata always lost, or stumbling around in an alcohol-induced haze with only Sai to guide him back to a safe place to collapse.

They were friends, even if the word sometimes got stuck in Ogata's throat. (Sai, of course, was only too happy to proclaim it.) And if that made Ogata's heart skip a beat, it was only because he was getting too old for such flowery bullshit. He did know Sai well enough to recognize that the man was as lonely as Ogata was, though, even if he was so wholly dedicated to their profession. Sai worked in a predictable routine outside of the goban, which made him easier to get along with, in Ogata's opinion.

Sai was breaking that pattern now.

"I'm sorry," Sai said, violet eyes downcast but hardened with resolve. "But I cannot have anyone over at this time."

Ogata rose an eyebrow, hiding his surprise and growing suspicion behind a long drag of his cigarette. "You have a woman over or something?"

Very briefly, something dark flashed through the other pro's eyes before pale skin flushed and violet eyes settled on Ogata's own pair of sharp brown. "I do not," Sai replied. A novelty - he actually sounded vaguely disdainful of the very idea. Something like hope battered at the heart all of Ogata's ex-girlfriends swore he didn't have, but he ignored it. "I just can't have anyone over for now."

"You don't have to apologize," Ogata refuted gruffly. "It's your place, not a community center. So what if it's closer than my house and more convenient for games, even though we haven't played in-"

"_Seiji_," Sai interrupted with a soft, warning tone, his stance uncompromising. Ogata took a longer drag, letting an uncomfortable silence settle between them. Sai was looking at him, partially pained but mostly resolute. Ogata matched that look with his own glare, all while trying to convince himself that he _wasn't _sulking like a teenage girl whose boyfriend was ignoring her. Ogata Seiji did _not_ sulk.

Sai sighed, a heavy sound given with slumping shoulders. Ogata wondered if that meant he won, but his heart only twisted in guilt at the sight.

"I'm sorry, Seiji," Sai said again, voice weary. "But please - I need more time."

Ogata almost wanted to ask for what, but the look in those familiar violet eyes muted his words before they could even leave his throat. Instead, he crushed the smoking ash of his cigarette with the heel of his shoe, leaving a black smear against the pavement of the sidewalk.

* * *

Sai stepped into his apartment, balancing two orders of ramen and convenience store-drinks and snacks in his arms. "Itsuka-kun?" he called out into the dimly-lit recesses of his apartment, toeing off his shoes at the entryway. He moved over to the dining table to put down his burdens, casting a look back over to the hallway where a smaller figure slowly emerged into the light.

"Welcome home," was delivered in an amused tone. Hikaru's eyes swept over Sai and the food, then back over the rest of the apartment as if to make sure nothing had changed. Sai gave him a bright smile that was mostly real in response, returning from the kitchenette with two bowls and matching chopsticks.

Hikaru joined him at the table with slow, measured steps; his eyes were sharp as they took into account every move Sai made. Sai was just as careful with his own gestures: no personal touching, no sudden moves, and if he moved in Hikaru's general direction, he made sure the boy knew his reason beforehand. It wasn't quite like walking on eggshells - it was more like being watched by a predatory animal who was ready to slice him to pieces should he startle it.

"I brought ramen," Sai started cheerfully. He poured a section of steamed noodles in both bowls, followed by the vegetables, then the broth. He left the styrofoam box full of chicken and pork at the side, not wanting to presume the boys' tastes. Hikaru sat down, picking up some pieces of the chicken to add to his soup with Sai doing the same.

"I love ramen," Hikaru stated brightly. Sai couldn't tell if he was being honest, though; the boy's eyes held that same laughing quality to them that made the pro wonder if he was at the butt of some internal joke.

"It's not very healthy but once in awhile won't hurt," Sai mused between bites. Hikaru gave him this strange little smile before beginning to eat, so the Go player had no chance to decipher what it could possibly mean.

Sai's eyes lingered over the boy as they quietly ate. It had only been two days since Hikaru had come to him in the pouring rain, and already his movements had smoothed out into a predator's grace. Yesterday, his movements had been stuttered and cringing, hindered by the swath of bandages Sai had wrapped him in.

The risk of infection was too great. Sai knew enough about the risk of untreated injuries to not let Hikaru act as if his body weren't bearing the damage of a monster. After _certain _activities were presumably left uncleaned, followed by a run through polluted rain - who knew how many dangerous germs had slipped into those scratches? Fortunately, Sai's medical supplies were never left void; between the anti-bacterial spray and reams of gauze, Hikaru had smelled like disinfectant and resembled someone who'd been in a body-wide surgery.

Hikaru had called it overkill but didn't protest. The boy likely appreciated the concern, or at the very least the treatment; he probably wouldn't have done much more than slap a few band-aids on after trying to scrub it clean with soap.

"You play Go as your job?" Hikaru asked, finishing off the last of his noodles. Sai nodded, popping open the bottle of melon-lime soda after arranging a small-scale wall of soda choices in front of the boy. Hikaru cocked his head in question, half-smile on his lips as he plucked a bottle of strawberry _ramune _from the beverage line. "So you teach it or something?"

"Not quite," Sai refuted gently. "I play Go professionally. _Yes_, you can play it professionally for money," he continued with a smile, cutting off Hikaru's question before it could even begin. The boy only blinked in response.

"How?" Hikaru asked.

It was Sai's turn to be confused. How? How else? "Well, we have ranks... Then there are official matches, to see if you can advance up into the next rank. There are also title holders, and, um, tournaments... It's all very official."

Hikaru's expression relaxed back into amusement. "That was a terrible description of your job, Sai-san. I guess all of your students are lucky that you're better at explaining how it's played."

Of course the first definitively sincere comment he'd get from the boy would be a back-handed compliment. This didn't make Sai any less pleased though.

Sai paused in thought, giving Hikaru a strange look. "I don't have any students except for you," he stated.

Hikaru quirked an eyebrow, "What, Go professionals can't take up students?"

"They can. It's actually expected for the higher-level players to take on groups of students," Sai deferred.

"So now you're pretty high-ranking, Sai-san?" Hikaru questioned.

Sai shook his head, thinking it over. Even if he told the boy his title, Hikaru surely wouldn't recognize it; and that would lead to a whole host of explanations that the boy likely wouldn't be interested in hearing quite yet. "I've been in the upper ranks for awhile now, but I suppose I just never felt the need to take any students. I-"_ I was waiting for you._ "-proved myself wrong when I first saw you."

The strange look returned to Hikaru's eyes, accompanied by a sardonic smile. "That's not what most men who first see me think, you know."

Sai flinched.

Hikaru's gaze bored into the man for a long moment, quiet tension filling the air. Hikaru wasn't ruffled by it in the slightest, but it was taking all of the willpower Sai had to stifle his quivering at the memory. Fury and anguish rocked through the Go professional as the boy looked at him, the bandages wrapped around his body peeking out from under the collar of the too-large adult shirt he wore.

"You're weird," Hikaru proclaimed. The sureness in his voice prompted Sai to gape; for just a moment, it felt as if the coma-version of Hikaru had spoken to him. "A go-obsessed weirdo who picks up people from the street to teach Go. That's a dangerous hobby, Sai-san."

"You're the only one," Sai interjected.

Hikaru's eyes darkened. "And that's why you're so weird, Sai-san. Unless you're looking, you won't be able to see me, you know? To everyone else, I'm not really there," Hikaru's eyes held a far-away look, a smile playing across his lips as if he were thinking of something pleasant. "I'm not supposed to exist. Something like me shouldn't happen, but there I am - and no one wants to see that, so they look away and pretend I'm not there. It's so funny-"

Hikaru stopped, expression morphing into surprise at the sight of tears running down his companion's face. Sai didn't bother with wiping them away, knew it would be a useless endeavor and instead focused on making himself as silent as possible. His head was bent downward, long strands of hair obscuring his face from the boy's view and sliding past his shoulders.

"You cry a lot, Sai-san," Hikaru reproached, sounding almost exasperated. Gentle hands slid through Sai's hair, tilting the man's head up in order to meet violet eyes. "You cried when you saw the marks on me, but then you treated them and bandaged them - even though your hands were shaking so bad that it took you three times to wrap them correctly. You let me - knowing what I am and what I do - sleep in your bed as you take the couch, you pay to teach me a game that I'm no good at, you leave me alone in this nice apartment as you go to work, even though I could have robbed you of whatever you have in this place, you buy me dinner and then cry for me again."

Hikaru pulled away, drawing out the long strands of hair as they threaded through his fingers. "In short, Sai-san - _you're strange,_" Hikaru slouched forward in his seat. "And it just occurred to me that I've been spending the last two days with a weirdo like you for absolutely no reason."

Sai's tears stopped, and he rubbed away the wet tracks they had made over his face with the sleeve of his shirt. He took a moment to compose himself as Hikaru continued to grumble about wasted time, only catching the boy's attention when he began to pick up their dishes.

"Then let's play a game after I clean this up," Sai suggested. "Go is all the reason needed."

"...Weirdo."

* * *

Sai's apartment was awfully dull when the man wasn't home. The only entertainment Hikaru had was the _tsumego _workbooks Sai had left him, or the bookshelf-full of Honinbou Shuusaku's completed kifu collection. Considering he had already gone through about five _tsumego_ workbooks - he'd be dreaming about Go, he just _knew _it - that left him either staring at kifu he didn't fully understand or watching the shadows play across the bare walls.

He'd been raiding Sai's closet for three days now, trying to find clothing that he didn't find lacking in taste to wear. Sai's fashion was horrendously bland, and if he had to wear one more plain shirt matched with sweatpants, Hikaru was going to scream. He didn't think Sai would appreciate the fact that the one thing Hikaru chose to have a breakdown over was clothes.

Hikaru didn't know what Sai could be doing for hours a day when all he did was play Go professionally. Perhaps it was different if he had to teach, but according to the man, his only student was Hikaru. (_That_ had been shocking; _why him?_) Sai also came home at the same time every night, like he had nothing better to do than spend time with Hikaru.

Hikaru knew he wasn't favorable company; he was sarcastic and bitter, and he made Sai cry so often that Hikaru actually began to feel bad about it. Not to mention he was a complete burden - Sai methodically changed his bandages every night, re-applying the disinfectant with more confidence. Hikaru himself became less suspicious each time as Sai's hands never wavered from their task and the man's eyes never held that same gleam of interest his other customers had whenever they saw his exposed flesh.

More often than not, Hikaru began to wonder what exactly Sai was seeing when he looked at him. When his mother looked at him, she saw the beginning of everything that went wrong in her life; when Amekura or his other customers looked at him, they saw a good time; when Masaki looked at him, he saw potential profit; but what did Sai see?

"_I proved myself wrong when I first saw you."_

What had Sai seen when he first met him on the street? Something so pitiful that even he could save it? Something he couldn't fully understand, but maybe it was worth saving? What exactly was _'Itsuka' _to Sai?

Something from Sai's bedroom began to sing.

It took Hikaru a moment to recognize the tune of his cellphone's ringer, so he nearly missed the call as he bounded back into the darkened hall and through the doorway, stumbling past the bed and groping for the source of the sound in a dusk-lit room. He flipped it open just before the last ring, falling back onto the bed after glimpsing the caller ID.

"Yo, Masaki-san!" Hikaru greeted into the phone.

"_Itsuka,"_ came the amused tone. _"Where the hell have you been, you little shit? I haven't seen you hanging around Shinjuku recently."_

Hikaru scratched the tip of his nose, scrunching it slightly as the movement pulled at the bandages wrapped around his upper arm. "I'm a busy guy," Hikaru offered blandly.

"_Yeah, I bet,"_ Masaki scoffed. _"Busy enough that Amekura actually contacted __**me **__in order to get in touch with __**you**__. You're not replying to his calls and he wants to see you this week."_

Hikaru had been ignoring the man's messages. It wasn't that he completely disliked the man, as there had to be something to the fact that Amekura had been given full-confidence whereas Yamaguchi still had to go through Masaki to get to Hikaru. Still, Hikaru had been enjoying spending time with Sai, even if the man was the weirdest person he'd ever met.

"_I didn't give him full-confidence to you just for him to re-route through me, dammit,"_ Masaki continued on waspishly. _"If you lose Amekura, your rating might go down."_

"I can't see anyone right now," Hikaru rebuffed, not wanting to hear Masaki nag at him for losing customers. "I saw Yamaguchi a few days ago-"

"_What? I didn't set that up-"_

"He contacted me directly. I thought it was going to be the usual, but he-" Hikaru paused, wincing as he remembered. "-He fucked me up pretty bad. I'm gonna need at least two weeks to get back into better condition."

There was silence on the other end as the older boy digested this information. Hikaru knew he wasn't imagining the chill that seeped from the other side. He threw an arm over his eyes as he waited, obscuring the darkening room from his vision. The bed was soft - almost sinfully so - and the sheets were still tossed up from when Hikaru had gotten up that morning. The room was just as bare as the rest of the apartment, with only a closet full of dull clothes and a plastic plant situated in the far corner, as if some afterthought to decoration. It didn't match the man who occupied it at all, which was a shame; Sai was far more lively and interesting than his room belied.

"_You shouldn't have gone."_

The corner of Hikaru's lips quirked up in a smirk. "I shouldn't have," Hikaru agreed.

"_Take the two weeks to recover. You're dropping Yamaguchi, and you owe me 65 percent from whatever you got that night-"_

Hikaru's eyes widened at the outrageous cut. "_Sixty-five-_"

"_THEN DON'T START MEETING WITH THE CUSTOMERS I DON'T APPROVE OF, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!"_ Masaki roared into the speaker.

Hikaru was quiet, letting the other male regain his equilibrium. This was business; nothing more, nothing less. Sometimes the 'company' took more than they should, but that was life for you. Hikaru knew enough about how the world worked that his protestations would be outright ignored, if not met with violence.

"_What happened with Yamaguchi?"_ Masaki finally asked. It was not out of concern.

Hikaru readjusted his grip on the phone, brushing one hand over his chest as he mused over the damage. The scratches were scabbing over nicely and the bruises were starting to fade, especially under Sai's obsessive treatment. "He didn't hold back."

"_Come in tonight. I need to see for myself."_

Hikaru winced. That was the last thing he wanted to do; Masaki was disconcertingly observant. If one looked closely enough, it was obvious the bite marks adorning Hikaru's body were made by two different people. If Hikaru managed to get through a Caramel encounter, Masaki might think he was ready to take it on as his usual. Hikaru didn't think he'd _ever _be ready for Caramel service.

"_Itsuka. You're coming in."_ Masaki's tone brooked no argument.

"I'll be there," Hikaru murmured. He hung up without bothering to to say a goodbye.

Sai came home that night to a thank-you note on the table and an empty apartment.

* * *

The place didn't have an official name, as far as Hikaru knew; it had been christened with the moniker of 'The Gate' by those who had to walk through its doors. Given the place's services, something more inappropriate - perhaps "Candyshop" - would have been better, but the nickname held a more subjective meaning. Hikaru personally found it to be the gateway to Hell.

The place was two stories tall, the first story dedicated to a front desk obscured by panleled wood and glass, looking more like an office than expected. The secretary at the desk - a middle-aged woman with graying hair held in a tight bun - eyed him shrewdly as he passed her, going up the staircase sectioned off to the left without a second glance.

The second floor had more flooring than its downstairs counterpart, divided into three rooms. The smallest was an office where a weary man worked, shuffling through documents and incessantly typing information into his computer. The second room was a kitchen barely furnished, with a few chairs no one ever elected to sit in accompanied by a refrigerator that creaked every time it opened and shelves lined equally with outdated food and dust.

The third room was the largest by far, the walls lined with couches beaten with age. The flooring was red carpet, trampled on by so many feet that it had already dulled to burgundy. A single chandelier missing nearly all its ornaments hung from the ceiling, the only source of illumination in the room full of stale air. The smell of smoke wafted out and seeped into the floor, the walls, and the furniture. The windows were masked by heavy, off-white drapery that featured moth-eaten holes and the occasional splotch of dusty gray.

Masaki was lounging on one couch alone, scrolling through something on his cellphone as he kept one eye peeled on the door. As this was the height of business hour, the room was mostly deserted; a boy younger than Hikaru was perched on a corner sofa, knees held close to a thin chest as he stared out at the room with haunted eyes. A couple of high school-aged girls were on the far left, huddled together and giggling intermittently despite the otherwise silent room.

"Damn," Masaki sneered, pulling his gaze away from his phone as his eyes landed on Hikaru - or, more precisely, on the bruise stained across his cheek. "He really did fuck you up."

One of the girls tittered, leaning forward sedately as she gave Hikaru a grin full of teeth. A broken pair of heels lay at her bare feet, and she had that glazed look to her eyes that signified she wasn't all there anymore. "We're _always _fucked," she giggled openly and unashamedly, throwing her arms open as if to motion to a crowd of people that should have been present. Hikaru knew that if he drew close enough, he'd be able to see the needle marks on her arms.

"Shut up, bitch, no one was talking to you," Masaki cut back with a dark look. The girl just giggled again, leaning back into her friend's embrace to smile blearily at the ceiling. Masaki hopped to his feet, stalking towards Hikaru once the younger boy drew to a stop in the center of the room. "Let me see the rest," Masaki ordered.

Hikaru pulled off his shirt with only brief hesitation. Static caused by the fabric sliding over and off his skin drew strands of hair to cling to his face, which he brushed off in slight irritation. He'd divested himself of the bandages before leaving Sai's place, not wanting his movements to be hindered as he returned to The Gate. The scratches had scabbed over and thinned by this point, while the bruises had lightened to a dark tan, and the bite marks were no longer indents in his skin but noticeable impressions. Masaki's eyes criticized each mark with a professional's precision, moving Hikaru this way and that for a better view.

The boy on the couch started crying, and Hikaru realized he was sporting similar marks - only his were far more severe, if the sodden bandages wrapped around his thin arms were any indication.

"Shut the fuck up, Sora!" Masaki snapped. The young boy slapped his hands over his mouth in an attempt to stifle the sound, cutting off his cries but unable to cease his trembling. Hikaru looked away from the sight just as Masaki glared down at him.

"You didn't say anything about Yamaguchi having a friend." The tone was flat, not quite accusative - but it didn't need to be.

Hikaru's heart thudded painfully in his chest. "I'm not Caramel," he retorted softly. He'd repeat it until his tongue fell off, if he had to; there was no way he was going to risk ascension.

Masaki snorted, throwing Hikaru back his shirt and watching with hard eyes as the younger boy pulled it back on. If Hikaru ever had to describe Masaki's eyes, the only description he felt was applicable would be 'cold'; everything about the older boy was so impossibly jaded that sometimes, it made even Hikaru doubt his own humanity. He knew he was nothing more than merchandise to Masaki, and slowly, he was starting to feel like that was all he was - even to himself.

"How much did he pay you?" Masaki asked.

"Forty thousand," Hikaru answered.

Masaki stared at him for a moment - a look Hikaru evenly matched - before sighing. Then he punched Hikaru straight on his bruised cheek.

Hikaru's small cry of pain was nothing compared to the short scream Sora let out. Masaki didn't even glance at the child, furious eyes reserved for the boy before him. "_You fuckin' slut_," he growled, grabbing Hikaru by the fringe of his hair and backhanding him hard enough to send him to the ground. "Don't you fuckin' lie to me! How much did they pay you?"

"_I said 40 thousand, you sonuvabitch!" _Hikaru spat out, head ringing from the pain. Masaki kicked him in the side, sending him sprawling over the ground with another small cry. The girls on the sofa were guffawing, near-hyperventilating in their states and creating a horrible cacophony timed with Sora's desperate attempts to stop his own sobbing.

"If I have to ask you one more time, you can join Sora in _Toffee_. This type of fuckery is considered _amateurish _to them," Masaki warned in a low voice. "By the time they're done with you, you won't even care about the money."

Hikaru huddled on his side, drawing his arms over his stomach in a defensive posture. He tried to regulate his breathing, pain shooting throughout his body as he tasted blood in his mouth from when he'd bitten his cheek at Masaki's last kick. With measured breaths, he responded in as even a voice as he could, "Sixty thousand. I only brought 30 thousand with me, though."

"Of course," Masaki scoffed with a roll of his eyes. He didn't wait for Hikaru to respond, bending down and going through his pockets after knocking away Hikaru's hands. He pulled the notes from his pocket, counting them deftly.

"You owe me 15 thousand," Masaki stated. "And don't start, you fucker - I added another two thousand for having the fuckin' gall to lie to my face."

The older boy returned to his seat on the couch, flipping open his phone and jotting down a quick text. "I'm dropping Yamaguchi from your customer list. I'll find you a new one once you've recovered."

"Wonderful," Hikaru drawled, still curled up on the floor.

"Stay put. I don't need you gallivanting around town in your state," Masaki ordered curtly, shutting his phone. He glanced over at the pair of girls who had gone suspiciously quiet; one girl was smiling into the air without care, but the other had slid half off the couch, body limp. "Ayako - is your friend alive?"

'Ayako' snickered.

"Fuckin' great," Masaki grumbled. He didn't look too worried, though; he could see the prone girl was still breathing, so getting rid of the body wasn't a concern at the moment. "Get off the floor, you idiot!" he snapped at Hikaru.

"Yessir," Hikaru mumbled dryly, slowly picking himself up. Just as he regained his footing, the door to the room opened; admitting a pouting boy with stylishly-tousled chestnut-colored hair leading in a tolerant Amekura.

"Amekura-san?" Hikaru blinked owlishly.

"Itsuka-kun!" Amekura greeted, smile wide and sounding relieved. He moved over to the boy as the male who lead him in sauntered over to Masaki, whispering something into the teen's ear with a glance in Amekura's direction.

"Masaki-kun told me you were hurt," Amekura said, tilting Hikaru's head up to take a better look at the injuries. "How terrible; these look very painful."

Hikaru couldn't exactly look away with the way his head was angled, but he did think he managed a convincingly demure look. "I'll be okay... Sorry for not getting back to you, though, Amekura-san."

"Not at all!" Amekura waved off cheerfully. "Nothing's more important than your health, Itsuka-kun!"

Masaki - who Amekura had his back to - rolled his eyes. The boy next to him just looked mildly intrigued, brown eyes glancing between Hikaru and Amekura as if trying to discern the puzzle. He leant back down to whisper more into Masaki's ear, expression gradually becoming more agitated with every softly-spoken word. Masaki's own expression became more contemplative, dark eyes switching back over to Amekura with frightening intensity.

Hikaru refocused back on the man, managing a wan smile. "Thank you for your understanding. I think I should go, though - I'm getting kind of tired..."

"Of course, of course," Amekura agreed amiably. "Did you want a ride, Itsuka-kun? I can even buy you dinner on the way."

Hikaru shook his head, "It's fine. I just really want to rest-"

Amekura gently gripped Hikaru's arms, making sure he held the boy's eyes, his face serious and lacking its customary smile. With unusual solemnity, he hugged Hikaru, murmuring into his ear with what he thought must have been a comforting voice, "Itsuka-kun, I'll take care of you. Don't worry - I'll take care of everything."

The cellphone in Hikaru's pocket vibrated silently. It went ignored as Hikaru caught sight of Masaki and the other boy trading knowing looks, Amekura withdrawing far enough to give the boy in his grasp a comforting smile. The phone fell still, the brightened screen of its scratched surface reading '_Sai - 32 Missed Calls_'.

* * *

"You've been on that thing every chance you get."

Sai didn't react to the accusatory tone in the voice, instead all of his attention devoted to the cellphone clasped in his hands. Ogata scowled at the lack of reply, fingers twitching in desire for another cigarette but wisely not giving in to the urge. Other players milled up and down the corridors of the Go Institute, giving the pair the occasional glance as they passed. Many would have likely approached to greet Sai - but since the man was clearly so focused on his phone and looking as dangerous as anybody had ever seen him, few dared to go near.

Sai couldn't have cared less. He'd probably be suffering the repercussions of his abrasive attitude for this day for awhile, but as far as he was concerned, that meant little with Hikaru being god-knows-where doing who-knows-what. The thank-you note left on his dining room table - only with the simple phrase jotted down in messy script - had sucked all the warmth out of the room the moment Sai had seen it. He'd left their dinner - phad thai picked up from the Thai place five blocks from his apartment - forgotten on the table as he dialed and re-dialed Hikaru's phone number. He hadn't given up, even 35, 40 calls later; but he hadn't gotten one single answer.

He'd taken off the moment he got Hikaru's inbox for the 42nd time, roaming around the streets of Shinjuku where he first encountered Hikaru. Roaming the streets at all hours of the night wasn't beneficial to his health, and Sai had been forced to give up when dawn broke over the horizon and bathed the near-empty streets in warm yellow.

He'd returned home and took a quick shower, practically collapsing into his bed after making another five calls to Hikaru. (Surely the boy would pick up if Sai kept harassing him, if only to get him to stop, right?) He'd gotten only about three hours of sleep in before his phone shrilled at him. He had been disappointed to hear an irritated Ogata on the other end, but roused himself from bed; as the Meijin, he did need to make an appearance at the Go Pro Exams, especially since this was the last day.

To Sai's sleep-deprived, sick-with-worry mental state, he thought his presence was unnecessary and the whole affair rather ridiculous. Everyone knew who would ascend into the Pro Rankings: Touya Akira (undefeated), Mashiba Tohru (lost one game), and Makino Ayase (lost two games). But Sai had a job to do, no matter how worried he was; he intended to try and get into contact with Hikaru as often as possible anyway.

Ogata grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "Thought you said you didn't have a woman," but Sai wasn't paying his friend any attention. The frown on his face only increased as his fifty-seventh call got voicemail again, and all sixteen text messages remain unanswered.

"_Ah_ - Fujiwara-sensei, Ogata-sensei!"

Clearly Amano couldn't accurately read the atmosphere. Curious, for a reporter - you'd think the way other pros scurried away from the pair would have clued him in to the fact that the Meijin and Ogata 9th-dan weren't exactly keen for conversation. The strangled look on the young intern at Amano's side showed he was not as oblivious as his superior.

"Amano-san," Ogata drawled in greeting.

Amano just seemed pleasantly curious. "Just as predicted, Touya Akira-kun breezed through the Pro Exams with a spotless record. Did you get to watch the game?"

The _look _Ogata gave the reporter was just _this _side of condescending. Sai managed to divorce himself just long enough from his phone to shoot Amano a wan smile, eyes slightly bloodshot from his lack of sleep but looking overall as collected as usual. "We did; he was very impressive. I look forward to seeing his Shin Shodan game."

Amano broke out the notepad at this time, eyes so riveted on Sai that he completely missed the stormy look beginning to develop on Ogata's face. The intern winced and backed away a step, going unnoticed by the reporter.

"We're all very interested in the Shin Shodan games," Amano nodded good-naturedly. "I even hear you will be the one Touya Akira-kun faces?"

"Time will tell," Sai answered absently, violet eyes back to his phone as he painstakingly typed out his nineteenth text message.

"Ah, Touya-kun is out," the intern pointed out meekly.

Sure enough, a small group emerged from the exam room and into the corridor, Akira at the very center and looking the picture of refinement and humility. Amano bid the two older pros a goodbye as he took off in the direction of the new pro, seemingly blissfully ignorant of the simmering 9th-dan and obtuse Meijin left in his wake.

"I thought he was going to kill us," the intern murmured weakly, just out of earshot of the hawk-eyed Ogata.

Amano gave the younger man an amused look, "That's just Ogata-sensei's usual attitude. Best toughen up or they'll eat you alive."

Wasn't Go supposed to be _safe_?

* * *

Shuffling into homeroom after nearly three days of absence earned him nothing more than a few curious gazes from his classmates, but as usual, Hikaru ignored them as he slouched into his seat - and likewise, they went back to pretending he wasn't even there. There was no one to reassure or explain his absence to, to Hikaru's consolation; so long as he didn't make himself noticeable in school, he could pretty much pass through the day unharassed.

His homeroom teacher was giving him that contemplative look, as if wondering if he should bother talking to Hikaru about his frequent absences. Personally, Hikaru didn't know why the man even tried; Hikaru rarely ever went to see him after class, even if he had been ordered to. There was no point to these attempts at counseling: the teacher was not invested enough in Hikaru to intrude on his privacy, especially as the boy had been branded a delinquent after ditching class for nearly a week straight. (That had been after he was first introduced to Yamaguchi; the first time with the man had been terrible. Masaki had to visit Hikaru's home and rough him up a bit to get him back on his feet.)

Lecture started without much notice. Hikaru stared at the top of his desk - what a blessing it would be to actually have a window seat instead of always getting stuck in the middle! - as the teacher continued on a lesson about world history. Hikaru had his textbook opened in front of him but didn't pay it any attention, absently adjusting the cuffs of his uniform.

He had been forced to stay over at Amekura's last night, unable to deny a customer's request but unwilling to divulge to the man his home address. Fortunately, he had a spare uniform over at Amekura's (How did that even get there?) so it wasn't much of an inconvenience.

Amekura had been just as obsessed with treating his injuries as Sai had been. But where Sai had broken at the sight and tried to heal with terribly shaking hands, Amekura looked over each fading and healing wound with clinical professionalism, applying disinfectant if necessary or a band-aid to some of the newer scabs. Amekura chatted lightly about everything and nothing, managing to sound soothing while fingers danced and prodded into Hikaru's flesh.

It made Hikaru ill. The professionalism and gentleness may seem easier and convenient - but it was as false as the smiles Hikaru wore. Amekura did not show weakness; he controlled Hikaru as quietly and softly as he possibly could, eyes dark with intent and fingers working with purpose. That, perhaps more than anything else, really made Sai different from what Hikaru was used to - the man was so honest, even if that meant breaking down and showing weakness in front of someone used to taking advantage of such displays.

Hikaru felt along the swollen flesh of his cheek, careful not to apply any unnecessary pressure. It didn't hurt - much - but it still stung if prodded. He wondered how much of it was his fault; if he had been more like Chikara, perhaps he'd have gotten away from that damned hotel room with only a few marks to show for it and with Masaki none-the-wiser.

Satomi always did say he was too feisty for his own good. And if Hikaru was going to be honest with himself (he rarely was), it had felt really good to smack that sadistic bastard right in the face. Yamaguchi's friend had been only too happy to tell their 'toy' all about the other boys he'd had; some like Hikaru, others not.

If it had been Masaki to hear those stories, he would have scoffed and not given it another thought. Satomi would have shrugged it off, unconcerned with things beyond her scope. Chikara would have given one of those small, serene smiles that Hikaru tried over and over to emulate, brushing off the man's disgusting tales, citing why should it matter to him. What did it matter that the man had taken advantage children barely old enough to walk alone back from cram school, had ignored their pleas, had reveled in their cries and screams? What did it matter that they weren't saved, that more weren't going to be saved?

"_Because no one is going to save you,"_ Chikara had told him once. Hikaru had been sitting on one of the tattered sofas in The Gate, staring at a girl no older than ten. Her skin was so pale it seemed almost porcelain, eyes screwed shut and tiny body shivering uncontrollably. Her thin arms rested at her sides, bared open to expose the myriad of needle marks running along her flesh. She was not shivering from the cold.

Chikara was resting on the same sofa as Hikaru, posture languid. He was watching the same girl Hikaru was, lips quirked up in a strange little smile that was at odds with the atmosphere of the room. _"No one is going to save you - so why bother saving others?"_

Hikaru didn't have any illusions of grandeur or salvation. He had not struck out at Yamaguchi's friend for his crimes, past or future; he had struck out because for just one moment, Hikaru wanted to know what it felt like to not be helpless. To draw blood, to let someone know that he didn't want this, that he hated them - with every breath, with every drop of sweat and blood, _he hated them_.

_But what else can I do? _Hikaru mused. _Young and helpless, weak and stupid - what else can I do?_

"Shindou. Come see me after classes finish today," his homeroom teacher stated, standing right in front of his desk. Hikaru started, eyes wide at just realizing lecture had been over for well over a minute now. Some of his classmates who remained in the classroom glanced over but quickly looked away, uninterested in their teacher's latest attempt at trying to reign in Class 1-B's delinquent.

Hikaru smothered a rueful smirk. The last time an adult had stood this close to him, he'd been trying to-

_Best not think about that during class_, Hikaru cut his train of thought off abruptly. After giving Ishino-sensei something that sounded like an acquiescence, the teacher didn't bother harassing him as their math teacher entered the room.

It was a pity; he'd actually intended on pitching in for the after-school clean-up today, but it looked like he'd have to ditch as soon as lunch rolled around. There was no way he was going to play along in his teacher's monthly attempts at intervention.

Hikaru gathered up his things as soon as their lunch hour kicked off, ignoring the huffily exasperated look the Class President was giving him; everyone knew Hikaru had no intention of sticking around so why bother trying to sneak out? His eyes caught on something posted to the school bulletain board as he walked through the corridors, latching on to the play of white and black circles atop a familiar grid.

_God - I never really do escape you, do I, Sai-san?_ Hikaru thought in exasperation. (Was this some kind of sign that he should start replying to Sai's calls?) Hikaru stared at the _tsumego_ problem mutely, subconsciously moving forward to get a better look at it. The problem itself looked familiar - perhaps it had been in one of the _tsumego_ workbooks Sai had gotten him.

"_Hey_ - what are you trying to do?"

Hikaru stopped abruptly, brought to a halt at the accusatory tone. A taller figure stepped in between Hikaru and the object of his attention - although he could still see it over the other boy's shoulder. The other male was about a head taller than Hikaru, with heavy bangs and eyes as dark as his hair. He had square-framed glasses that seemed to dominate the majority of his face, and although there was a rigid authority to his posture, he wasn't nearly as confident as he was pretending to be. The way his eyes seemed to widen at the bruise marring Hikaru's face didn't sit well with the blond-banged boy.

"What the hell is your problem?" Hikaru asked, honestly curious. As far as he could tell, he actually hadn't been doing anything that should concern an upperclassman.

"You do not talk that way to your senpai," the older boy chastised, looking equal parts angry and indignant. Hikaru's lips ticked down in annoyance but he remained quiet as the other boy continued speaking. "And don't act innocent! You're the one that's been drawing those horrible pictures all over our club's advertisements, aren't you?"

Hikaru rose an eyebrow, "Club?"

"The Go Club!" the older boy snapped. "I'm the President! We're very serious about recruiting members, and your crude drawings are insulting!"

_Haze has a Go Club? _Hikaru wondered in shock. "What the hell do you do in a _Go_ club?" Hikaru wondered, not realizing he had said that part aloud. The very idea of just playing Go after school was so strange that Hikaru was honestly stumped by it. Any time that wasn't spent at school or at 'work' was used to recover from whatever abuses he'd suffered under. No wonder it was so hard to connect with his classmates; they were obviously too busy playing around or studying to even think about how much money was spent just buying the goddamn school uniform, tuition, or food they ate.

The sincere question set the older boy off, "We do a lot!"

"Can you stop with the hostility? I didn't draw anything; you've got the wrong guy," Hikaru cut in abruptly. The bespectacled boy seemed honestly surprised at the interruption and at the denial. Did he actually think that the real culprit would even admit to it? Hikaru tried not to roll his eyes at the naivete. "I was just looking at the problem, so back off already."

The look he received was neither apologetic nor even doubtful. "There's no point in lying. Someone like you wouldn't understand something as beautiful and complex as Go."

The way the older boy said it - like he was so certain, like it was unalienable truth - twisted something in Hikaru's chest. Hikaru ground his teeth, for some reason undeniably furious. _Someone like him? _Like he was something less than the boy who stood before him, who hadn't even noticed the reaction his words had wrought and continued on in his indignant rant?

What was wrong with someone like him? There was nothing wrong with Hikaru! What had he done that was so wrong? He was trying to survive - to the best of his abilities, against the odds. He stumbled over the obstacles in his life but he tried to overcome them the best he could; he'd done a lot more, he'd paid a whole lot more in blood and sweat to be able to stand in this hallway in this uniform than the boy before him could even begin to fathom.

Furious eyes caught back on the black and white of a world that Hikaru could still only glimpse. The other boy was right; Hikaru may not understand everything about the beautiful world that Sai was a part of - but he was learning. What used to be silly little pebbles that he'd held uncertainly, wondering when the man on the other side of the board would cease his charades and finally hurt him like all the others - now he could see them as pieces to something so much larger, so much more interesting.

Go was a world to its own, a world shaped by those who played it. Whether it became beautiful, or strangled, or calmly alluring - these were crafted by the hands played, by the minds behind those who wielded the stones. There, Hikaru could escape - even if he fumbled, unsure of his own steps, he still learned. It didn't matter how much his body hurt, or how hard it was to bite back the screams, or how tired he felt waking up day after day to restart the vicious cycle. Hikaru could fight and stagger across the goban, could make mistake after mistake that wouldn't leave marks on his flesh, didn't have to worry about the repercussions should he win or lose.

Go was the only battle Hikaru could conceivably win.

Hikaru fished a pen out of his bag as the upperclassman continued on about taking school codes seriously. He uncapped it, frowning a little at the waste, but Hikaru was too hard-wired at the moment to really care.

"And I _will _find out which class you belong to-"

_Thok!_

Hikaru didn't bother to restrain his smile at the wide-eyed, terrified expression that bloomed across his senpai's face. He released his grip on the pen, leaving it stabbed into the bulletain board as he withdrew his arm from over the boy's shoulder slowly, trailing fingers over the collar of the uniform and briefly entertaining the fantasy of strangling the older boy.

"2-1," Hikaru stated calmly. "Problem solved, senpai."

Hikaru pivoted, striding off without a backwards glance.

Tsutsui Kimihiro did not call out after him, trembling lightly as he backed up a step in a delayed reaction to the sheer _anger_ he had seen in those green eyes. He bumped into the butt of the pen, prompting him to turn around with a wince.

It takes a moment for Tsutsui to understand what he's seeing. His eyes focus on the spot on the poster where the pen was stabbed a quarter of the way in, left by a boy who couldn't have done more than glance over it for less than a minute before he'd been interrupted.

_2-1_. The hand that solved the advanced tsumego problem Tsutsui had printed on the flier.

* * *

Sai had been moving on autopilot for the entire day. Those who knew him well could tell there was something mechanical in his gestures and speech but said nothing about it; Ogata had bit back his concern, even as Sai congratulated Akira on his ascension into the pros.

Sai did not stick around long enough at the Institute to meet the former Meijin, leaving Ogata to deal with the reporters who wanted the current Meijin's opinion on those who had passed the Pro Exams. Sai could give his opinions later, hopefully on a day where he didn't feel like collapsing from exhaustion, sick with worry and all of his attention attached to his phone.

He'd stopped calling Hikaru during what should have been the boy's class time, but he remembered enough from the coma-verse to know when lunch was for junior high students. He had honestly thought about going home early, perhaps to scout around Haze Junior High, but Ogata had shot down that idea by practically acting as a living chain.

Now, late into the evening, he returned home with heavy footsteps. Not one single call or message from Hikaru. For all Sai knew, the boy could be out getting hurt all over again. What would it take to get the boy to trust him? How much longer did Sai have to stand at the sidelines and watch Hikaru get ripped apart over and over again?

Sai's fists clenched at his sides as he climbed the last step up to his floor, the night air chilly but not the reason for the shiver that swept down his spine. As an adult - a man who clawed his way up the Go ranks through hard work and dedication - he hadn't felt helpless in a very long time. After his mother took her own life, he'd vowed to live independently; to not overtly-rely on the money and connections his father boasted that ultimately cost Sai his mother.

He'd taken Go classes for a long while, but he didn't start to take it seriously until his uncle - the younger brother of his late mother - offered to take him in while Sai refused to speak to his father after his mother's funeral. The man had claimed 5th-dan rank before retiring at his wife's request, settling for starting several small business that ranged from a cozy cafe to selling antiques. It was lucrative, but the man had a passion for Go that he bred into Sai with every lesson.

Sai had picked up Go at a speed unimaginable, eventually surpassing his uncle-turned-mentor. His entire world was focused on the goban, on the play of white and black, on weaving a universe out of stones and wood and clever hands.

But Hikaru wasn't suffering in the world of Go. He was suffering in the world outside of it, a world Sai had become disconnected to.

"Cold tonight, isn't it?"

Sai stumbled, barely catching himself on the railing. Violet eyes were wide in shock as they rose to address the source of the comment, disbelief warring with hope over his face as his heart stuttered over as the breath caught in his throat.

Hikaru stood leaning against Sai's door, smiling pleasantly. The bruise on his face had darkened - a new one? - but he wore a different clothes: a short-sleeved white shirt with nonsensical English words in colorful, blocky font, a dark pair of blue jeans, and sky-blue high-top shoes. He'd look like any normal 12-year-old, if not for the bruises on his face and the wariness in his eyes.

For a long moment, they just stared at each other. Hikaru looked like he was waiting for Sai to say something - to scold him, to smother him, he wasn't quite sure himself. As it was, though, Sai steeled himself and moved forward. Hikaru froze in anticipation but Sai only unlocked the front door.

"Please come in," Sai instructed softly.

Hikaru was always unable to say no.

* * *

Sai had entered the kitchenette without a word, setting the tea to boil before pulling out a mug. Hikaru watched him quietly, shutting the door behind him and taking off his shoes. He stepped further into the far-too-familiar apartment, unsure what to do with himself as Sai began to pour milk into one mug, putting it into the microwave to heat up.

"I bought some choco powder," Sai began evenly. The tone was neither cheerful or displeased; just a bland statement of fact. "You're fine with hot chocolate, right?"

"Sounds great," Hikaru deferred.

The boy took a seat at the dining table at Sai's motion, watching carefully as Sai set about making said hot chocolate. After setting the proffered treat in front of Hikaru, he made a hot cup of tea for himself then took the seat adjacent to his visitor.

"I'm sorry I didn't reply to any of your calls or messages," Hikaru caved, perturbed by the taut silence that had fallen between them. He had his hands wrapped around the warm mug of hot choco but had yet to take a single sip.

Sai didn't reply, face devoid of emotion as his eyes remained on the boy's cup. The silence between them stretched long enough to cause Hikaru to fidget, sparking a sense of nostalgia in Sai. So much energy - Hikaru had been full of it, unrestrained and excitable. It was - _nice_, to see that that energy hadn't been beaten entirely out of the boy before him.

"I was worried about you," Sai began softly.

Hikaru's shoulders relaxed slightly. _This_ he could deal with; he'd heard the same from Amekura. Comforting phrases were easy to parry and without much thought, he slipped into his role of 'Itsuka'; a wide, guileless smile broke across Hikaru's face.

"I didn't mean to leave so abruptly but I had some business to take care of," Hikaru replied cheerfully. "I would have come over sooner but I can't always be skipping school, you know? Even if it is to spend time with you, Sai-san!"

Hikaru laughed, hoping it didn't sound as fake as it really was. Sai gave no notice, staring into the cup still clutched in Hikaru's hands. Hikaru paused, wondering if he'd screwed up - was it rude to have not taken a sip yet? Hikaru had been hoping Sai wouldn't notice; he actually didn't care much for chocolate but there was no way he was going to tell that to the other man. Hurriedly, he took a long sip, making sure to force a pleased expression on his face as the thick, sweet cocoa was swallowed down his throat.

Sai watched him with hooded eyes. Hikaru kept up his happy smile - he'd practiced it in the mirror almost every day so he knew it was flawless - but for some reason, Sai still didn't look pleased. With a small sigh, the Go pro let his eyes drop from Hikaru's face to the tabletop.

Hikaru was being thrown for a loop. How was he failing? Sai had never been hard to please - so why did he still look so damn depressed? Before Hikaru could make another comment, Sai spoke.

"I was worried about you," he repeated again, just as calm and softly as the first time.

Hikaru's lips involuntary twisted down into a brief frown. Sai wasn't responding the way Hikaru had thought he would and it was throwing a serious wrench into the machinations of what should have been a fairly standard business apology. If Sai noticed Hikaru's brief flash of displeasure, he didn't comment on it, instead taking a short sip of tea.

Sai put his cup back down gently, eyes still locked onto Hikaru's hands, wrapped around the base of the cup as if it were a lifeline. "But even if I say that, you don't believe it, do you?"

Hikaru froze.

For a long time, neither said anything. Sai continued to drink his tea, calmly awaiting a reply that Hikaru was too scared to make. Sai had broken the polite pattern of business and Hikaru does not know how to continue. He cannot guess what the man is trying to get at, cannot understand what his customer would appreciate more in this circumstance: the truth or a denial of it.

Hikaru thinks of Yamaguchi and his friend; the first to break pattern, and their crimes and arrogance, secure in the fact that nothing could touch them. He thinks of Kousaka, who gives Hikaru his first taste of alcohol and discards him as easily as used tissue paper. He thinks of Amekura, thinks of the man's soft hands and gentle touch and how much he hates him.

Then he thinks of Sai, who is so scared of touching him that even the slightest contact panics him, who cries more in the few days Hikaru stays with him than Hikaru himself has ever cried before. He thinks of Go, of the war raged with stones on wood, of standing up to the upperclassman who dismissed him on sight because of dyed hair and bruised flesh.

There are a thousand things Hikaru could say to diffuse the situation. Masaki taught him how to lie with his gestures, Satomi taught him how to lie with his words, and Chikara taught him how to lie with his smile; Hikaru is nothing if not capable of lying his way into people's good graces.

The truth has never been an option before.

"No," Hikaru allows finally. He says it with a certainty he does not feel but knows it is the truth regardless. "I don't believe it at all."

The statement hangs between them, bared for what its worth. It is the most honest Hikaru has ever been and he does not know what to expect next. He looks up into Sai's face but the man's expression is closed off. Violet eyes are dark with some unnamed emotion and he looks far more tired than Hikaru had first seen.

Sai stands without a word and moves down the hallway towards his bedroom. Hikaru does not watch him go, eyes refocusing on to the two mostly-full mugs that remain on the table. The smell of chocolate and tea mingle in the air, pleasant in a way that Hikaru is surprised by. He wonders if this is what that upperclassman experiences whenever he returns home: sweet tastes without cost, warmth without pain, only thinking about the Go games he played earlier or the homework assignments he needed to finish.

Hikaru counts both time and expenses in terms of what he has suffered for them. He'd put on his favorite outfit for Sai; the shoes alone had cost him one long, ruthless night under Kousaka's hands. Hikaru does not remember the man that bought him the jeans, but he does remember crying the morning after, sitting curled up in an empty bathtub but too frightened to turn the water on. The shirt was a gift from Amekura, courtesy of a lie about passing his history test.

Hikaru spent a moment ruminating over the fact that whoever played Go that entered his life never seemed to stick around for long. _Must be some kind of curse_, he thought.

He rose to his feet. Losing two clients within the span of a week must be a new record, and Hikaru wondered how badly his rating will be when this is all over. He bit back a grimace when he realizes he must return back to the apartment his mother owns, as he would only take up room in the Gate and the others are not fond of loitering.

"Please don't leave."

Hikaru has managed only a step before he is interrupted. He cannot quite believe his own eyes and ears, but Sai has no such hesitancy; he breaches the light of the living area where Hikaru was sure he had been discarded. Eyebrows furrowed in concern, Sai stands between Hikaru and the entryway. He does not breach Hikaru's personal space, as careful as he is with his own movements.

Sai holds out one hand towards Hikaru, who only just realizes the Go player is holding something. Small and metallic, it rests in Sai's proffered hand like it wasn't shattering every expectation Hikaru had.

"The key to my apartment," Sai stated. "It's for you. You're free to come and go, eat any of the food, and use any of the amenities. I-I want you to treat this place as your home."

Hikaru stared at the key uncomprehendingly. Then he smacked it out of Sai's hands.

Sai's eyes widened, taken aback. "Wha-"

"What am I to you?"

Hikaru's tone was even and sharp as sleeting ice, intended to draw blood and raise Sai's hackles. _This _was what Sai had seen in Hikaru's eyes, hidden behind the lure and the dreams; something so damaged and twisted that it made him falter. Hikaru's eyes were narrowed, losing their warm facade in favor of the calculating glint that his dream counterpart had only ever had when placing his opponent in _atari_.

"Am I some kind of morality pet to you? Some pathetic thing to save?" Hikaru continued on. He did not sound angry, but that did not mean he wasn't; each comment was meant to cut. "Do you fancy yourself a hero?"

The contempt was clear and it ripped at Sai's heart to hear it. Hikaru had never hated him; even when they had first met in the dreamverse, even after he'd more or less forced Hikaru into learning Go. But that was hate in Hikaru's eyes now, and it was Sai he was looking at.

"I would never be so presumptuous," Sai began gently, calm in the face of Hikaru's rage. "As to believe I can save anyone."

Hikaru's teeth grit at what he believed to be such an obvious lie. Sai did not give him enough time to speak, though, continuing just as softly, just as certain, "I only want to help you. That is all I want to do."

Hikaru couldn't help it - he chuckled. That chuckle turned into a full-blown laugh, arms crossing over his midsection as he continued in his slight hysteria. Sai did not move, did not speak; he only watched the boy with that same sincere, patient expression.

Sai was so _funny_. No wonder Hikaru liked him as much as he could ever like a client; the man was hilarious. So ridiculous, so unreal - his very existence was as much of a shock as Hikaru's. More laughter bubbled up the boy's throat, only he did not bother reigning it in.

Help. The last time Hikaru had been _helped_, he'd been given a scheduled meeting with Masaki. _Any more help and I probably won't last_, Hikaru thought with mirth. His laughter died down but the wide, hysterical grin on his lips and slightly-unhinged look to his eyes must have been quite the sight. Sai stiffened near-imperceptibly yet, admirably, he kept his stance.

Hikaru tackled him to the floor.

Whatever Sai had been expecting, it clearly hadn't been full-on assault. The man went down unhindered and with a small shriek, landing with a painful thud on his back. Hikaru didn't wait for him to regain his senses, crawling over his adult counterpart's body, hands pinned to either side of Sai's head. Violet eyes stared up into his own pair in dazed surprise.

"Helping someone implies there's something there worth assisting," Hikaru said, leaning closer. "Sai-san, _I am worth only as much as I'm paid_."

Hikaru descended just far enough to place his lips over the man's. The contact was brief and dry, but from the way Sai froze completely beneath him, Hikaru had obviously pushed him too far.

Hikaru could only work within his paradigm. Sexual acts for money, necessities paid for with flesh and tears; that was how Hikaru was used to the world working. He was not given aid, nor care - because for some reason or another, he did not deserve that. He could do very little but he did whatever he could to survive. It was not about pride, and somewhere along the way, it was not even about living; it was about getting by day-to-day. For Hikaru, everything from the mundane to the momentous has been a struggle.

Hikaru pulled back. He was not surprised to find tears sliding down Sai's face, free-flowing and unabashed.

"You," Sai's voice wavered and broke, a fresh sob escaping before he could choke it back down. Hikaru can think of a thousand different insults and backlashes that could pour forth from Sai's lips, and knows the man is strong enough to speak them. Sai continues to tremble with the energy it takes to control his despair but Hikaru does not mind waiting to hear his words.

It is the least he can do. Hikaru knows he will be the one to break his own last hope, but some part of him has already accepted that he was beyond help in the first place.

"You," Sai starts again. His voice wavers; his eyes do not. "You are so _brilliant_, so _talented _- and you don't even know it."

He cups Hikaru's cheek in his hand. It is the first time Sai has ever willingly touched him and it freezes Hikaru completely. Disbelievingly, he can only stare at the older male. Tears continue to trail down Sai's face but his touch is gentle and firm.

"_Please_," Sai whispers, so softly it is nearly lost to the silence in the apartment. "Let me help you."

Hikaru almost wants to laugh again, but instead of hysteria it is tears that escape. Unlike Sai, Hikaru is shocked by this; his arms lock in place as he watches a few drop onto Sai's face. The older man does not move to wipe them away, nor to withdraw his own hand still holding Hikaru's cheek. The tears are so startling because after Hikaru had truly become 'Itsuka', he did not have time for tears.

Hikaru thinks about being trapped in that hotel room with Yamaguchi and his friend. He thinks about what it meant, to so vehemently not want something and yet be unable to voice the dissent. He thinks he knows what it means to be _Itsuka_, because it is synonymous with helplessness.

Hikaru recalls his first meeting with Kousaka. Tasting alcohol in his breath, pinned against the wall of a park's public restroom late at night, heart thudding so painfully in his chest that he worries it may just burst. It is rough and shameless and without remorse, and _Itsuka _becomes equivalent to pain for profit.

Hikaru is reminded of the first time he hears Amekura play the piano. It is the first thing ever done solely for him, and he burns the memory into his mind almost desperately. The song was smooth and beautiful and so terribly sad. Hikaru does not cry because he cannot hope to understand, but he wonders what it means to be Itsuka when the only intangible gift he ever receives is fleeting and haunting.

Hikaru remembers what it felt like to regain consciousness in a room he didn't recognize, body alight with pain and feeling so filthy that it brought tears to already stung eyes. He remembers waking to the sight of Masaki slouched in the adjacent armchair, taking a slow drag from his cigarette as their eyes met. Disgust and regret and terror - Hikaru had felt them all in brief flashes before they were swallowed by the growing numbness. Masaki had stared at him for the longest moment before a wide smirk broke across his lips, _"Not bad, Itsuka."_

There is nothing in him worth saving. Itsuka is weak and helpless, accustomed only to receiving pain and living for profit. He is mangled and twisted beyond form, charred beyond use and discarded almost immediately after. He is disgusting because if he wasn't, he wouldn't be suffering as he was now. The possibility that he had fallen to such a dark place for no reason other than that this was the hand life had dealt him was far too pitiful for him to bear. _Itsuka_ is many things - many terrible and pitiful things, because that is what Hikaru needed to become to survive.

But that is not Hikaru.

"I am not Itsuka," Hikaru says faintly. There is strength in his words, vindication he relishes because Hikaru has never been so certain of himself before, so aware of who he was. The tears have stopped, as has the shaking. Sai can only stare up at him, something resembling hope rekindling in those eyes as he waits for the boy to continue.

Hikaru is not helpless, because he drew blood first against Yamaguchi's friend; he is not obsessed with profit, because he does not mind losing if it means he will learn and become better; he is not scared of pain, because he has withstood tortures both physically and mentally that many in his generation could not begin to fathom.

He is not _Itsuka_, because Masaki had christened him with a moniker for the sole purpose of having a means to disassociate himself from it. It was the only mercy Masaki could afford to give.

"I am Hikaru."

* * *

**A/N**: This was a crazy chapter! O.O

You got your glimpse of the Go Club (Tsutsui! _Kaga!_), the first step towards an actual relationship being developed between Sai and Hikaru, your first intro to the Gate, tensions with Ogata rising... Busy, busy!

_Note 1_) **Characters (OC)**: There's going to be a number of them. They'll never be as central as Sai, Hikaru, and most of the canon cast - but they will be important.

_Note 2_) **The "Gate" and Hikaru's Job**: Although this will be further elaborated on as the story goes in, there seems to be a little confusion on the job itself. The "Gate" - the building - _is not a brothel._ It is essentially where any of those involved under Masaki can go for reports or to crash. The job itself is not so high-class as to be called an escort service; it is all arranged via phone or email through Masaki, who sets up appointments and the like.

_Note 3_) **Rankings**: Hikaru's job is ranked by difficulty and services; from Vanilla, to Caramel, to Toffee, to Choco, and then to Espresso. I've already introduced Vanilla (the most basic) and Caramel, and now in this chapter you have Toffee. What services are provided in each rank will mostly just be implied, as done with Sora's "sodden bandages," but just know that the 'stronger' the flavor, the more terrible it is.

_Note 4_) **Hikaru vs Itsuka**: _This_ will be a major component of Hikaru's trauma and subsequent rehabilitation. Identity is something sexual assault victims struggle with, and for males, this is an especially stirring issue due to gender roles and stereotypes. It is not going to develop into multiple-personality disorder or anything similar, but the moniker 'Itsuka' represents many things to Hikaru (as seen above), and this identity issue will be heavily addressed as the story progresses.

As always, thank you for dropping reviews! :) They really are great motivation to write more, so don't be shy! If you have any...

_Questions, comments, concrit? Then please..._

___**Kindly drop a review.**_


	4. Seam Ripper

**A/N**: Sorry for the wait! Got busy, then got really distracted with the timeline and story notes for this story. As for the reviewers who had questions, there are some notes at the end of this chapter that hopefully answer them! Thanks, guys~! :) Your concrit is always helpful, so don't be scared to point something out to me! **Y'all are awesome, you know that?** The reviews always make me blush, haha~! _Grazie_ for the great feedback and keep it coming!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own _Hikaru no Go_.

**Pairings**: _!UPDATED! (Feb 2013)_

-OgataSai (_definitely_): It tied in so well to the story and timeline, this is now an expected pairing.

-AkiHika: Slowly being pushed into the _'elements of'_ category. They're going to have a _very strong_ relationship, but given the pacing I want this story to have and where the focus is, Hikaru's romantic relationships may just be hinted at rather than fully detailed.

**Warnings**: Ditto the other chapters. Also, the notes at the end get a bit explicit.

* * *

**Chapter Four**

_Seam Ripper_

* * *

It had been a long time since their last game. Not that Kouyo was exactly counting, nor were they considered weekly events; but Sai used to drop by at least twice a month or whenever he could get away from the crowds always fighting for the Meijin's attention. It was easier for the younger man, as he had never picked up any students but instead opted to visit a high number of Go functions. Not to mention with Ogata shadowing Sai's every move (and now that Akiko had opined subtly that, just perhaps, Kouyo's student wasn't exactly following Sai around _just _because the man was a gifted Go player), getting Sai's undivided attention was a near-impossibility. Even Kouyo had to play against the man with Ogata and Akira hovering around at the side.

It had been nearly two months since their last match so Kouyo could admit that he had really missed his counterpart. Sai's hands were as beautiful and clever as ever - although it was hard to miss how tired the younger male looked. There were slight bags under his eyes as if sleep had been hard to come by for awhile now, and Akiko had been stopping by nonstop with tea as if she could revive the energetic Meijin solely with caffeine.

At the same time, Sai also looked incredibly happy.

He was as reserved and diligent as ever while playing but once the stones had been put away and the game thoroughly discussed, and they'd retired back to the kitchen table - Sai seemed unable to stop checking his cellphone, typing out a message and smiling.

Kouyo had heard rumors about Sai's distracted state outside of games but he'd ignored the gossiping of his students. (They noticeably choked back spreading more rumors whenever Ogata appeared, as there was nothing that could irritate the 9th-dan more than hearing gossip about Sai's "lover.") To see it in action now, however... Well, he'd been about Sai's age when he'd started going through _omiai_. Sometimes it was all too easy to forget that yes, even though Sai was a brilliant Go player the likes of which never encountered - he was also a young man.

"Youth is a wonderful thing, is it not, dear?" Akiko sighed from next to her husband, looking fondly nostalgic and proving to Kouyo once again that she must have some kind of otherwordly sense.

Sai looked up from his latest 'read-text-and-reply-while-grinning' activity in confusion, dark eyes glancing between the two.

Akiko's eyes held a teasing edge, "Ashiwara-san is under the impression you've found yourself a lover-"

"I have _not._"

Had Sai not sounded so _horrified _by the very idea, they could have passed it off as him being shy or irritated by gossip involving him. The pure cutting intent in his tone, the way his eyes narrowed, and the vehemency with which he spoke - these were not normal reactions for Sai. It caused the pair to pause and stare at him a moment longer, letting Sai realize that he'd displayed something off-putting.

"I apologize for my rudeness," Sai relented softly, unable to look them in the eyes.

"Of course not, Sai-san," Akiko demurred. "It was out of line to suggest something of the sort. What you do in your private time is no one's business but your own."

_And probably Ogata-san's_, she added to herself mentally.

Sai still looked vaguely guilty, taking a small sip of tea. His eyes remained on the table, seemingly deep in thought; Kouyo did not bother to speak. Akiko stood, murmuring something about preparing some snacks - did she think they were students? - and leaving the two men alone. Sai let his thoughts wander, in no hurry to break the otherwise amiable silence that settled between him and the older man. He planned on stopping by the library later to do a little more research on abuse cases, then head back home in order to prepare dinner for himself and Hikaru.

_And Hikaru_. Sai let himself savor the thought; Hikaru had told him his real name. He had broken down - surprised by the depths of his own hurt and even moreso that Sai was not - and he had told the man his name. The moment Hikaru's real name passed his lips, Sai had known they had crossed their first hurdle.

The first of many, many hurdles. Now more than ever, Sai would have to be careful. Hikaru had acted as if what he were involved in wasn't hurting him, had convinced himself so thoroughly that what he went through was merely the natural course of life; Sai had disrupted that belief and would now have to prove it inherently wrong. Hikaru could not hide behind 'Itsuka' while in Sai's company any longer - he had to be honest, more honest than he had ever dared.

Sai knew that it was the honesty that scared Hikaru. He could only guess at how long it has been since Hikaru had last spoken as 'Hikaru' and not the front he pulled on customers and classmates alike. Sai had to hear everything from Hikaru: every complaint, every fear, every careless whim and whispered torment. It would come gradually, that level of trust; it would develop through every homework assignment Sai would help Hikaru through, every game of Go they played, every moment they spent together where Sai did not betray the tentative security Hikaru dared himself to feel.

Sai could wait. He _would _wait, because Hikaru deserved that and so much more.

"Have I really seemed so distracted?" Sai asked lightly. He knew he'd been quite rude during the final day of the Pro Exams. He certainly wasn't regretting it, however; that particular series of events had led him to not being as careful as he normally would have been in dealing with the ever-wary Hikaru. He'd been far more blunt than usual, which had eventually resulted in him bludgeoning down the wall Hikaru had so meticulously built up between himself and Sai.

Kouyo seemingly weighed the question, although his face remained impassive. "It has not affected your game," the older man began. Sai knew Kouyo wouldn't have forgiven him if it had. "And you seem happier."

_That _surprised Sai, yet the observation only made a warm smile bloom on his lips. "I am very happy," he agreed.

* * *

Hikaru didn't know why he had bothered to pick up the call. It might just have been out of reflex, it might be because he was once again left alone and bored out of his mind - but neither were very good excuses given who was on the other line. But it wasn't like he could hang up; that would surely earn him more than just a few new bruises.

_"I found you a new customer," _Masaki started casually. He sounded as dispassionate as ever but Hikaru hadn't expected any different. _His _view might have shifted radically recently, but Masaki was still firmly ingrained in the world of dark rooms and late nights. _"New client, but he passed background and has a clean bill of health. Stable job and totally new-"_

"I want out."

The silence that greeted Hikaru's otherwise quiet statement was nerve-wracking. In all the time Hikaru had spent in the service of Masaki, he'd never personally known anyone in the Gate that had just up and left of their own accord. Vanilla-ranked 'employees' usually disappeared eventually if they didn't ascend however, especially given how light their own debts tended to be and how easily they are replaced. Caramels also had the option, although it was a bit harder to disappear as they were more tied in with their clients. For the other ranks, it was nigh-impossible; but for a Vanilla like Hikaru, it shouldn't be that hard.

But he wasn't sure. He was never truly sure, when it came to business with Masaki. Hikaru knew he couldn't just stop answering, as Masaki knew where he lived and had enough eyes and ears on the streets to find Hikaru easily enough anyway. One does not run from Masaki - that was one of the first things Hikaru learned from the Gate.

_"What was that?"_ Masaki's voice was quieter but no less severe.

"I want out," Hikaru repeated, after only a brief moment of hesitation. He clutched the throwpillow on Sai's couch, eyes drifting over to the kifu the Go professional had left out for him to go over and the remains of what Sai's sticky note had assured Hikaru was porridge, even if the substance was disgustingly salty and congealing. "I'm not doing this anymore, Masaki."

_"Because of just one little incident?" _came the biting rejoinder. _"What, are you going to ask dear old mommy for food - oh wait, you can't. She __**hates **__you."_

Hikaru flinched.

_"You plan on starving then?"_ Hikaru could hear the sneer in Masaki's voice._ "Back to the rags and life of petty crime, eh?"_

Hikaru didn't say anything. A long pause elapsed over the line, the only sound the background movement and chatter of people in the Gate from Masaki's side.

_"...But you wouldn't quit just because of what Yamaguchi did, would you?"_

Hikaru winced. He had hoped the older boy would just stick to the Yamaguchi excuse.

_"No, you're not that sensitive. You're more logical than that, even if you are an idiot - __**You little shit**__! Were you __**bought**__?" _Masaki sounded incredulous.

'Bought'. Hikaru knew of it but hadn't fancied the idea himself; he'd only personally known one boy that was bought from the Gate. Ame had been an embittered, pitiless boy who fronted a geeky-cute style that appealed to customers who wanted someone they could 'taint'. Hikaru had only spoken to him a few times before Ame agreed to one of his regular customer's Purchase. He became the sole property of that customer, living expenses and the like all paid for in return for being his customer's 'lover'.

They were just like merchandise, really.

_"You __**were**__. Who was it? It was Amekura, wasn't it?"_ Masaki continued on. _"He hasn't sent me the request yet, though."_

Hikaru's lips twisted down into a contemptuous scowl. As if he'd ever agree to being the sole property of one of his customers. "I haven't been bought. I'm just quitting."

The snort was audible, _"What makes you think this is the kind of job you can quit whenever you like?"_

Hikaru's heart began beating faster. "But I thought Vanilla..." Hikaru trailed off uncertainly.

_"Don't be naive, Itsuka. It doesn't suit you."_

Now Hikaru definitely felt sick. Could he run? Was there a point in doing so? Sai had a stable job as a Go professional; he wouldn't just run because Hikaru asked him to. But there was no point in Hikaru running by himself with nowhere to go. He'd only fall back into the role of Itsuka. He was too weak to resist Masaki, too stupid to find another way...

Masaki sighed angrily, _"Come back here. We are going to have this conversation in person."_

No escape. Even with Sai, there was still no way to escape from _'Itsuka'_. Tears slid down his cheeks but Hikaru didn't make a single sound.

_"__**Now**__, Itsuka," _Masaki ordered. The older boy paused, then continued on dispassionately, _"Rizumu is coming back."_

Hikaru's eyes widened. "Rizumu..." he breathed out.

_"Hurry up or you'll miss him."_

* * *

Hikaru had messaged Sai with only a brief explanation about having to take care of personal business and that he may be late for dinner. As expected, he'd received a call shortly after by the frantic Go pro, although it probably helped soothe the man's nerves when Hikaru actually picked up this time.

_"Business? Can't it wait until I get back home?" _Sai asked, worry coming in loud and clear from the other side of the receiver.

Hikaru was already only four blocks away from the Gate. He didn't bother hiding his dry tone as he replied, "Sorry, it has to be now."

_"I can leave work then-"_

"Don't," Hikaru cut in. Was work that lax for the man? "It'll all be over soon."

_"What!"_

Hikaru winced at the loud exclamation. "Sorry, poor phrasing. Look, I'll be back in time for dinner, okay?"

Displeased silence. It was amazing to Hikaru that he could even tell.

_"What kind of work, exactly?" _Hikaru's lips twitched up in a smirk that was almost cruel.

"Not what you're thinking of, for once. I'm visiting a friend."

_"A friend?"_ Relief - and doubt. It was somewhat reassuring that the man wasn't that naive, Hikaru thought. _"...Can you tell me about it when you get back?"_

"Sure," Hikaru agreed easily enough. He was going to completely lie about it but it's not like Sai would know that.

_"Hikaru," _Sai used his name far too easily. It always sent a little jolt down his spine when he heard it, but it was...nice, to be acknowledged in such a way. In school, he was 'Shindou' - the delinquent; outside, he was 'Itsuka' - employee of the Gate. On some days, he'd forget he was Hikaru, swallowed up by one role or another.

It seemed Sai wouldn't forget. _"I'll call you in about an hour, okay? Please pick up."_

"I'll try," Hikaru replied softly. He hung up before Sai could respond.

Stepping through the familiar entrance of the Gate, Hikaru shoved the cellphone back into his pocket. Going up the staircase, he bypassed a trio of older girls who gave him only a cursory glance. As school had ended only just two hours ago, it was still too early for business to really kick off; there were far more people present now.

Hikaru could recognize some but he only personally knew about a dozen or so by name. He had been employed to the Gate for about half a year now but that seemed to be quite the tenure here; others were traded out to other groups, bought by clients, or just disappeared. The latter held a more sinister connotation and Hikaru had heard some terrifying rumors here and there about it. Masaki had never taken challenge to his authority very well. It was the main reason his word was law within the Gate; no one dared to question the person who could make anyone vanish without lifting a single finger.

"Is that Itsuka-kun I see~?"

That was all the warning Hikaru got as he stepped through the door before he was promptly wrapped up in a pair of skinny arms, face practically smashed into the girl's bosom in a smothering hug. He couldn't help an involuntarily flail and he could hear soft laughter coming from the right.

"_My darling~!_ Masaki-kun was telling me _alllll _about what that nasty Yamaguchi pulled!" the girl crowed, pulling back only to lean down, face hovering a scant few millimeters from Hikaru's. "My poor _baby_~!"

Mocking. Hikaru scowled in irritation, breaking free of the girl's hold and prompting a smirk to spread across those glossy, pale pink lips. "Mimi, you're a bitch," he stated flatly, stepping past his neighbor with a bland look.

Satomi - known as _'Mimi' _while in the Gate, she had stressed - was 16 years old and the one who had connected Hikaru with Masaki. She was in Caramel, although she had started only about two months before Hikaru himself; apparently she had gone to the same junior high as Masaki. Her bobcut-styled hair and large, expressive eyes matched her cheerful personality, and she upped her own cuteness factor by acting younger than she was. Hikaru was only more irritated by this, as he knew it all to be a complete act and one she deliberately exaggerated just to bug him.

"_Oh_ _my honey_, don't be so cold!" Mimi cooed, trailing after the younger boy. "Come on, now you can tell Aoi-chan to shut up whenever he starts complaining about Yamaguchi! There's always an upside!"

"Like hell!" came the disdainful rebuke from said teen, lounging on one of the sofas. True to his name, Aoi's hair was a dark shade of cobalt blue that only seemed to illuminate his pale skin. He was good-looking in a handsome way, Satomi's age and whose tenure matched that of Chikara - so he'd been employed in the Gate for over a year.

"Yamaguchi took me into fucking _Toffee_," Aoi pointed out snidely. The bitterness was expected - once you reached Toffee-rank, you didn't leave it.

"She just wants you to stop bitching so much," another boy put in cheerfully. He was sitting crouched on the sofa next to Aoi's, dark bangs framing thick, square glasses and lips smiling. Hikaru glanced at him but didn't maintain eye contact. He knew better than to stare at Tomorou for too long; he matched Masaki's tenure and influence in the Gate. Hikaru didn't know what exactly Tomorou had gotten involved in to get that kind of power but he wasn't about to question it. Questioning the wrong people may lead to a death sentence in this place.

"Where's Masaki?" Hikaru asked, turning back to look at Satomi. The girl sauntered over to sit next to Aoi, off-handedly flipping her hair as she reclined languidly.

"Somewhere~!" she sang back.

"Tending to the damn brat," Aoi put in. "I don't know what the client did to him this time but it seemed pretty serious. Little fucker couldn't stop whimpering."

A sickened feeling settled itself into Hikaru's gut. It was Rizumu to which Aoi was referring; the boy was the same age as Hikaru, but for some reason or another he was heavily disliked by the general populace of the Gate.

"Itsuka-kun only comes to see Rizumu, huh~! It's not fair!" Satomi whined.

"No one in their right mind would want to see an annoying bitch like you," Aoi sneered.

Hikaru let them banter it out. There wasn't any point in joining in; in their own twisted way, this was how relationships were developed within the Gate. It was a strange sense of camaraderie, broken only by the reality that sometimes they competed over the same customers for the same disgusting job. Even then, they were united by their hatred for their customer base. Hikaru privately thought he'd turn out just like them. It was either that or he'd turn up like a corpse; Masaki had been pretty clear on that point.

There was a light tap on his shoulder. Hikaru turned, mildly surprised to see the Chinese immigrant known only as _'Shanhai' _staring back at him contemplatively. He was a fairly recent addition to the Gate, having been shoved into Masaki's hands by the district's leading yakuza group. The Chinese teen could only speak in broken Japanese so he tended to skulk around the Gate as a loner. He was pretty and exotic, but nervous among other members of the Gate - to be expected, of course. He was often bullied by some of them. No one else seemed to notice the Chinese boy's odd behaviour, distracted as they were by the escalating argument between Satomi and Aoi.

Shanhai looked uncharacteristically determined. He was only a couple years older than Hikaru, and just like Aoi, he'd been suddenly thrust into the Toffee rank. Shanhai didn't complain however, even if that was just because of the language barrier.

"I saw your book. You play _wéiqí," _Shanhai stated.

Hikaru blinked, taken-aback. "I play what?"

"_Wéiqí_," Shanhai repeated, a small frown of frustration turning his lips. "Stone encircle game? I do not know Japanese name."

_Stone encircle game-?_ "Go?" Hikaru ventured tentatively.

Shanhai stared at him, looking equally puzzled. "_Wéiqí_," he shrugged. An idea came to the Chinese youth and he pivoted to go to the corner of the room. A tall bookcase loomed in the corner, partly obstructed by a sofa. It held a variety of board games and manga, although the items were only used to show appeal to the rare customers who visited the Gate. It was a way of showing off their persona without actually interacting with the customer, if the client wanted to pick out someone by themselves. (This was how Hikaru had gotten Amekura, incidentally.) Shanhai threw a few games off to the side, pulling out a folded-up cardboard and a small plastic bag full of black and white stones. Hikaru was honestly surprised at the sight; they actually had go stones here?

Shanhai motioned Hikaru over as he set the cardboard down, unfolding it to reveal the familiar grid of the goban. It really was just a flat piece of cardboard with the 19 by 19 grid drawn out with black permanent marker, but it seemed to be precisely spaced and such. Shanhai dumped out the stones to the side, filtering them into the appropriate piles.

"We play _wéiqí_," Shanhai said. It didn't sound like a suggestion or offer, but the Chinese youth peered at him hopefully. This was likely the only friendly interaction the boy had ever had. Hikaru wondered if it was okay to pity someone older than him, even though pity had only ever infuriated him.

Hikaru plopped down on the opposite side. "I'm not any good," he said frankly.

Shanhai waved him off, a genuine smile on his lips. "Does not matter. I just like game," he said, pushing the pile of black stones towards Hikaru. "You first," Shanhai decided after a moment.

Hikaru picked up a stone just as Sai had taught him, a small smile on his face. His first non-Sai game _would _take place in such a downtrodden place, wouldn't it? _How oddly fitting,_ Hikaru mused.

_"Onegaishimasu."_

* * *

Nineteen by nineteen, a pattern of white and black that didn't make a single sound when played. The wrinkles in the cardboard sometimes upset the dimensions of the lines, or shifted one stone or another off; but never enough to confuse. The stones themselves were chipped but oddly clean, untouched by the dust that otherwise coated the other games.

_6,3._

Shanhai held the stones perfectly, careful as he placed them on the makeshift board. His hand was steady and certain with every move, gauging his opponent with clear eyes and no smile. Hikaru's eyes flicked from the other boy's face back to the board, more concerned with the battle than his opponent's expression.

_4, 6._

With only Sai as an opponent, this was the first game Hikaru has ever played on an even field. Handicap stones did nothing against Sai - Hikaru always thought he'd have to place at least 20 to even give Sai a slight challenge - and the man's plays were defensive and gauging, testing all of Hikaru's hands to try and teach him something,

_3,7._

Shanhai had given him no handicaps, just as unsure of his own level as Hikaru. But because Sai had never felt any particular need to attack Hikaru as he taught him, Hikaru's style leant itself to a more aggressive hand. To dominate, to control, to be_ his his his his_ - Hikaru's playing style was attempting to slaughter every hand Shanhai played.

_16, 17._

Shanhai had learned _wéiqí _from his grandmother. She had been a kind, clever woman; her withered limbs had not affected her mind and she taught Shanhai her favorite game before destitution claimed her. In the village he was raised, there were no ways to advance through things like being good at a board game; his father had left town to go overseas in hopes of finding steady work and sending money back home. Shanhai had not heard from him since and his mother worked long hours every single day just to feed him and his siblings.

_15, 13._

Just to have enough to survive, they had to borrow money. As the debt climbed, Shanhai had been forced to acquiesce to the collector's demands. He'd been shipped off to Japan shortly after to work in an affiliated branch just as he'd turned fourteen. He hadn't heard from his family since; he could only hope his mother and little brothers were still in their hometown, scraping by with what Shanhai had sacrificed for them.

_10, 12._

_He's good_, Shanhai thought, placing another hand. Through the relentless onslaught of black on white, he'd wondered if the boy even bothered with a defense. He'd sacrificed entire eyes just to see what the younger boy would do to try and defend the next territory. Shanhai couldn't quite tell if the indifference to his threats was because Itsuka was still an amateur or because he honestly felt no threat.

_17, 2._

Shanhai blinked. _Why there?_ he mused. So this boy really was just an amateur... Still, Shanhai was not disappointed. He honestly just enjoyed playing this game and as long as his opponent could at least answer a few simple moves, he was satisfied. He had glimpsed the _tsumego_ workbooks in his opponent's bag a few times whenever he was idling at the Gate. The one perk of being the outsider in the establishment is that few cared enough to actually take much notice of him. It made moving around the place much easier, if a bit lonely.

_14, 7._

Hikaru winced. The older boy managed to take over a lot of territory with that move. He'd have to re-evaluate how useful constant aggression was in this game; the consistent challenge seemed to unsettle Shanhai's hands but the older boy had a careful defense that was steadily taking over more territory. _Still..._ Hikaru glanced at the hand that had so noticeably confused the older boy. _Just a few more hands now..._

_7, 2._

The younger boy responded oddly to some of the hands he played. He seemed to be unused to actually playing the game; Shanhai wondered how the boy even got caught up in it in the first place. He didn't know anything about Itsuka - but he didn't much care, either. Getting emotionally tied to anyone in this line of work was a foolhardy move and Shanhai had no such inclination. Still, this 'Itsuka' was proving to be interesting. Not many played _wéiqí_, especially anyone in the Gate; did the boy have a client who was teaching him? It would explain why Itsuka would sometimes be confused by moves outside of the standard, unique to Shanhai's particular style. _Lack of experience_, Shanhai decided.

_4, 13._

Hikaru didn't show anything as the trap snapped closed. _Got you..._

Shanhai _stared_. That hand a few moves back had...shifted the entire play of the board. _How? _Shanhai wondered, going back over his moves. How had he missed it? Surely there must have been some way to have foreseen it; had he gotten careless? He got too comfortable with the flow of the game, had underestimated his opponent - _How far?_ Shanhai wondered, a cold sweat breaking across his bow. _How far ahead can he read?_

"_Nǐ shì shénme?_" Shanhai murmured, eyes still locked onto the stones.

_What are you? What are you? What are you?_

"...what the fuck are you two doing?"

Both their heads snapped up at the voice; Shanhai's dark eyes narrowing in confusion as Hikaru's widened in alarm. Masaki was glaring down at them, hands shoved into his pockets as his eyes glanced over their faces and down at the game on the ground. Hovering behind the teen was Tomorou, grinning widely as he stared unabashedly at the game of go.

"I didn't know you two could play go!" the boy crowed, sweeping past a disbelieving Masaki. "That's completely retro~! Where did you learn that, Itsuka?"

Hikaru didn't answer. Tomorou didn't seem to have expected one, stepping forward and stomping one boot-clad foot atop the game. Hikaru flinched and Shanhai cried out at the ruined match, but wisely did not try to stop Tomorou as the boy ground the cardboard under his heel.

"Tomo-chan, stop bullying them!" Satomi reproached from her position on the nearby couch.

Aoi lit up a cigarette, "The freaks were really into it, too. Who the hell even likes that old man's game?"

"Just because you're too stupid to understand it doesn't mean it's dull," Satomi sniffed.

"You don't understand it either, bitch!"

Masaki scoffed, grabbing Hikaru by the arm and hoisting the younger boy up. "I don't care why the fuck you know how to play," he started, practically throwing his charge onto the adjacent sofa. Shanhai jumped to his feet and skittered across the room, taking refuge on a dilapidated armchair and curling up. Tomorou continued to gleefully demolish the board game, humming in contentment as the cardboard came apart under his ministrations.

"So about that bullshit you were spouting earlier," Masaki said, plopping down next to a disoriented Hikaru and stealing Aoi's lit cig off-handedly. The blue-haired boy scowled but said nothing. "Since apparently you're just being a whiny little bitch, I'm putting you on the shelf."

"...I don't know what that means," Hikaru admitted after a moment.

Masaki gave him a condescending look, "No new customers for now. You'll stick with what you have."

Hikaru curled a little more into himself. He only had one client as far as the Gate was concerned. He knew this could have ended a lot worse, knew Masaki could have ignored Hikaru's desires and force more customers on him, knew he was considered lucky by others for this generous demand. But still - some part of him had wanted this to stop completely. He wanted Itsuka to cease to exist.

"Amekura," Hikaru muttered.

Masaki nodded, face bland as he took a drag, "Amekura."

The way the older boy said his name was concerning. Hikaru remembered the look Masaki had given the man when he was last in the Gate. What had happened between the brunet boy Hikaru had seen and Amekura?

"Where is Rizumu?" Hikaru finally asked.

Masaki shook his head, "You can't see him today. He's in _Ice_."

Hikaru hugged his legs to his chest, resting his chin atop his knees as he stared out over the room. 'Ice' - meaning 'isolation'; Masaki was attempting to detox Rizumu from whatever was currently pumping through the child's system. Hikaru wondered what kind of drug had been forced into the other boy's body to warrant it.

His phone buzzed, belting out a tune as Hikaru pulled it out. He glanced at the Caller ID and was unsurprised to see Sai's name flashing back at him, matched with _gagaku_ ringtone that had Masaki twitching in irritation. Hikaru turned back to his 'boss', who was taking another long drag although his eyes were locked onto Hikaru's phone in consideration.

"Are we done?" he asked softly.

Masaki was quiet for a moment, then nodded. "Get lost," he dismissed. Hikaru flipped open his phone, striding out of the room without a farewell and ignoring the myriad of stares he'd earned as he left.

"I'll be there soon," Hikaru said in lieu of a greeting into his phone.

Masaki watched him leave. Just as the blond-banged boy descended the stairs, Masaki motioned to a tall teen reading in the corner of the room. The blond-haired teen gave a short nod, sweeping long bangs out of his eyes as he slouched out of the room.

Satomi winced. _Why unleash the Dog?_

* * *

Hikaru knocked on the door, blowing out his breath to watch it fog and disappear. There was a flurry of noise behind the door - something clattered, the low thud of someone tripping over their own two feet, then rapid footsteps. Sai threw open the door only a moment later, looking a little harried.

"Welcome home!" Sai exclaimed cheerfully, stepping aside to let the boy in.

Hikaru eyed him askance, "You're surprisingly clumsy, did you know that?"

Sai's face reddened. Hikaru ignored the low whine of _"I'm not used to people knocking on my door!"_ as he took off his shoes and set them to the side, slipping on the pair of house slippers Sai had bought for him.

"I'm making soup for dinner," Sai said, moving back over to the kitchenette. Bubbling on the stove was a pot of dark brown broth, which Hikaru was forced to assume the noodles were boiling in. To the side were a small variety of diced vegetables: carrots, green onions, white carrot, and eggplant. Every available herb and spice was positioned nearby and all looked used.

_I wish there was a way to turn off my taste buds,_ Hikaru mused in exasperation, eyeing the ingredients warily. "Please tell me you didn't use every spice in your cupboard," he commented.

Sai blinked, bemused. "Why? I was worried the chicken broth would be too bland, so I added a bit of everything..."

Hikaru rolled his eyes. Of course. _I'll just eat it as fast as I can_, he vowed.

"It's almost done, but would you like me to make you a cup of tea?" Sai asked, stirring the concoction.

Hikaru took a seat at the dining table, lips quirked up into a titled smirk. "What, no more hot chocolate?"

Sai's stirring paused briefly, dark eyes locked onto the boiling pot. Hikaru wasn't looking over at him, but he could feel the odd tension in the air. He kept his eyes on the far wall, not willing to break the silence.

"Hikaru," Sai started softly, continuing to stir. "Do you like hot choco?"

"...No," Hikaru replied lowly, yet his gaze never dared to drift towards Sai's immediate vicinity. The pro wondered at what point Hikaru had been taught that denying anything was worthy of punishment. The boy was so frightened of even disliking something as insignificant as _hot chocolate_. The small detail infuriated the pro; what kind of monsters had laid their hands on Hikaru, had taught the child that voicing his dislikes was wrong? That sharing his _preferences _was wrong?

Sai spooned out the soup into two bowls without further comment, placing one in front of his charge. He returned to the kitchen to fetch them both a cup of tea, setting the drinks down and taking the seat adjacent to the boy. Hikaru was gazing down at his soup in apprehension, using his chopsticks to find the noodles - thin rice noodles, judging by looks alone. He tentatively slurped a few, along with the broth.

_Must not choke, must not choke, swallow swallow swallow-!_ Hikaru chanted to himself. He didn't know what the sauce was made of - it didn't taste like anything he'd ever had before. And there were bits of garlic and egg floating towards the top, and some kind of oil was clearly trying to disassociate itself from the broth.

"Wow, the ginger really brings out the taste, doesn't it?" Sai mused happily, slurping away at his own portion.

_Your taste buds are so broken!_ Hikaru cried out mentally.

Hikaru forced down the rest of the noodles but couldn't quite swallow the broth. He put his bowl away in the sink as Sai cleaned off the table. The man stacked the pot and cutting board by the sink, handing a wet rag to Hikaru.

"Wipe down the table, Hikaru," he instructed kindly. "Then work on your homework."

Hikaru considered the rag for a moment, but did as told. He hadn't had a chore since he was six years old, when his mother had him water the bamboo plant stationed on the kitchen counter. He cleaned up after himself well enough (he had to, seeing as no one else was there to take care of him or his belongings), but he hardly had any personal possessions that required systematic cleaning. Just like him, his possessions were easily disposable.

Hikaru brought the rag back to the sink, leaving it to the side as Sai finished cleaning the dishes. "I don't have any homework," he told the man frankly.

Sai glanced over at him, setting a plate to dry. "Really?" the go pro asked shrewdly.

Hikaru scowled at the obvious doubt but it was quickly replaced by a small smirk. "Well, I didn't go to school today so it's hard to do homework that I wasn't present to receive..."

"Hikaru!" Sai snapped, straightening up from cleaning. "You can't skip school!"

Hikaru stuck a finger in his ear, faking a yawn just to be especially obnoxious, "Obviously I can, since I just did."

Sai huffed, putting away the last dish. "Education is very important, Hikaru! Not to mention mandatory. Or do you want to be held back a year?"

Hikaru twitched, "Stop _lecturing _me."

Sai gave him a long look. His interactions with his younger companion were growing to be more and more like this; volleying back between timid agreement and obnoxious defiance. Sai knew Hikaru was just testing his boundaries, seeing how far Sai could be pushed - to see if he would break, would throw Hikaru away, would wash his hands of the boy.

If he had maintained the 'professional' relationship with Hikaru, he knew the testing of his boundaries would be much more subtle. But that wasn't the relationship Sai wanted, and in some way, Hikaru was just beginning to understand this. Now he was approaching Sai in a way he had never approached anyone before, testing the grounds with unsteady steps and wary eyes.

It was both vexing and exhilarating. To know that Hikaru was trying, in some way, to take Sai's outstretched hand for once - Sai couldn't be any happier. However, that didn't mean it wasn't fraying his usually-calm nerves; Hikaru would be obstinate about anything, to the point where Sai wondered if he was just being stubborn about whatever struck his fancy. Then when Hikaru avoided being completely honest when Sai asked him questions, or avoided answering altogether - it made the older man fear the worst.

Sai was scared of pushing Hikaru too hard but at the same time being too lenient that he came across as uncaring. He was walking a delicate tightrope and his emotional state was being worn down because of it. It was exhausting like playing games against corrupt politicians was exhausting, only Sai didn't quite know what was expected of him and the results were far more important to him.

Sai didn't say anything but he did give a little sigh as he moved past the younger boy. Hikaru tried to pretend he wasn't as irked at Sai's visible disappointment as he really was. _Like I care what he thinks!_ Hikaru thought furiously, following the man back into the living room.

"So what were you doing earlier?" Sai asked, taking a seat at the table.

Hikaru took the adjacent chair, "Nothing much. Just went to visit a friend but he wasn't there."

Sai's gaze was unrelenting. "Hikaru, you promised you'd tell me about it."

"I did. I tried to see my friend but he wasn't there. So I'm back. It wasn't a terribly exciting day," Hikaru replied casually.

Sai was quiet for a moment, staring at the tabletop as if it would give him all of life's answers. Then his eyes rose to meet Hikaru's gaze but the younger boy quickly averted his attention to the far corner.

"So who is this friend?" Sai asked.

He said it in a vaguely curious manner but Hikaru flinched anyway. Sai flinched in response, prompting a small scowl from the boy.

"Not _that _kind of friend," Hikaru bit out waspishly. The reminder that he still had to service Amekura made the bile rise in his throat again yet he made sure to keep the distasteful look off his face. Sai didn't need to know anything about that.

Sai didn't look like he fully believed him but valiantly continued on. "And your friend...?"

Hikaru shifted to pull a knee closer to his chest, resting his chin atop it. "His name is Rizumu. I haven't seen him for awhile. He's sick right now so I couldn't talk to him."

Sai nodded in understanding. The man knew the boy wasn't telling him the whole truth - or even a grain of it, really - but at the very least, he could tell that this 'Rizumu' likely actually existed. The strange name clued Sai in to where Hikaru may have met the boy, which lodged a distasteful clump of emotions in the pro's heart.

True, he hadn't gotten Hikaru to swear aloud that he would leave his former life behind - but Hikaru had all but reached that conclusion himself. His continued presence at Sai's place was proof of that.

_Slowly_, Sai reminded himself. _Measure your steps._

"I take it you met this friend in your line of work," Sai mused calmly. He gave himself credit for maintaining his even tone, even as Hikaru's eyes snapped up to pin him with frightening intensity. The boy was obviously entering his defensive mode, as seen from the way his lips thinned and his shoulders straightened.

Sai kept his expression as complacent as possible, "It's clear you hold him dear. He must be important to you."

Hikaru blinked at him owlishly, taken off-guard. Sai continued on soothingly, "He can stop by and visit you here, once he gets better. I don't mind you having friends over."

Hikaru's eyes turned calculating, clearly thinking through Sai's suggestion. With the way the boy's shoulders remained tense, Sai realized that somehow, his statement had been taken the wrong way. He thought back to his words, running through them a few times trying to look up alternate meanings.

_The only way Hikaru could misunderstand it... _Sai inwardly sighed. "I can even leave the apartment, if you want. Really, Hikaru - he's your friend. I don't have to be here while your friend is over if it makes either of you uncomfortable."

Back to the wide-eyed look. Sai wondered if the boy was surprised more by the offer or by the fact that Sai had apparently understood how his suggestion had been mistaken. The pro did not even want to know where Hikaru had learned that "having friends over" meant something more along the lines of a _ménage__ à trois._

A short silence elapsed before Hikaru shook his head. "Rizumu... He's not really what I would call a _friend_," he admitted softly. At Sai's curious look, he continued on a bit stiffly, "Well, _I _think of _him _as a friend, but I don't think he thinks of me as one."

Sai blinked, "What?"

Hikaru shrugged, disheartened. "He doesn't really..._understand_ the concept of friendship, you know?" His hand settled on the tabletop, fingers tapping out an unsteady rhythm as he searched for the right words. "It's hard to explain, but he could never come over either."

Hikaru's fingers stopped their incessant tapping, the boy's green eyes looking at his knuckles unseeingly. "Rizumu belongs to the Gate," _We all do_, Hikaru added to himself. "He can never leave it. He's not allowed."

"The Gate?" Sai echoed in confusion.

Hikaru gave him a level look. It took a moment but then the epiphany struck - Sai's eyes widened before narrowing as his hands clenched in his lap. "Is-Is that where this all started?" the man asked. No need to elaborate what 'this' was - the way he ground it out was telltale enough.

"No," Hikaru negated wryly. "_That_ all started in a shabby little motel room for 60 grand. The Gate is just the only place we have left afterwards."

"Sixty grand-!" Sai choked out.

Hikaru chuckled mirthlessly. Tears sprung to Sai's eyes at the sound but the man blinked them away as his charge continued speaking.

"Sixty grand is a pretty good price, you know," Hikaru told him lightly. "First time hurts like hell, though. Bastard couldn't even do it properly-"

There had been a lot of blood on the bedsheets. Masaki had dragged him back to the Gate - Hikaru could barely remember the walk there, he had been in so much pain - to get him checked over. The person responsible for taking care of their injuries had treated the area, proclaiming that Hikaru was lucky that nothing was ripped; no one likes damaged things, after all. He'd been cleaned up with rough hands and shoved out the door with directions to come back next week for his next appointment.

"_No one should have done that to you!_"

Sai stood abruptly, hands slamming down atop the table and cutting Hikaru off mid-word. He was utterly vehement, the chair he had been sitting on knocked backwards by his sudden movements. Hikaru froze in shock, green eyes wide as he took in his companion's irate visage.

"Hikaru," Sai started again, noticeably trying to reign himself back in. "No one should have- _hurt _you like that. What those men have been doing to you _isn't right_."

It was important that Hikaru understand this. The boy needed to know that what happened to him wasn't right, that it shouldn't have happened, that he hadn't deserved to be hurt in such a way. The way Hikaru talked about it - like it was just a normal occurrence - made Sai's heart twist. That someone could _do this_ to a_ child._..

Sai righted his chair, re-taking his seat. "I did not meant to startle you, and I'm sorry I did. But Hikaru, what those people are doing is a crime. It should never have happened-"

"But it did."

Hikaru's tone of voice was sharp and devoid of feeling, matched only by the look in his eyes. He was resting his cheek against his fist, elbow propped up on the tabletop and eyes locked onto the older male. "It did happen_,_" Hikaru said, voice low and disaffected. "And there's no use in pretending it didn't."

"Hikaru, that isn't-" Sai winced, trying to find the appropriate words that wouldn't enrage his charge. "That isn't what I meant. You're right - pretending nothing happened is not only pointless, but harmful."

Sai's hands were in front of him, resting on the table and beginning to twist together in his agitated state. "I just believe it's important to make a distinction between what is right and what is wrong."

Hikaru's lips twisted up into a mockery of a smile - part-sneer, part self-deprecating smirk. "Because I can't differentiate?"

Sai met his eyes evenly, "No - just that you don't want to."

Hikaru could convince himself that what he was involved in was merely a part of the cycle of his life; it did not need to be labelled, to be judged morally or ethically because such distinctions did nothing for the boy. Whether or not it was 'wrong' mattered little to Hikaru, because regardless of its ethical existence - he would still have to do it.

Sai could tell Hikaru had more or less persuaded himself not to draw the lines, not to really think about how his job hurt him emotionally or mentally. To a child so concerned with just his own physical survival - Hikaru had had no room to worry about anything else. As long as it kept him clothed, sheltered, and fed - Hikaru did not dare question the role he had assumed for his survival.

Hikaru's fingers drummed on the table, before reaching up to half-heartedly brush his bangs out of his eyes. Sai noted the length: it was almost to his shoulders now, hastily pulled back into a messy ponytail that looked fashionable rather than negligent. He filed it away as another difference between this Hikaru and the one in the dreamverse; Hikaru's special attention to his own appearance would be endearing, if it hadn't been so carefully-cultivated from a lifestyle where appearances were the selling point.

"Hikaru," Sai began, breaking them from the stifling silence that had lapsed. Hikaru looked up at him guardedly, clearly not wanting to delve into any more issues Sai had with Hikaru's lifestyle - or that Hikaru had but didn't want to think about.

Sai opted for a more routine, gentler approach: "How was your day, otherwise?"

Hikaru didn't appear to be surprised by the abrupt topic change, although there seemed to be an internal struggle as to how answer Sai's question. Sai knew that well enough; the question itself was harmless, nothing more than a routine often indulged in by anyone from family members to friendly acquaintances. To anyone else, this question and the answers would mean little in the way of things. To ask this of Hikaru, however, was in its own way a little test: should Hikaru answer as he usually does - by assuming the role of Itsuka and lying - then Sai could gauge the level of trust Hikaru had afforded him. Sai was not naive enough to believe Hikaru would be completely honest with him at this stage, but even partial-admission while remaining as the honest Hikaru would be a tell-tale sign of just how much Hikaru was willing to take Sai's helping hand.

"Boring," Hikaru answered finally. From his tone, he sounded carefree and idle; from the way his eyes remained fastened to Sai's nose as if not quite daring to meet his eyes told something else altogether. "Your apartment isn't very exciting, you know."

"You could read," Sai offered, not letting his disappointment show. It wasn't the answer he was looking for but he didn't need to press for more quite yet. "I have some books to entertain you-"

"_Touya Meijin's Go Tutorial_," Hikaru cut him off, sounding bored. "_The Complete Kifu Collection of Honinbou Shushaku_ - who you seem to have an unsettling obsession with, because there's an entire bookshelf dedicated to his kifu and commentaries on them. Another four shelves of kifu dating from the Taishou Era to the present, and I won't even go into all of the Go magazines stuffed into the drawers like porn mags." Hikaru tapped his fingers on the table in an exaggerated expression of deep thought, "As for your non-Go related literature - which only have two shelves - almost all of them are poetry books. _Poetry_."

Hikaru gave him a rather galling smirk, "You were the kid everyone picked on in school, weren't you?"

"I was not," Sai huffed. The truth - he'd been the kid everyone tended to avoid interacting with, given the high status of his father and his own keen intellect. His beautiful looks earned him many an admirer, but awkwardness tended to color his every social interaction. Unimpressed by prestige, frustrated with the dim, and with the innocent curiosity of someone half his age - Sai had a way of alienating people without meaning to.

The expression on Hikaru's face clearly showed he didn't believe a word of it. The younger male dropped the line of conversation however, turning his eyes to the rest of the apartment. Sai drew back as well, eyes glancing about the room. He could understand Hikaru's boredom; the apartment barely held any interest for its own adult occupant, let alone a preteen. A couch, a table, and a goban; the only decoration Sai had bothered with were the stray plastic houseplants he'd bought upon Touya Akiko's suggestion of applying feng shui.

A one-room apartment was plenty for a lone bachelor like Sai. The bare necessities were fine, considering the amount of time he spent outside of his home. If he wanted to be the kind of support for Hikaru that Sai so fervently wished he was, he was going to have to change his routine life to better incorporate his new charge. He could start here, in the place where Sai intended Hikaru to live from now on.

"This weekend," Sai started, violet eyes evaluating the sparse living room as a gentle smile slowly came over his lips. "Let's go shopping. See if we can make this place more lively. How does that sound, Hikaru?"

Hikaru appeared startled. He didn't know how to respond - on one hand, that sounded like a great idea; the apartment could stand a little more excitement. However, to be the one to tell the older man that his personal tastes left a lot to be desires wasn't a comfortable role for Hikaru. Had he overstepped his boundaries, having complained so much? Was Sai just trying to buy him into greater debt?

Hikaru's silence must have clued Sai in somehow, but the older man just reached over to ruffle Hikaru's hair in a pointedly platonic gesture. "It should be fun. I also think this place is too boring," Sai mused, standing up. He wandered over to the goban, kneeling down to run a loving hand over the surface. Hikaru didn't follow immediately, instead fixing his touseled mane with a disgruntled look on his face.

"I believe you've advanced far enough that _tsumego_ problems can be done by yourself. Shall we play a game, Hikaru?" Sai suggested brightly, childish cheer returning to his voice at the prospect. It was that aspect of Sai's personality Hikaru could never understand; the man was ruthless and beautiful while playing the game, hopelessly naive in everyday interaction - but pre-game he was as excited as a toddler in a mud puddle.

The idea of playing a game brought back the memory of his own against Shanhai. Although they hadn't been able to finish the game - Tomorou was such an asshole! - Hikaru couldn't help but feel a bit of pride at being able to hold up on his own in actual game. Although he had been losing, he'd been able to spring a trap that had clearly left the Chinese boy flustered.

"Actually, I want to show you this game I was playing first," Hikaru said, going over to the board. "It was against a- friend of mine. We didn't get to finish it but tell me whatcha think!"

Hikaru set the goke to the side, opening each for access. Stone by stone, he set the hands down in the order they were played, bright green eyes holding a spark of excitement with each hand. Sai's eyes flicked from the board to Hikaru's face; he couldn't keep his own smile from splitting his lips. Hikaru's face was the most animated Sai had seen, as enthralled in the game he was portraying to Sai as his dream counterpart had been.

The urge to hug Hikaru and weep with joy at this flicker of hope was near-overwhelming. Sai wanted to squeal with joy, wanted to promise - and mean every word of it - that he would show Hikaru hundreds, _thousands _of beautiful games. To be able to touch Hikaru without worrying how it would be perceived, to hold him without tears, to provide a safe home that Hikaru would not doubt the sincerity of; Sai yearned for these things so strongly that he had to fold his hands together on his lap, hidden behind the edge of the goban so Hikaru couldn't see how they shook.

Somewhere along the fifth or sixth hand, Hikaru began to explain his own plays: what he planned, what he believed his opponent to have planned, the beginning of a trap that would have confused greater players - using their experience and own belief of superiority against them. "I wasn't completely sure he would fall for it," Hikaru confessed, frowning as he placed the hand that had so confounded his opponent. "He's stronger than me, I think, or at least has more experience. I just thought that I could use that against him."

Here, Hikaru gave a half-hearted shrug. "People tend to believe what they want. If they think they're better than you, that superiority will color their actions, right? I thought I could use that to blind him, I guess..."

Blind him it had. Sai could read through the plays easily enough; he knew which side was Hikaru immediately, able to identify the aggressive style for what it was. This Hikaru hadn't learned as- _gently_ as the dreamverse one had. In all of their teaching games, he simply tried to massacre as much of Sai as he could. The Meijin had been trying to teach him that what worked better was a better defense but Hikaru's own innate belief of his inferiority had stopped him from completely absorbing that lesson.

It seemed Hikaru had learned it readily enough from this game. For the most part, Hikaru had just carelessly attacked where and what he could. Before the few hands that started the central trap, however, Sai could see Hikaru's own style shift; his plays became less erratic, more honed and _defensive_. Sai could have kissed the opponent that had hammered home the point of defense for Hikaru.

The trap itself interested Sai. It was just so _Hikaru_ that it nearly stopped his breath. Hikaru's trick plays had become part of the boy's unique style in the dreamverse, although those who played often enough against him had become able to figure out that that seemingly useless hand might not be as stupid as they first believed. This Hikaru seemed to be developing the same way; Sai couldn't have stopped his pleased smile even if he tried.

The last hand most certainly wasn't the last of the game. While Hikaru had been right, his opponent was the stronger of the pair - well past Tsutsui, perhaps stronger than even Kaga - with the trap sprung and the amount of territory Hikaru had obtained, the game could have gone well into _yose_. Sai cocked his head, _Did Hikaru forget the rest of the game?_ It wasn't terribly surprising - the boy was only a beginner, after all, and it wasn't like he was used to recalling games - but it was a bit disappointing. Still, it was interesting enough that Hikaru could recall this much about his first game...

Hikaru picked up on the confusion, "We got interrupted and couldn't finish," the boy answered the unspoken inquiry. "This is as far as we got."

He would have gone farther, Sai realized. Hikaru was playing, was enjoying playing; the thought struck hard and true. Even now, Hikaru was looking up at him - eager to learn, eager to continue. Hikaru wanted to improve on his own, was seeking out and playing games on his own. He was no lnger applying the rule of 'whatever pleases the customer' to Sai's teachings. Hikaru was learning, Hikaru was evolving, Hikaru was taking his first steps into a world free from his past.

"_Wha-_ Hey, why are you _crying_?" Hikaru demanded, flustered.

"I-I'm just so _happy_! _Hikaruuu_!"

"Why you gotta cry over _every little thing_, you weirdo!"

* * *

If another person asked Ogata one more goddamn time if he was feeling alright, the ninth-dan was going to strangle someone. The dull throb of a terrible hangover still haunted his head as he ghosted through the halls of the Go Institute, trying and failing to lose the chattering Ashiwara at his side. He'd gone drinking the night before, intent on picking up the first thing that hit on him in the bar and blocking the last few months from his mind.

Just as some saucy little thing in a red mini-dress started chatting him up, he couldn't help but think she was all wrong; her hair wasn't long enough, nor dark enough, and her smile was too predatory and not sincere enough. Just when he thought he could ignore all that, he'd taken her to his apartment but they hadn't gotten further than a few naughty touches before he'd called out the wrong name. (He didn't even _remember _her telling him her name, to be fair.) That had earned him a resounding slap across the face and he'd passed out in a drunken, touseled state to the sound of her high heels stomping away and the slam of his front door.

"Oh, it's Fujiwara!" Ashiwara piped up ecstatically.

Ogata was even more irritated to see the Meijin looking so goddamn happy as he noticed the pair. He greeted every person he swept by - whether they be stuttering first-dans or insolent seventh-dans - as he made his way over to Ashiwara and his huffy companion.

"Seiji! Ashiwara-san! Good morning," Sai greeted cheerfully.

"Good morning!" Ashiwara echoed.

"Shut the hell up, the both of you," Ogata growled out, one hand to his temple as his headache flared.

He was ignored by the pleased-as-peach pair, who began trading remarks on how lovely the weather was and such. Their light-hearted chatter and consequently awkward attempt at socializing - because they were both often likened to overeager kids - would have been vaguely amusing to Ogata on any other day, but right now the ninth-dan wished they'd take all their damn good cheer and shove it up their-

"Ah, Seiji, did you want to get lunch together?" Sai asked, turning to his friend as Ashiwara caught sight of Saeki Koujiro leaving one of the rooms and hounded after him.

And just like that, the world looked a little bit more wonderful. "Fine," Ogata grunted, careful not to look eager. It would be the first time in a month they had gotten any time together. Maybe Sai had finally broken it off with his girlfriend or whatever had been keeping the Meijin's time so occupied these days...

"Can I come over tonight?" Ogata asked, as they left the confines of the Go Institute in search of food. "We haven't played in awhile."

Sai did this weird stutter-step, quite nearly falling to the side, mouth forming an 'o' of surprise. Something in Ogata's chest clenched painfully, but he ignored it for the most part as he gripped onto Sai's arm to help the man regain his step.

"I-I'm sorry, Seiji," Sai managed out. "I'm still not - I still can't have anyone over. Perhaps another time."

Ogata grit his teeth but kept his snarled words at bay. _Another time, my ass!_

* * *

In all fairness, Ogata had always been completely honest with Sai. Ogata was the one that observed all the delicate machinations of what friendship entailed: he introduced his girlfriends to Sai, he'd dragged the Meijin out to interact with more than just his goban, he was careful not to overstep his boundaries when it came to sensitive topics like family. All Ogata asked was that Sai showed him the same courtesy.

But Sai was an idiot, so Ogata reasoned there were just some times he'd have to take the initiative himself.

If a couple months into a relationship Sai still wasn't willing for anyone to meet his new beau - much less his best friend - than Ogata would just have to do it himself. For all the Go professional knew, Sai could be trapped in an abusive relationship; it wasn't like the beautiful man was altogether too experienced with romantic ties. He may be a genius in Go, but he was naive fool outside of the board and could be easily manipulated by a black widow of a woman.

So Ogata was just doing his duty by ensuring the safety of his friend. That this entailed going over to Sai's apartment while Sai was still finishing up errands before heading home himself, certain that he would be meeting the new apple of Sai's eye - the phone call the Meijin had received before splitting ways with Ogata had clued the ninth-dan in - was just the way things had to be done. Once Ogata met the she-witch, ensured her character didn't require her to be burned at the metaphorical stake, then he and Sai could go back to their regular routine of late-night go games and _Sai not ignoring him, dammit_.

Sai had given Ogata the key to his apartment the first week he'd been released from the hospital, at his friend's insistence. Ogata had wanted to be able to check up on him easily and have quick access should Sai somehow be rendered incapacitated and be incapable of answering the door. Sai clearly had forgotten about Ogata's copied key, whereas the bespectacled man had never seen reason to remind him.

He had about maybe ten or fifteen minutes before Sai got back to the apartment. The person on the other end of the phone call had apparently instructed Sai to pick up some Chinese food for dinner before he came home, and Ogata knew Sai's favorite Chinese restaurant was the one five blocks away.

Ogata didn't bother with knocking when he reached Sai's apartment door, merely twisting the key into the lock. It unfastened cleanly and he pushed open the door, greeted by the sight of Sai's well-lit apartment. Closing the door behind him, it wasn't long before soft footfalls reached Ogata's ears and he turned to face the hallway.

"Sai-?"

The voice stopped abruptly, as did the advancing footsteps. The one who had spoken the name had still advanced far enough into the light that Ogata could see him, even if the ninth-dan was having trouble processing what he was seeing.

A _kid_. He couldn't be older than eleven, with the tackiest hairstyle Ogata had ever seen - why dye just the bangs? - and vivid emerald eyes. He was a wiry little thing, with tight-fitting black jeans and a striped shirt with long, black sleeves and a patchwork star sewn above his heart. The black portion of his hair was tied back into an untidy ponytail, and if Ogata's eyes weren't deceiving him - that was definitely a glittery star clip pulling back some blond strands to the left. He would have looked deceivingly cute and innocent, except the look in those _green, green_ _eyes_ was anything but simplistic.

Still, it was _just a kid_.

"Who the hell are you?" Ogata asked bluntly.

The kid cocked his head, eyes sweeping over him. "Isn't that my question, mister? I was here first, ya know."

He definitely couldn't be Sai's illegitimate offspring. The boy was too old, and Sai just didn't have it in him for that kind of dirty little secret. _Relative, then? Or maybe a neighbor's kid he's babysitting?_ Ogata mused, taking a few steps in.

He stopped when the kid skittered a matching distance away, clearly distrustful. _Right, stranger danger_, Ogata snorted inwardly. "Don't freak, bra- _kid_. I'm Sai's friend."

The kid inched forward a bit but an unsettling intensity had entered those eyes. "_Sai's friend?_" the child echoed softly. The way he said it made it sound foreign, as if to change the meaning itself by intonation - to something more dirty, more unwelcome. Ogata shook off the feeling.

"Sai invited me over to play a game," Ogata lied smoothly. He'd had a few excuses handy, in case Sai's houseguest - he'd thought girlfriend, but clearly not - became suspicious of his appearance.

"A game?" the child repeated. Ogata really hated the echo because it didn't sound like the dim-witted repetition of a particularly stupid child; it was as if the kid was hearing something completely different from what Ogata was actually saying. A smile dawned on those lips and the kid drew forward so gracefully that Ogata didn't even register the diminishing distance between them. "What kind of game, mister? Is it a fun one?"

That sounded far too wrong coming from the lips of a child. Something very sick settled into Ogata's gut as the boy came to a stop barely a step away from him, mischievous smile drawing the lips up and _utterly dead _green eyes meeting Ogata's bemused pair. "I like fun games," the child said softly, hands reaching up to grip the front of Ogata's suit lapels.

The man was a good two heads taller than the child but the action was enough to see what the intention was. Ogata was too stunned by just what was going on that he couldn't react quick enough to flinch away, his body freezing a cold spikes of horror stabbed their way up along the nape of his neck. He was pulled down just enough so that soft lips brushed his own with disturbing experience.

"_Wait_-!" Ogata choked out, finally rocking back a step and looking visibly disturbed. He raised one arm to wipe away the traces of something truly heinous just as the doorknob rattled.

The doorknob rattled and turned, "Hikaru? Why is the door unloc-"

The child didn't appear concerned, only slowly craning his head to take in the sight of Sai standing frozen in the doorway, violet eyes wide in shock and one hand still on the door handle.

Hikaru smiled - as pretty as a porcelain doll and about as sincere. "You invited your friend to play, Sai-san? You know that's going to be extra."

Horror. That's what came sweeping over Sai's face as the words registered. Ogata had never seen an expression like that on the other man before, and it lodged a lump in his throat as his mind raced to figure out the implications in the boy's words.

_A prostitute?_ Ogata's mind came to a screeching halt of disgust. Just as the boy looked to be about to continue speaking, however, Sai lurched forward; he grabbed Ogata by the front of his suit and practically dragged him forward with a strength his friend didn't even know he had. The boy stared at them as they passed, confusion clear in his eyes as he stepped back to allow more room.

"Sai, wait-" Ogata struggled to correct his own footing, stumbling as he was at being manhandled by the petite man. "What the hell is going on here! What is this kid-"

Sai unceremoniously shoved him out the door, but not before pulling him close enough to whisper in his ear. It sent a cold shiver down his spine at the sight of those narrowed violet eyes; it was the kind of look that screamed murder. Ogata didn't know Sai was even _capable_ of looking like that.

"If you've ruined the progress I've made, _Ogata_," Sai fairly hissed. _"I will never forgive you."_

The door slammed shut in his face.

* * *

**A/N**: Oh, Ogata... -_sigh_-

_Note 1_) **On Hikaru**: His behaviour is going to be pretty..._erratic_. As explained, he's testing his boundaries with Sai (by being quite the little brat at times) while being utterly terrified of the possibility of Sai getting fed up with him. This is a common behaviour of kids that come from difficult backgrounds, and this boundary-testing while come up now and again until Sai and Hikaru's relationship gains more stability.

_Note 2_) **On Ogata**: Ogata has a characteristic penchant for obsession in canon. I both toned it down (from the manhandling of children, because really - _WTF_, Ogata? Who just_ grabs kids from the street?_) and expanded on it (_"Lalala, it's my key now~!"_). Maybe he's just sexually frustrated? I imagine Sai would be one of the most difficult love interests to deal with... Too much innocence - no matter what you do, you'll always feel guilty! XD

_Note 3_) **On Sai**: I will be developing him slowly over the course of story. His history in this universe is actually quite..._something_. A reader also noted that he is coming across a bit too mature here. I can actually see that... I want to say it's a product of the Alternate Universe. Given these different circumstances (abused Hikaru, isolated Sai, Sai's troubled history), and being that Sai is an adult in the modern times - he's not going to act exactly like he did in canon._ He just simply can't._ He has other responsibilities (taxes, bills, relationships, a career) and he's grown up; he cannot fixate on Go like his ghost counterpart did. I also think he's rational enough to realize that acting as freely as he did with canon-Hikaru would not be well-received by _this_ Hikaru. Even something as simple as a hug could potentially frighten the boy.

_Note 4_) **The "Gate" and Hikaru's Job**: Yes, the story will go back there from time to time. I'm sorry, but it really isn't that easy to leave that kind of line of work once you're sucked into it - simply by virtue of the fact that the boss may not want you to leave. As for the cast in the Gate - they're important, in an off-screen kind of way. They influence Hikaru and his decisions later on in both subtle and un-subtle ways. You'll come across them in scenes, but they won't be as heavily featured as Sai, Hikaru, Ogata, the Touya clan, or even most of the canon cast. Dealing with the Gate is one more plot weaved into this story. :) And all of their names are going to be pretty whimsical, as they're all stage names. (Shanhai = Shanghai, Tomorou = Tomorrow, Aoi = Blue, etc.)

_Note 5_) **Rankings**: I was actually content to just let this one remain vague, but I've been getting questions about the details. (And some of you have even tried independently looking it up! Sorry, luvs - but you won't find it on the internet~!) So here's just a quick run-down:

(The next rank also includes the services of all preceding ranks.)

-_Vanilla_: Hikaru's rank. Basic services (oral and intercourse). No kinks, toys, or multiples. One-on-one only.

-_Caramel_: Chikara's and Mimi's rank. Includes multiple partners and fetish plays.

-_Toffee_: Aoi's and Shanhai's rank. Includes BDSM, bloodplay, and various other kinks - although the injuries are never severe.

-_Choco_: As good as being a sex slave. Includes body modifications (piercings, tattoos, brands), severe injury, and involuntary drug use.

-_Espresso_: The equivalent of slavery. All those ranked in the Espresso rank are usually kidnapped and sold into the sex slave industry. Body modifications may be so severe as to actually amputate limbs. Those in Espresso tend to last no longer than a year.

**Aaaand that's it for this chapter!** Until next time, everyone~! **Reviews are a great motivation to continue**, so please drop one! :) As per usual...

_Questions, comments, concrit?_ Then **kindly drop a review.**


	5. Pattern Darning

**A/N**: Wow, has it really been almost four months?! Let me start off by apologizing - for this story, it actually shouldn't have taken that long. I had a pretty terrible run with life for the past three months, however, and simply didn't have the time to write out this chapter before. But everything's settled back into its usual rhythm so it should be back to the ever-ambiguous every-month-update. XD

On a positive note, I get to visit my country's Northern Neighbor! 'Sup, Canada?!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own _Hikaru no Go_.

**Pairings**: Ditto the last chapter. Please read the notes at the bottom for further explanation.

**Warnings**: Same as all previous chapters, although this chapter isn't that bad. :) Guys - stop crying!

* * *

**Chapter Five**

_Pattern Darning_

* * *

Hikaru didn't make a sound, standing closest to the goban as he waited for the older man to do something - make some excuse, any sort of explanation to clear the confusion Hikaru feels clouding his mind. His heartbeat was deceptively calm, his breaths even, and he almost managed to convince himself that he was not waiting with bated breath for a reason to trust Sai.

The urge to trust Sai is great; the urge to dismiss the man and his claims of being different are even moreso. Hikaru has been hurt far too many times in his short life, too distrustful of any hand held out to him for aide now. He was shocked by the other man's appearance in the apartment and though he would not admit it to himself, he had been hurt by the revelation that Sai was no different from any of the other men Hikaru encounters. He doesn't quite understand why he had been so surprised by the idea of Sai being just like every other customer. He may have played the field differently but in the end - what did it matter? Hikaru was for sale and he could be bought; it was his own fault for getting caught up in the first place.

Sai remained by the door, back to Hikaru and head bowed - his shoulders were tense, everything about his posture exemplifying a coiled spring. One hand remained on the lock he had just clicked shut, having slammed the door in the face of the man from earlier. The Chinese food - mapo tofu, judging by the slowly-draining contents from the bagged containers - laid forgotten on the ground and inedible. Hikaru could not even guess at what was going in the Go professional's mind, as confused as he is by the previous scene.

_Caramel_. Hikaru just had to charge extra. He could handle it; there had to be some genuine shard of naïveté in Sai - he couldn't fake _that _well - and Hikaru could consider it as his own payment to the man for allowing him to feel some shred of hope. Even if it was for the briefest of moments, it had still been a moment of light in what had been years of the dark.

"His name is Ogata Seiji."

Hikaru was startled by the sudden statement. Sai had yet to turn around and address him directly, but his voice was calm as he continued on, "He's a friend of mine and a Go professional like myself. He used to stop by regularly but I specifically asked him not to recently. He ignored my request today and came without telling me."

Did that...change things? It took a moment for Hikaru's mind to catch up with the meaning in the words: Sai did not invite the man. The man came of his own volition - and judging by the surprise on his face when he first saw Hikaru, he hadn't been expecting the boy's presence either.

_Not Caramel,_ Hikaru realized suddenly. _I have not been sold._

He tried to stifle the surge of hope; the knowledge that he hadn't been betrayed was relieving. There was the matter of instant distrust when it came to interacting with adults that Hikaru wasn't prepared to see, but to the boy, it wasn't so much an issue as it was a necessary survival skill. It was always better to assume that the person you met was out to hurt and use you than to naïvely believe in them.

"Ah - sorry for the misunderstanding," Hikaru started glibly, one hand scratching the back of his neck in a gesture of embarrassment. It was cruder than what he usually did but there was something juvenile and innocent about it. "I didn't mean to start trouble between you and your friend, Sai-san."

"Hikaru, that isn't the issue here and you know it," Sai cut in.

There was an issue? Granted, to Sai, Hikaru had a lot of 'issues' - but there was a fat lot of good the older man could do about it. Between Hikaru and the Man in the White Suit, however, the only issue was the -

_Oh __**shit**__,_ Hikaru's eyes widened. "I- I didn't know! I thought- well, it doesn't matter what I thought! Shit, I didn't mean to - Sai, we have to catch him!"

Sai had already whipped around at his panicked tone but the man was frozen at hearing his name pass those lips without an honorific. If it hadn't been for the sheer terror sweeping over the boy's face, Sai would have thought he was dealing with his ever-energetic dreamverse counterpart. Hikaru dashed by him, unlocking and throwing open the door before Sai could react-

Only to come face-to-chest with a similarly frozen Ogata.

"_You-_" Sai started, tone dropping into the freezing temperatures.

"You're still here!" Hikaru exclaimed, sounding relieved. "Sorry about earlier - it was totally a joke, you know? Listen, Sai didn't mean to throw you out, he just doesn't like having his rules broken... Come in, come in!"

Ogata just stared at the brilliantly smiling child. He's had his fair share of events and politics, though, and knew a fake smile when he saw one. The pieces of the puzzle - who this child was and, more importantly to Ogata, what he meant to Sai - were forming but the picture remained unclear. The actions previous hinted at something horrible and Ogata wouldn't discount it yet - but he knows Sai and the younger man certainly isn't a pedophile.

He chanced a look at the Meijin. The long-haired male appeared torn between confusion, wariness, and murderous rage. (The last reserved specifically for Ogata.) But the child was already grabbing at Ogata's arm - Sai's eyes visibly narrowed - and pulling the taller man inside.

"-and I know that joke was in really bad taste but your expression was totally priceless!" Hikaru continued to babble on.

"Hikaru, I think Ogata-san has to go home," Sai interrupted in a deceptively calm tone. The daggers he was practically shooting from his eyes did little to hide the fact that this was an order. For a moment, Ogata thought to agree with the other man. He had no desire to further upset his friend, especially given that Sai looked like he wasn't about to forgive him and return to his usually chipper self any time soon.

Then again, the two's dinner was splattered all over the floor. Ogata had made the mistake of letting Sai make him ramen one time; it was practically the ninth-dan's _moral duty _to make sure this child wouldn't have to swallow down some poison the misguided Meijin concocted.

"Well, I haven't had dinner yet," Ogata idly contributed, smirk spreading across his lips. Sai's eyes narrowed at him, though the boy had noticeably perked up. "Why don't I cook something up?"

Sai was already interjecting, "That is unnecessary-"

"But then what're we gonna do about food?" Hikaru piped up, looking up at the Meijin with eyes practically begging to be served anything but what Sai made. Ogata could completely sympathize.

It went right over Sai's head, "I could make some curry-"

"Yes, because that's nutritious," Ogata drawled, striding in and utterly ignoring Sai's subsequent squawk of indignation. "I bet when you aren't poisoning the poor kid with your homemade recipes, you're trying to supplement him with convenience store goods or cheap take-out?"

Sai's mouth clicked shut, a brief flash of visible guilt staining the discontent expression. Ogata snorted, heading towards the kitchen as Hikaru grabbed one of the hand-towels and began to clean up the mess at the entryway. Standing aside awkwardly as the situation essentially spun out of his control, Sai gave an exasperated huff as his friend started to rummage through his refrigerator for ingredients.

Once Hikaru wandered back down the hall to throw the towel into the laundry, Sai entered the kitchen. Ogata was already at work chopping up vegetables - bamboo shoots and bell pepper - for the stir fry, having dug out an apron that Sai didn't know he owned from one of the kitchen drawers. Much to Sai's agitation, his friend had always been the better cook; Ogata had had more experience living independently at a younger age than Sai had, used to taking care of himself whereas Sai had always had someone - whether it be a maid or his aunt - to cook and clean for him.

"I'm still very upset with you," Sai said, leaning against the counter to keep one eye out in case Hikaru returned. "We will be talking about this."

Ogata didn't even pause in his chopping, "I look forward to it. I hope this promised talk involves why you have a _child hooker_ in your apartment as well."

Sai outright flinched at the crude labeling, one hand clamping down on the taller man's arm, "Do not call him that! Hikaru is just... He's just _lost_."

"There's a very big difference between teenage rebellion and committing a felony, Sai," Ogata pointed out waspishly.

"We will not talk about this here!" Sai snapped back.

Ogata scoffed, "So I finally get your attention, huh?"

"What?" Sai blinked, taken aback.

"Just get out of the kitchen, would you? It's not exactly spacious," Ogata waved off irritably. He started to fry the veggies just as Hikaru returned, prompting Sai to paste another smile on his face for the boy's benefit. Hikaru just gave him a strange look then turned his attention to Ogata - who was more concerned with making sure the meat wasn't going to burn to notice.

"Huh," Hikaru mused, staring at the bespectacled man contemplatively. "I didn't know Sai had an apron."

"I bet he didn't either," Ogata returned evenly. To Sai's ever-growing indignation, Hikaru snickered.

Ogata looked over at the boy as he cut the pork cutlet into strips. "I never did get your name, kid," the man pointed out.

Hikaru looked panicked for a moment, confusing the go pro. _It's just your name_, Ogata thought in consternation. Sai shifted subtly, a pained look crossing his own features before they morphed into resolution. Ogata's unwarranted intrusion was still distasteful but at the very least, it could prove to provide some good. "This is Shindou Hikaru," Sai introduced, placing one hand on the boy's shoulder. "He's my student."

Ogata dropped the pair of cooking chopsticks he was using to fry the pork, eyes wide and as close to gaping as Sai had ever seen before. Hikaru felt stiff under Sai's hand but the Meijin was keeping his eyes on his friend, letting him know without saying a word that if he said one thing wrong, there was a good chance he'd be viewed as irredeemable.

"That wasn't exactly what I was expecting to hear," Ogata admitted after having taken a moment to regain his composure. The pork started to sizzle alarmingly, drawing the ninth-dan's attention away. Hikaru shook off Sai's hand at the other's man inattention, giving his self-proclaimed 'mentor' a befuddled look as he stepped closer to the stove in order to watch Ogata cook. Sai let him go with a tolerant look, mildly put-off by the way Hikaru approached the other Go pro - the close proximity in which Hikaru stood to Ogata wasn't as distant as courtesy dictated.

"What did you _want_ to hear?" Hikaru asked curiously.

Sai didn't much like that question. It implied something dishonest, as if there was something wrong with _Hikaru_ being _Sai's_ student - a sense of unworthiness. It was clear Hikaru was trying to probe Ogata for a reaction to base future interactions on. If a 'professional go player' and 'Sai's friend' acts_ this way_, then he should act_ that way.._.

But Sai didn't want Hikaru to act as anything or anyone but Hikaru.

Ogata didn't say anything for a moment, instead adding his chopped vegetables to the stir fry. He turned to the cabinets, expertly pulling out what he needed - garlic powder, soy sauce, sesame oil, chili pepper - under Hikaru's mystified gaze. The boy wondered just how well Ogata and Sai got along, if the bespectacled man already knew where Sai kept all of his spices.

"What I want is a bit complicated, kid," Ogata said casually. "Although it would be nice to hear that that damn old man Kuwabara's tongue rotted away and he can't speak anymore."

Hikaru openly stared at him, taken aback by the seemingly random response. Sai sputtered a little, managing out a scandalized "Seiji! What a _horrible _thing to say!"

Ogata snorted, adjusting his glasses - in what Hikaru thought was a superfluous movement, just in order to look a bit more sinister. (Which, Hikaru could admit, the man pulled off rather well.) "Most people would agree that it would be an improvement," Ogata returned evenly and without the slightest bit of remorse.

"Is this because of your last match-?" Sai cut himself off as Ogata's expression darkened. Kuwabara Honinbou was clever old man that guarded his title like a coiled snake, and he seemed to have made a hobby of going out of his way to tease or otherwise torment Ogata. In Sai's (sometimes a bit too optimistic) opinion, it was just proof that Kuwabara found the bespectacled ninth-dan worthy of being his rival and rattled him accordingly. Ogata did not share this opinion.

"That damn old codger... He better not die until I claim his title-!" Ogata swore under his breath.

Hikaru couldn't choke back a laugh, "Are you sure you're a Go pro? You're way cooler than Sai!"

"Hikaru-!" It was amazing how fast Sai could be reduced to a pitifully childish tone and tears. "How could you!"

Ogata smirked. In a way, he supposed he was scoring good points with the kid - and any kid that Sai deemed important enough to claim as a student was someone that Ogata wanted to be on the good side of. If the kid liked him well enough, this would (hopefully) help in getting along better with his more-than-awkward friend. Ogata had a made a habit of not getting involved with anyone who had kids - but Sai was the exception, as usual.

"So what rank are you? Are you an insei?" Ogata posed to the boy. Hikaru continued to stand at his elbow, the close proximity unnerving given what he had attempted earlier. Sai had better explain what was up with the kid or Ogata was going to give in to the urge to wring someone's neck. Given the way this week had been going, it would probably be Ashiwara's - the little dick wouldn't stop trying to strike up conversation with him whenever Saeki rejected him.

Ogata was not prepared for Hikaru's blank look of incomprehension. The lack of reply made him stare back bemusedly, lurching the kitchen into a mutual silence of confusion.

"He's still learning," Sai's tone was cheerful but the look he was giving Ogata over Hikaru's head promised hell if the bespectacled man didn't tread carefully. Ogata rose an eyebrow, keeping his shock locked within. Hikaru's blank expression evened out into bland acceptance, seemingly satisfied at letting Sai answer the question for him.

_Beginner_, Ogata categorized. Why on earth would Sai choose someone so green to mentor? He gave the child a more thorough once-over, dissatisfied over just how complicated a mere _kid _could be. Stupid hairstyle, strange fashion sense, impeccable nails...

"Are your nails painted?" Ogata asked suddenly, the incredulity not quite void in his tone.

Hikaru shoved his hands into his pockets, suddenly finding something very fascinating in Sai's general area as he shuffled closer to the long-haired man. "It's just a shiner coat," was what Ogata heard the kid mutter in a reply.

"So you paint your nails?" Ogata persisted, not quite sure why this was bothering him as much as it did. True, the kid was a bit on the girly side - what with that glittery hair clip and all - but Ogata didn't think even many elementary school _girls_ actually had manicures.

"...it looks cleaner like this," Hikaru elaborated, managing to inject some confidence into his tone. The smile he pasted on was reminiscent of the one Ogata had been treated to when it had just been the two of them, making the Go pro distinctly uncomfortable.

"There's nothing wrong with a coat of paint on your nails," Sai interjected in a severe tone. The Meijin gave his young charge a considering look. "...I actually used to paint my nails and wear lipstick, even though I was a bit older than you, Hikaru."

The deadpan expressions this earned him made him cringe.

"It was in back then!" Sai cried defensively. The 80s had been a..._colorful_ time for Sai.

Ogata snorted, clearly dismissing the entire line of conversation. "I suppose you two are suited for each other then," he said, switching off the stove. "Help me set the table, kid."

_Why is everyone giving me chores? _Hikaru mused inwardly but obediently did as instructed. Hikaru gave the bespectacled man three plates, then set a napkin and pair of chopsticks for each of them on the table. Sai had headed for the refrigerator, the narrow area of the kitchen forcing him to brush against Ogata's backside to get past him. Hikaru noted the way the blond man stiffened, scooting closer to the frying pan, eyes narrowing behind his glasses.

And then Ogata Seiji made sense to him.

_That...has the potential to be amusing,_ Hikaru thought suddenly, small smile turning his lips as he watched the two men concentrate on their separate tasks.

"Beer, juice, water, or tea?" Sai asked the other two.

"Beer," Ogata answered without pause.

"Beer!" Hikaru echoed with a wide grin. The grin grew at the unimpressed looks both men threw him.

Sai pulled out a Kirin beer and two bottles of Pocari Sweat. Ogata had pulled Hikaru back in to help carry out their food to the table, Sai trailing behind them and placing the drinks on the table after the plates had been settled. Hikaru flopped into his chair just as Sai sank into his, Ogata having returned to the kitchen to inspect the contents of the cupboards.

"Where's the dried edamame crackers?" he asked Sai.

"I...have those?" was Sai's weak response.

Ogata ignored him, having found said crackers lodged behind the two bags of Honey Twists that the Meijin had bought for Hikaru. There were definitely a lot more variety of snacks present than the last time Ogata had been over - a result of having a student now? The relationship between Sai and Hikaru seemed a bit more than just that but the ninth-dan wouldn't press it for now.

Ogata returned to his seat with the bag in hand. He doled some out onto Hikaru's plate at the boy's inquisitive stare, pouring some onto his own plate afterwards.

"I don't even like edamame crackers," Sai noted aloud, sounding just a tiny bit distressed.

Ogata gave him a very tolerant look, "Of course not. I got these."

Hikaru looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh.

"Let's eat," Ogata pushed. He gave Hikaru a smirk. "I promise it's edible, although even _carrion_ is probably better than anything _this _guy cooks up."

"_Seiji!"_

* * *

It was his first time shopping with Sai. Hikaru frowned at the numerous shirts and pants that littered the floor before him, each propped into a carefully-coordinated outfit. Sai's tastes were hard to gauge, given the man's personality: graceful and serene one moment, pitiful and childish the next. It was as vexing as it was endearing, but it made Sai's responses a bit harder to predict for Hikaru. This could be extended into his fashion; Sai dressed very well in suits but dressed rather plainly outside of formal events. The most flamboyant thing about the Go pro was his earrings but even they were understated to a certain degree.

Which outfit would Sai prefer to see Hikaru in?

….did Sai even have any such preference?

According to the man, he didn't. Hikaru was fairly certain that as long as he didn't go out looking too absurd, Sai wouldn't much care one way or another. He'd never said anything about Hikaru's fashion, even as his nail polish would sometimes veer into outright flamboyant or his hair accessories most decidedly feminine. Sai focused more on Hikaru's skills or his health, never giving much attention to how Hikaru dressed outside of making sure it was appropriate for the weather.

Which hinted at the subdued thought of, _should _Sai have a preference regarding what Hikaru wore?

_It's complicated now_, Hikaru mused, picking up a pair of salmon pink pants before discarding them after careful consideration. _He's made everything complicated._

Hikaru had been very good at playing his role. He dressed and acted accordingly for his customers, having gotten some experience with their more carnal tastes. Figuring out what they did and didn't like to look at was part of his new skill set.

But Sai had been adamant about 'Hikaru being Hikaru'. Personal tastes, such as food or fashion, shouldn't be so blatantly dictated by others. Sai had run through every available juice in his neighborhood's nearest convenience store for two straight weeks, trying to figure out which ones Hikaru actually preferred (and utterly ignoring Hikaru's "I like them all, Sai-san!"). He'd managed to deduce, through careful observation of both Hikaru's expressions and actions, that the boy liked strawberry Ramune best, preferred honeydew Calpis while doing homework, and absolutely hated peach-flavored anything. Hikaru hadn't known whether to be impressed or embarrassed by the pro's correct deductions.

Hikaru chose the dark red cargo pants with a blue belt, along with a cream-colored short-sleeved shirt whose front was dominated by the Union Jack and a plain black, long-sleeved shirt underneath. He'd wear his khaki-colored high top shoes to match but first he had to do something with his hair.

Hikaru tugged at his bangs in irritation. They'd need to be re-dyed and cut soon; they were starting to show at the roots and fall into his eyes. Hopefully Satomi would be free some time next week, since the last time Hikaru had tried to cut his hair himself, his bangs had been cut at an angle and Masaki hadn't stopped chuckling every time he saw him until Satomi took pity and fixed it.

He smoothed his bangs back and secured them in place with a wide, red yarn-knitted headband. Hikaru scrutinized himself in the bathroom mirror; he'd trimmed his eyebrows just a few days ago so there was no need for a touch-up yet. All in all, Hikaru thought he looked good.

He slipped his wallet, keys, and cellphone into his pockets. His eyes idled over the myriad of bracelets and necklaces he left stored in a simple box near his rolled up futon, but decided to forego the jewelry just in case Sai thought he was overdoing it already with the headband.

"...where are you going?"

Hikaru started but didn't pause in his tread towards the front door. He turned his attention to his mother as he passed her; she was reclined on the sofa, half her attention on the television as she took a long drag from her joint. By the smell alone, he knew it wasn't tobacco - she had been coughing pretty badly lately and he wondered if this new drug was the one responsible for scorching her throat. He couldn't find it in himself to really care, though.

"Does it matter?" he asked her, finally stopping to really gauge her response. It was curiosity, really - _did _it matter to her where he went? Had she finally noticed him?

She turned her face back towards the television, "Don't do anything stupid. You're already troublesome enough just being here."

Hikaru smiled at her, almost on reflex - then turned back to continue walking out, laughing the entire way.

* * *

Sai had told him to meet at Meguro station. It was a little farther out than Hikaru was used to but Sai did promise to reimburse him for his travelling expenses. The man had not been shy in pointing out that it would have been much easier to just meet at the pro's apartment and then leave together, but Hikaru had wanted the chance to get dressed up properly and had rejected him.

Sai waited for him by the southern exit. Hikaru noted in amusement the pro was dressed blandly - simple black slacks, a white button-up, and a dark blue sweater. His hair had been pulled back into a neat ponytail, some of the longer strands at the front left alone to brush at his cheeks. He was already starting to earn some envious gazes; a few girls here and there would titter as they passed him, gushing quietly over his looks.

_Too bad he's such a dork_, Hikaru mused. He raised a hand in hello and smiled as he neared the Go pro. Sai's responding smile was wide and sincere, alleviating some of the tension in Hikaru's shoulders as he measured it.

"So where did you want to go, Sai-san?" Hikaru asked, as the two exited the station. Sai had his attention on the sidewalk, looking chipper as can be. That was good, at least - Hikaru was still feeling a bit out of sorts and didn't know if he could muster up the energy to play along quite yet.

"There's a good furniture store on Interior Street," Sai explained. "It's called Geographica. We can get most of what we want there, but first I think we should get something to eat. You haven't eaten lunch yet, right?"

"Haha, this is just like a date," Hikaru sing-songed.

"But it's not," Sai stated in a tone that brooked no argument.

Hikaru hummed noncommittally, falling into step with the pro. Sai glanced at him as if to take stock but Hikaru didn't know what the man was looking for - or seeing, for that matter. He thought he saw a small frown flit across the pro's features but it was gone before he could be sure and a small smile resumed occupancy on the man's lips.

It was only a 20 minute walk but Sai filled up the time with idle chatter about everything, from dealing with a drunk Ogata to playing go in the pro leagues.

"I thought Go pros would be super boring," Hikaru mused aloud. "But you're so freakin' weird and Ogata-san just has this kind of sinister air around him. Your games must be so interesting..."

Sai looked way too pleased by this statement. Hikaru didn't know why; he's sure the man was complimented near-constantly just for being a Go pro.

"Children and adults, men and women - all can play go," Sai said, his smile turning soft - almost reverent. "Any game, from a beginner's to the top tier player's, can be beautiful."

_He's such a weirdo!_ Hikaru thought. He couldn't help but smile anyway.

They ended up stopping at a small family restaurant nestled between an ironworks store and handmade pottery stand. It was pretty crowded so they acquiesced to sharing their table with an elderly couple. The waitress - looking a bit harried but otherwise professionally cheerful - was prompt with service.

Ignoring his coke for now, Hikaru gave the menu a cursory look. In an establishment such as this place, Sai stood out; the man's very posture seemed regal and with his good looks, he'd be conspicuous in any place under four stars. It was the kind of look Yamaguchi had wished to have but instead he boasted his like a pig hoarding filth; Sai carried himself like the nobility without ever seeming arrogant about it. It was quite unlike anything Hikaru had ever seen before.

"What are you getting, Hikaru?" Sai asked.

"The garden salad." It was cheap and didn't add much in the way of calories.

Sai's eyes snapped up to meet their green counterparts, "That's not very filling. We should eat a hearty lunch because we'll be running around all day."

"I'll be fine," Hikaru dismissed, uncomfortable. Sai looked back down at the menu, an unreadable look on his face. These types of looks were becoming more common as the days went on; Sai appeared to be examining Hikaru's every move, somehow reading deeper into it and coming up with answers that left Hikaru feeling vulnerable.

The waitress returned with a strained smile to take their orders just as Hikaru forced himself to relax.

"I'll have the garden salad with the house dressing," Hikaru ordered. The waitress nodded, but when Hikaru didn't continue with a more substantial order, she turned to Sai with only the barest twitch in her expression.

Sai smiled at her, "We'll also have two orders of yakitori, one order of agedashi tofu, the house fried rice, the chicken wings, chili spaghetti, katsu-donburi, and, hm...the yakiniku looks good. We'll take an order of that as well."

The waitress's smile was bright, "I'll put your orders in right away then, sir!"

"We'll keep one menu, if it's not too much trouble. The parfaits here look delicious..."

She left with a tinkling laugh. Hikaru was staring at Sai with very wide eyes. "Uh...feeling pretty hungry today, Sai-san?"

"I suppose," Sai agreed winningly. "Everything looked so good! I expect your help in eating it, Hikaru~!"

How transparent. It was unbearably sweet.

Hikaru propped an elbow on the table, leaning his cheek against his upright fist. A small smile lit his lips, "I guess I can oblige you."

"So how's Ogata?" Hikaru asked.

Sai's face darkened almost comically. Hikaru wondered what exactly the man had done to get such a reaction, especially as Sai did not seem the type to hold grudges against friends.

"He's fine," Sai's expression turned troubled. "Hikaru...what do you think of Ogata?"

This was starting to sound ridiculously like a nervous parent gauging their child's opinion on a possible new step-parent. Hikaru bit back a laugh.

"He's cool," Hikaru shrugged. "I didn't expect Go players like him. He's...interesting." In an amusing way, at least.

Hikaru didn't know what Sai chose to make of that - the pro only nodded in response. The silence wasn't uncomfortable between them but it did give Hikaru an unintended opportunity to eavesdrop on the elderly couple next to them. The elderly pair sharing their table were discussing in excited tones the exploits of their toddler grandson. Hikaru hadn't meant to overhear but the close proximity made it hard. The way the grandfather proudly declared the boy got his sense of adventure from him sent a spike of irritation into Hikaru's heart.

"So what are we getting, furniture-wise?" Hikaru asked, if only to distract himself.

Sai shuffled through his pockets, pulling out a folded piece of paper with a small cry of triumph. He looked it over analytically, dark eyes oddly concentrated as they roved over the words. "Well, I was thinking we had a bit of remodeling ahead of us so we actually have a fair bit of shopping to do. Unfortunately, my apartment isn't that big.

"From Geographica, we can get the bookshelves, an entertainment center, and a new bedset for you. There's a linen shop about a block away where we can get some blankets and pillows, and we'll have to take the rail to Akihabara - I want to get a TV and some more books for you to read there."

Hikaru was openly staring at him, "That's...quite a list. Why does it feel like I'm moving in with you?"

"Because you practically are," Sai stated point-blank. He held Hikaru's eyes, keeping his voice even and sincere as he spoke. "And that's a good thing, Hikaru."

Hikaru looked away with a small shrug, "I guess so. I'll need to go back to my mom's place every now and then, though."

Sai nodded, "I suppose that's fair..."

He looked like he wanted to say more but kept his words at bay, instead taking a sip from his drink. Unused to the silence stretching between them, Hikaru began to talk about both anything and nothing. It was something he'd gotten used to doing out of necessity; he had never wanted to bore a customer before and the ones who usually picked him did so believing he was a chatterer.

It wasn't that Hikaru was quiet - just that even he had his moments where he preferred to think to himself rather than fill in the void with meaningless talk. But that wasn't what he was bought for and he'd learned quickly enough that people would listen to anything he said so long as it was what they expected him to say.

Sai listened, making the proper sounds to show he was listening to Hikaru drone on. There was a speculative glint to his eyes that Hikaru found hard to decipher, but with each passing comment Hikaru found his audience's understanding grow sharper and sharper.

Hikaru almost felt relieved when the waitress returned with their food. Fortunately, the elderly couple had finished their own meal and were now only quietly conversing over identical cups of tea, leaving most of the free space empty on the table. Sai and the waitress tried as best as they could to keep most of the dishes on the appropriate side, although some couldn't help but be pushed closer and closer to the other side. The elderly pair waved off their younger counterparts' concerns with gentle smiles, assuring them that it was fine and no trouble.

Hikaru had been careful about rationing his own food. It wasn't some misguided attempt at dieting - that was mostly a concern for the girls and most of the older Gate workers. No, Hikaru had only ever worried about seeming like a pig when dining out with a client. That's why he took smaller portions and tried to avoid ordering for himself while out. It was much easier to let the client play out their fantasy date when they did all of the work and Hikaru just had to play along.

It had been unusual with Yamaguchi - the man forced five-star restaurant food down his throat in a show of superiority, only to be followed by the most depraved of acts. Kousaka had simply never bothered; the only edible things he bought for Hikaru were a pack of lollipops to make up for how badly he'd treated the boy the night before. (The amount of candy always matched the number of bruises he'd wake up with.) Amekura was more natural, choosing mundane courses but always doing the ordering for Hikaru. It was as obvious a show of control that the piano teacher ever showed.

They would never push him to eat more, unconcerned with his eating habits as other things filled their mind while Hikaru was with them. That's why it was a bit surprising when Sai - keeping up bright chatter about the son of his non-Ogata Go pro friend or something - casually and continually added more food to his plate than Hikaru first picked at. Soon enough, their plates were even in the amount of food and Hikaru couldn't help but stare at his in bemusement.

It wasn't that he was always starving, per se - but it was still a rare occurrence to feel completely full these days. It had gotten easier, in a way, after he took up working under Masaki; those first few months after his mom stopped caring whether he ate or not had been beyond terrible. It felt as if his stomach was under revolt and he'd even resorted to stealing scraps outside of convenience stores - if he wasn't shoplifting from them. Having food to eat that he wouldn't be paying for - with either his own money or body - felt like a novelty at this point.

Only after they'd already demolished more than half of their food did Sai pick up talking again. "Do you remember Seiji saying something about insei?"

Hikaru swallowed his bite of chili spaghetti, trying to rack his brain to identify the word. While Ogata hadn't been over long, that didn't seem to deter the man from gleefully explaining certain aspects of the Go pro life to Hikaru. Some of the explanations hadn't seemed very impartial but Hikaru attributed that to Ogata's colorful personality.

"Seiji-san said, and I quote, "They're annoying little brats that are better at Go than most other annoying little brats, but they think that just because they can impress some lax-handed fourth-dan that they have a right to shoot off their obnoxious, ignorant-"

"_Yes_, well, I see he certainly taught you _something_," Sai interrupted, face turning red - although it was hard to tell whether it was from embarrassment or anger. Hikaru would have laughed at the man's expression, but he was too busy being impressed by his own Ogata imitation that he hadn't noticed.

"And whatever a 'honinbou' is, I'm pretty certain you don't want to be it," Hikaru added. "He seemed particularly visceral about that title."

"...he's always been a bit intense," Sai allowed hollowly.

Hikaru snorted, "I'll say." _It's hard to tell what he wants to fuck more, you or the Go board._

"Well, aside from Seiji's...interesting description of insei," Sai started again, picking up the momentum he had lost. "All you really need to know about them is that they're notable young Go players. They enter the insei program to better their skills, and those that are in the top 16 are actually allowed to play in the Go examinations without having to go through the preliminaries."

"Sounds exciting," Hikaru commented. He didn't look very excited. It wasn't the aspect of Go playing that caused the disinterest - he was slowly but surely becoming enthralled with the game. Hikaru liked the fact that he was learning a new skill that had nothing to do with 'Itsuka'. Go was becoming something that gave him the feeling of a new breath of life, free from the cogs and wheels of Itsuka and the Gate. Go was _Hikaru's_ and _Hikaru's alone._

No, what caused that lack of interest was the prospect of spending money. Enrolling in something as prestigious as a Go program surely wasn't free; Hikaru was having enough trouble keeping up with his own food, school, and phone expenses. Becoming an insei would mean taking on more than just Amekura.

"I was thinking of enrolling you in it," Sai said.

Hikaru almost choked on his bite of yakitori. He managed to swallow it down with a generous gulp of coke, taking in Sai's determined expression even as the man fiddled with his agedashi tofu.

"Sai-san," Hikaru began tentatively, barely stifling the urge to yelp out an exasperated 'what the hell are you thinking?' "I've only played one game of Go that wasn't shidougo - and I didn't even get to finish it. I don't think I'd last more than a couple moves in against what sounds like the young elite of the Go world."

Sia set his chopsticks down, looking both surprised and troubled. "Well, of course I didn't intend on enrolling you now, Hikaru! I mean a little further down the road, when you've gained a bit more experience."

Hikaru cocked his head to the side in question, "Experience? How? I'm not exactly surrounded by ample opportunities to play, or even people around my level to play..." Especially since Tomorou was still hanging around the Gate (and subsequently, Shanhai) like a particularly destructive parasite.

Sai's face brightened instantly, as if something really good came to mind. "Don't you have a Go club at school? Why don't you join it?"

Hikaru snorted, muttering an inaudible "I'm pretty sure I gave that club president some experience of his own..."

Sai blinked, "What?"

"I said I can't pay the club fees," Hikaru replied stoically. _Assuming they're large enough to have them._

Sai looked even happier, "Oh, it's that big? Don't worry, Hikaru - I can pay them for you. You don't need to worry about school expenses!"

Another thought seemed to enter the pro's had, as the man's expression slowly soured. Something unpleasant, then; Hikaru steeled himself, already half-suspecting what would next come out of Sai's mouth.

"Hikaru...you don't pay your own tuition, do you?" Sai asked. His tone was carefully bland, but there was a hard coldness to his eyes that suggested he already knew the answer to his question.

Hikaru was inclined to lie. He almost did, in that moment; he would have said anything just so that Sai wouldn't look so frightening. But somehow, Hikaru knew that Sai would be able to call his fib; it screamed out from the very posture of the man. Hikaru wondered if his body language was as easy to read as Sai made it out to be.

"You won't like the answer to that, Sai-san," Hikaru answered carefully. It was the only reply he could think of that still left him room to lie later. Just in case.

Sai stilled. The table was lurched into a stiff silence, shadows falling across the Meijin's face as the elderly couple stood and left, chattering amicably all the while - in sharp contrast to severe atmosphere around their former tablemates.

"No," Sai allowed softly. "I suppose I won't."

Then he pushed the rest of the yakiniku onto Hikaru's plate in a clear command to eat more.

* * *

They'd left the restaurant 45 minutes later, but that was only because Sai just _had _to try the green tea parfait, and didn't the mango-almond parfait look so good, Hikaru? Thus Hikaru found himself uncomfortably full and walking in step with the older man as they made their way to their next destination.

Geographica was four stories tall, lit mostly by antiquated hanging chandeliers and thoroughly crowded by every piece of furniture imaginable. On the outside, it looked compact and fit into the crowded mold of Interior Street; it was all sharp angles and without much spark, especially in contrast to the flashing neon lights and leering patrons of the joints that Hikaru usually found himself at. Inside, most of the interior was shining tiled floors interspersed with the occasional square of burgundy carpeting, the furniture itself dark-paneled wood of Western origin and looking elegant.

A man caught notice of Hikaru first, initially looking dismissive - until his eyes found Sai. A smile lit the his face as he made his way forward, weaving past furniture and people alike as he approached. He didn't look like a salesperson, donned as he was in a tidy suit, but the way he carried himself was with an air of authority. _Manager, or something close to it,_ Hikaru filed away internally. He had as little interest in conversing with the man as the man did upon first seeing him, and thus fell back a step from Sai, welcoming the anonymity as Sai's attention fell to the greeter.

"Fujiwara-san! Welcome, welcome!" the man greeted cordially, professional smile on full-force. Hikaru spitefully thought his own was better but wisely didn't voice this opinion. Just because Sai had resumed his usual good cheer didn't mean Hikaru couldn't tell there was still something bothering the older male.

"Hirano-san!" Sai nodded. "It's been a long time. I'm glad to see business is doing well."

The man chortled, "All thanks to our kindly investors and customers! I heard about your last match - I was telling my wife all about you, you see! We were so impressed when you..."

Hikaru tuned out the conversation. Although partially hidden behind Sai, he could feel a few stares on him; most were from curious workers of the store, intrigued by their manager's near-simpering attitude to the beautiful man before him. A passing couple gave Hikaru a disgruntled look after a once-over of his outfit but quickly switched their focus back to the dining table they were solemnly critiquing.

Hikaru's eyes caught on an older man further in, besides the cluttered aisle of posh stools and bar chairs. He looked well-off - well, everyone looked well-off in this store - dressed in a finely-tailored suit and graying hair combed back into a neat style. He was facing the chairs, but every so often his eyes would glance over at Hikaru. Hikaru caught his eye purposely, making sure to hold the man's gaze as he drew his lips up into a slow smile.

A sweater-clad back promptly blocked his view.

Hikaru blinked up at Sai, who had yet to stop casually chatting with the manager of the store. For a moment, he thought the man had done it unintentionally and tried to step around him - only to have Sai clamp a hand on his shoulder as he finished off his conversation with a winning smile and a "I'm actually here to buy a few pieces, Hirano-san. I've decided to remodel my apartment, you see."

Hirano looked like he'd just about throw himself to the floor in a mix of gratitude and elation. "Then you came to the right place, Fujiwara-san! What pieces in particular were you interested in? Furniture, kitchen, decorative-?"

Sai told the man what he was looking for, which had Hirano gearing up to give them the grand tour. The manager even barked at a few of his employees to pull out the best pieces the store had in stock. The man that had been making eyes at Hikaru earlier had looked mildly thoughtful before his gaze traveled away from the boy and to the man next to him. Hikaru didn't know what he saw - but whatever it was caused his face to flush paper white before he turned and hurried away, shuffling further into the cluttered aisle of stools and out of sight. When Hikaru turned to look at Sai, the man had resumed his politely smiling face.

"We're looking for a space-conserving bedset. Hirano-san," Sai said, starting to follow the man as he lead them further into the store. Hikaru followed, still looking mildly puzzled by what happened earlier. "Something good for a teenager."

Hirano glanced back at Hikaru, looking thoughtful. "I understand. We have quite a few furniture designs that are becoming popular now!"

Hikaru couldn't have cared less. Thus he was given another mild shock when, as they reached the display room with the latest trending bedroom designs, Sai turned to him and told him to pick whichever one he liked best. Hirano seemed equally shocked but dutifully stepped out of the way to give Hikaru a better view.

Hikaru's eyes trailed over the closest one. There were no price tags. _That expensive, huh?_ Hikaru mused, feeling pressured. It was one thing to get free meals and lodging from Sai, but it was another to be given free reign to buy whatever he wanted. It was more than just buying furniture; it was cementing a place for him to stay at, as if he were laying claim to that apartment.

He was designing his home.

Hikaru, understandably, froze.

Sai quietly thanked Hirano but then requested he leave Sai and Hikaru alone to "better decide things." Hirano, ever eager to please, ushered both himself and the accompanying salesgirl out of the showroom to give them Sai's desired alone time.

"I'm fine with whatever you get, Sai-san," Hikaru said as soon as Hirano disappeared from sight.

"But I want you to pick, Hikaru," Sai replied instantly. It sounded as if he had expected this.

"It doesn't matter to me, it's your place," Hikaru returned.

Sai was quiet for a moment. Alone in the room, they stood apart; Sai was stationed closer to the door, fingers ghosting over the dresser of a bedroom set designed for a girl. His eyes were on Hikaru standing a few meters away, the boy having idled further in at Sai's prodding. He was partially leaning against the desk of what looked to be the bedroom set designed for a college student, his own green eyes latched somewhere over Sai's shoulder in hopes of creating the illusion of looking straight at the man.

"Hikaru," Sai began softly. "It's supposed to be your home too."

It wasn't that Hikaru was surprised by the statement - it was more that he was shocked Sai would state the reason so openly. Embarrassed incredulity colored itself across the boy's face as he turned to stare at the nearest furniture set in search of a distraction.

"I don't think we need to get a whole _bedset_," Hikaru said, shuffling forward. Sai followed obligingly, eyes roaming over each set passed in interest. "I don't need much."

"This isn't about _necessity_," Sai stated. "Hikaru - which do you like best? It's your choice."

Hikaru would have frozen at the last word but his own reflexes dictated he continue walking. There was barely a twitch in his expression as he moved forward, but Sai noted something amiss; the boy's shoulders had tensed like a cornered animal and there was an intangible air of discontent that Sai could not find the reason for.

Hikaru stopped before a full-sized bed. The sheets were of a sheer material, looking almost metallic gray under the hanging light's illumination. The frame was of a darkly-varnished wood, the headboard carved into an elegant pattern that mimed the patterns of leaves falling from branches. It smelled new, looked untouched, and the pillows were arranged in a conspicuously decadent fashion.

_Clever_, Hikaru mused. _You're so clever, aren't you?_

Hikaru picked up one of the pillows. It was square and fluffed to such a degree it was practically sturdy. The case was the color of a dead, dusty coal, patterned with shining silver thread that stretched up like the body of a tree. Shaped cloves of a softened plastic that shined back like fine pearls mimicked the place of leaves that lined every silver branch. It was beautiful, with both purpose and order.

Hikaru pelted it straight at Sai's face.

Sai's yelp of surprise was muffled by the pillow rebounding off of his mouth and nose. Some strands of his hair were momentarily caught and pulled forth from his neat ponytail. Reflexively brushing the loose strands out of the way, he was too late to stop Hikaru; the boy had already jumped atop the display bedset, rumpling the sheets and kicking off the pillows with his street shoes.

"Hikaru, what are you-?!"

"Whatever I damn well want," Hikaru sneered back - just before jumping atop the dresser. He strolled across it without care, jumping off it and taking off for the next bedset. Sai rushed after him but wasn't able to stop him in time. The boy had yanked the comforter off with a wide smile and a "I like the color of this one!" The mountain of pillows atop fell to the side, scattering off the burgundy carpeting and onto the tiled floor.

"But it doesn't really match my eyes, does it?" Hikaru noted, tossing the comforter over the mirror attached to the dresser. The screws squealed with the sound of poor craftsmanship, the mirror knocked off-kilter by the sudden force. The top brass knot at the mirror's corner pulled at the fabric and tore a small hole through it.

Hikaru pelted off towards the next set; an obnoxiously pink one complete with all the lace and frills of pompous little princesses. It was a canopy bed this time, but he hadn't got much farther than leaping atop it before slim hands attempted to get a hold of him. Hikaru twisted his body around, throwing himself to the side and further onto the bed - taking Sai with him. The man fell forward onto the duvet covers unceremoniously. The sudden shift in weight also threw Hikaru off balance and with one hand on the canopy, he tore it straight off as he went down under Sai's weight.

The canopy - the color a pink so light that it was reminiscent of newly-healed scars - fell across Sai's head and shoulders like the wedding veil of a bride. The older man was breathing rather heavily, unused to the sudden sprint across the showroom floor. Hikaru's eyes found his face, an unrepentant smirk spread across the child's lips that didn't quite match the sad quality in his green eyes.

Still bewildered, Sai sat up. "Are you okay?"

Hikaru's eyes widened, the smirk falling off his face to be replaced by a near-vulnerable expression only shades lighter than the first one Sai had seen.

"Hikaru? Are you hurt?" Sai pressed again, worried tone seeping into every word.

"...No," Hikaru negated wryly.

Sai released a small breath in relief. Then his eyes hardened, staring down at his charge with a disapproving look on his face. "What was all of that about, Hikaru? You've caused quite a bit of damage, you know-"

"I know," Hikaru cut off abruptly. His bemused expression began to morph into a rebellious one. "But it was my _choice_ to do it."

Sai's mouth snapped closed. He stared at Hikaru, hard - what was the boy trying to get at? The word choice itself hinted at something Hikaru had found personal offense with, and whatever had set off that destructive little display was something Sai needed to know. That Hikaru's antics could be set off so explosively and in such a short time...

"You," Sai tried tentatively. "You aren't comfortable with choosing things for yourself?"

"I'm not comfortable with the _illusion of choice!"_

Hikaru practically spit the words in his face, his expression a caricature of anger that twisted his mouth and narrowed his eyes. He withdrew immediately, pulling himself back against the headboard; the torn remnants of the canopy cast shadowed spots over his face and shoulders, the metallic clang of his belt clinking against the aged, golden metal of the headboard grating loudly in the silence.

Sai's hands fisted the covers, "I don't understand. Hikaru, this isn't a trick."

Why was Hikaru breathing so hard? "Of course it is. Just because the things you're asking me to choose are different from the usual doesn't make you any different from the other. You can't _buy _me into getting better."

Surprise, anger, and righteous indignation - it was amazing to Hikaru how easily Sai could be read sometimes. "Hikaru-"

"It doesn't matter what I want because in the end, you're only getting it because it's something that _you _want for _me_!" Hikaru snapped back accusingly.

_Always_. Hikaru had never wanted _any _of it. He didn't want the clothes - he'd only gotten them because that's what the client liked to see him in. Whenever he pulled on an outfit, it was never for his own enjoyment; it was donning a costume to better hide the ugly thing underneath. The food - no matter how fancy or mundane - always tasted like ash in his mouth under their eyes. The gameboy that he'd gotten felt more like an accessory he wore to meet the criteria of what it meant to be a normal child. It didn't matter what he owned because there wasn't one part of it that he'd ever gotten just because he _wanted _it. Hikaru didn't have the time or energy to meet his wants - just his needs.

"Then we'll get nothing," Sai murmured.

Hikaru laughed - a choked, self-deprecating thing. "Oh, are you punishing me now?"

Sai gave a small sigh in response. He suddenly looked a thousand times more tired, although his breath was no longer labored. "Hikaru, if you don't want a new bedset - then we don't need to get one. I just thought you'd be more comfortable on an actual bed than on the sofa."

"So now it's about my _comfort_? How heart-warming," Hikaru scoffed.

Irritation rose and faded sharply within Sai. "I just wanted you to feel at ease-"

"Yeah, thanks for that," Hikaru cut off testily. "Most of them always did try to make me feel comfortable first, so I guess you get points for trying-"

"_I'm nothing like them!"_

It was hard to tell who was more surprised by Sai's outburst - Hikaru or Sai. But the former was definitely made more irate about it, if the vicious sneer resulting was any indication.

"Believe me - you are very similar," Hikaru bit out.

Which _hurt_, more than Sai could articulately describe. To be made equal to the monsters that had twisted Hikaru into what he was now - the very idea was not only infuriating, but nauseating. Sai stiffened up abruptly, turning around to have his back to Hikaru and putting his legs back over the side of the bed so his feet once again met the floor. He whipped the fallen canopy off of him, letting it tumble from his fingers and fall to the floor without care.

"I would never do what they did to you," Sai stated softly. His voice and tone were tightly-controlled, not a slip of emotion betrayed only by the fingers he had shakingly choking the life out from the sheets.

"Of course not," Hikaru retorted. "You can't even bring yourself to fucking _hug_ me."

Sai froze, head whipping around to pin the boy with wide eyes. "Wha- Is that what this is about?"

"I was under the impression this was about a lot of things," Hikaru snipped.

Sai was not to be deterred, "Hikaru..."

"I just want to know why," Hikaru said quietly. He had curled more into himself at this point, his words nearly muffled by his own arms as he pushed himself further away from Sai and into the headboard. "You're so eager to comfort me but you're too fucking scared to touch me."

Sai was quiet for a long moment. He turned to look back out over the room, dark eyes roving over the path of destruction Hikaru had left behind him as he tore through the showroom. It was a testament to how powerful his name was that even at the sounds of destruction, Hirano and his employees had not returned. Sai waited quietly as Hikaru's breathing began to resume its more steady rhythm. There was no need for Hikaru to be scared - not of Sai. Never of Sai.

"Because I am scared," Sai admitted.

No noise behind him, but Hikaru had steeled like leaden weight upon the bed. Sai couldn't bring himself to face the boy. He knew he must say this, explain himself and his actions but he wasn't sure he could be so truthful if he had to watch the emotions his words would bring about on Hikaru's face. It was much easier to tell a white lie for comfort than admit the unstable truth of his every move. If he didn't have to look into those green eyes and see the damage clear as day, then he could answer as honestly as Hikaru wanted him to.

"I don't even know what I'm doing, if it will help you in any way," Sai continued on. "I can't bring myself to touch you because I want you to see me as differently from those- others. I don't want you to be afraid of my touch, I want you to trust me enough to not doubt it - but I don't know how to go about doing it. I thought the distance would help you better understand me."

Sai leaned forward, cupping his eyes as he propped his elbows atop his thighs. The loose strands of his hair slid forwards over his shoulders to dangle freely. "But it seems like half the time I'm just floundering about and I don't think I've helped you very much at all. I don't want to hurt you, I want you to trust me - but I'm so terrified of the possibility of _losing_ _you_ that it's paralyzing."

He hadn't got any further before hands pulled Sai down at the shoulders, forcing him onto his back to stare up in muted surprise at the boy hovering above him. Hikaru was glaring down at him but it was a look curiously devoid of anger.

"So you put up an _act?"_ Hikaru demanded. "How can I ever feel relaxed around you when you're calculating every move you make around me? _When you're not even yourself?"_

Hikaru picked up another pillow to bat futilely against a wide-eyed Sai. "You _idiot_! You're such an _idiot_!" the boy cried over and over again. "You're not my doctor, Sai - _so don't act like one!"_

Would family act so restrained around each other? Hikaru didn't know enough about what it meant to be a family but he was sure that it was more natural than that. Even those in the Gate did not bother with their acts amongst each other. If Sai wanted to be trusted to such a degree that he was willing to take Hikaru under his wing, then to Hikaru - it didn't make sense to leash oneself for the other party. To be honest, to be true to yourself - how could you expect it of someone else when you yourself aren't willing to do the same?

"I'm sorry," Sai said. It started out as a whisper, almost just the movement of his lips. But he repeated it again - louder and steadier. He sat up, turning and reaching out to grab hold of one of Hikaru's hands. He pulled the pillow from its grasp, holding it between his own and eyes looking into Hikaru's face. "I'm sorry, Hikaru. I won't - I will try not to act like someone I'm not around you anymore. Please - I'm sorry."

Hikaru almost sighed as tears predictably began to run down the man's face. In some sense, the sight of those tears was- reassuring. Proof that Sai had truly understood what Hikaru had said to him and meant the vow he swore.

It seemed that they both had things to learn about what it meant to be a family.

* * *

Hirano had been shocked - an understatement - at the state of his showroom when the pair had finally exited. Sai had decided to pay for completely new sets to make up for the ones that had been trashed, against Hirano's hollow-ringing denials. Hikaru had felt quite ashamed of himself after the fact, unwilling to look anyone in the eye while in Geographica.

Just to make up for the time lost and property damaged, Sai also relented into buying a rather simple furniture set: a black, steel-framed set arranged in a mimicry of a bunk bed. The bottom was that of a desk, a small, two-layered bookshelf to the left and enough empty space to the right for both a computer and small printer. An overarching shelf above it was narrow enough to be meant only for decoration. The top was a simple futon bed; big enough for a single person. The ladder was built into both sides of the bedset.

Sai had paid to have it delivered and assembled for tomorrow afternoon. He'd opted to forego the entertainment center for now, or just pick it out himself at a later date; he knew Hikaru would appreciate a TV but didn't really want to give his own input on it either way. He lead Hikaru down one block to the linen store to pick up some sheets for the new bed. They'd managed to compromise on three different sets, although that had been rather long and tedious given their mutual reluctance to give their own opinion on anything.

Only once they'd gotten on the train to take them to Akihabara did Sai's spirits really pick up in a noticeable fashion. "Let's get a snack before we go shopping!"

"Why are you so excited to eat?" Hikaru asked blandly.

Akihabara was bustling on a Sunday afternoon. Sai wasn't paying much notice to the crowds as he made his way through them, even though some appreciative persons gawked a little when they caught sight of the pretty man up close. Hikaru was paying more attention to the fashion of those they passed, intrigued by some designs he hadn't seen before if he wasn't otherwise criticizing it.

They stopped at a small shop for a snack. Boba milk teas in hand, they window shopped for a good long hour; Sai seemed especially enthused at all of the specialty shops that lined the backstreets. Hikaru had had to pull him away from some that showed some dubious material - the girls inside of one tittered loudly at Sai's attempt at entering - but eventually they'd found their way to Ishimaru Denki - the brand name electronics store.

Hikaru hung by the cellphone accessories aisle, perusing them inquisitively; he'd never cared enough to accessorize his phone, but some of the charms looked rather interesting. His attention was arrested by the odd assortment of small animals drowning in jars of brightly-colored liquid, and what looked to be a mini-goban at the end of one strap.

With Hikaru otherwise entertained, Sai headed in the direction of the television aisle. He didn't really know the first thing about them, but it certainly wasn't long before an attended had seemingly appeared out of nowhere to help him. He knew enough about the own dimensions of his apartment that he didn't need a uselessly huge one, so he settled for one of the medium-sized ones that came with its own stand. Another 15 minutes were spent filling out the necessary paperwork and paying for both the television and its delivery. Hikaru had moved on from cellphone accessories - with none in hand, Sai noted - towards the CD aisle. Sai was just about to join him - it looked as if Hikaru was perusing with focused intent - but got distracted by the row of desktops just next to the CD aisle.

That's when Sai felt the stab of a genius plan.

It didn't take long to get the attention of another store employee, this one specializing in computers. Sai didn't need the computer to do much - just get a connection to the internet. The young man was plenty helpful, pointing out the pros and cons of each brand. Sai decided he didn't need a desktop right away, preferring the ease of the laptop instead.

He settled on the latest Toshiba brand laptop. It was about 190 thousand yen without tax, but it was sleek enough that he could carry it home without much trouble. Hikaru returned to his side while Sai was purchasing it, his own items in hand. He refused Sai's offer to buy the things for him, paying for them himself.

Sai had only glimpsed over the cover of the CDs. One was classical music but the foreign words were unintelligible to Sai, regardless of the sticker in Japanese that translated it. The second was Enka singer Fuji Keiko's "_Woman in Shinjuku_", while the last looked to be of the jazz genre. Interesting choices that Sai thought didn't really fit Hikaru - but then again, maybe this Hikaru had a different taste in music.

"I think we kind of went on a shopping spree today," Hikaru pointed out, giving the shopping bag Sai carried a curious look.

"All for a good cause," Sai cheered happily. "I'd say let's find a restaurant to eat at but I'm a bit exhausted. Let's just get something for take-out and eat it at home - is that okay?"

Hikaru shrugged in easy acceptance, "As long as you're not cooking!"

"Hikaru-!"

* * *

Hikaru felt both emotionally and physically drained by the time they made it back to Sai's apartment. This wasn't like the other shopping trips he partook in, which he was made painfully aware of every time he looked over at the bags of bedsheets Sai left near the entrance of the hallway. Reminded of the episode he threw in Geographica, Hikaru felt heat creep up into his cheeks.

He couldn't believe he could act so...childishly. He'd been aware of Sai's careful movements since the first time they'd met and while it had slowly begun to grate on him, he didn't realize it had affected him to such an extent that he'd throw a fit over it.

The stress of his shift in perspective, combined with his ties to the Gate and Sai's too-easy acceptance of the responsibility of Hikaru in his life, had moved Hikaru into a fragile emotional state. Any great change in anyone's life was stressful - but on the shoulders of a child who doesn't easily trust others, it was suffocating.

Hikaru had never dared dream of rescue. He had cast off his naïveté the moment it was taken in that motel room. Now to have Sai willingly buy him anything and everything in an effort to make his life easier - not only was it astounding, it was frightening. It was too good to be true and Hikaru had learned early on not to trust the hands held out to him for aide. On a conscious level, Hikaru knew Sai was different from the others - or at least Hikaru wished him to be. On a subconscious level, it was a whole different story; one that Hikaru wasn't ready to delve into yet.

Sai had picked up some pre-cooked traditional fare from the small restaurant about three blocks away. The fish was a bit too dry and the miso soup a bit watery, but Hikaru knew that it would still taste way better in comparison to Sai's home cooking.

One bottle of Pocari Sweat in hand, Hikaru made himself comfortable on the sofa as Sai sat down next to him, pulling out his purchase from Ishimaru Denki. Hikaru leaned forward in interest - he'd never seen a laptop before. All of the internet cafes (which he only ever passed by) had desktops, as did the computer system in the Gate. He mentally tried to tally up the prices of everything Sai had purchased today - a staggering amount. Geographica alone was already well into the hundreds of thousands of yen, then combined with everything else...

_Just how much do professional Go players make?_ Hikaru wondered. Maybe he'd look it up later.

Sai was terrible at set up. He couldn't even manage to get the laptop booted up by himself. Eventually Hkaru took pity and started to help; he may not be a genius technician but for the most part it was pretty much common sense. How the man could have missed the cue to even plug the thing in was beyond Hikaru.

Between the two of them, it took just a little under an hour to get the laptop up and running proficiently. Hikaru took over checking over the display and running through the set-up programs, as Sai's befuddled exasperation could only be amusing for so long. Just as he pronounced the laptop to be in working order, Sai was back at his side with a steaming cup of tea in hand.

"There's actually something I want you to check out," Sai confided, looking far too eager. "Can you open up the internet browser and search for NetGo?"

Hikaru did as instructed, already knowing what he'd find - and sure enough, it was an online Go playing site. How Sai even knew it existed to begin with given his lack of deftness with a computer was a mystery, but then again, Sai's entire existence was a mystery. Hikaru was sure he'd hurt something in his head trying to figure the man out.

"Why don't you make an account!" Sai suggested brightly.

_Of course_, Hikaru inwardly mused. _Well, at least I can play games with someone other than Sai and Shanhai..._

The registration was free but Hikaru had to use Sai's email address as his back-up verification. He stared at the Username box for several minutes, trying to come up with anything other than **'Itsuka'**. He almost entered the English '**Fifth_Day**' but he was consciously trying to distance his life as Itsuka from Go now and found anything relating to it unsuitable.

Sai hadn't said anything in the meanwhile, seemingly enjoying his cup of tea as he waited for Hikaru to finish registering. The boy finally settled on **'wisteria' **and was glad to found it not taken. Sai had choked a bit on his cup of tea, although whether that was from the effeminate username or the fact that it was taken from the kanji that made up 'Fujiwara', Hikaru wasn't sure.

"I think you're around a 10-kyu level at this point, but you have to earn your way up it seems," Sai said as Hikaru ran through the site tutorial. "Find someone between 10 and 7-kyu - they should be a good match for you-"

For the second time within the hour, Sai choked on his next breath. Hikaru gave him an exasperated look - Sai felt slightly indignant about the boy's patronizing glances - but his eyes went back to the screen to see what had thrown the other man off.

"S-Seiji!" Sai stuttered out, staring at the username on the website labelled as active. True, while in the coma-verse Ogata had been a patron of NetGo - that didn't mean it necessarily held true for the reality. Frankly, Sai had never thought to ask, as he'd never used such sites before. But to see the username '**seiji**' plain as day before him...

"Oh, is that Seiji-san's account?" Hikaru asked casually. "So there are even some pros on here? That doesn't seem very fair..."

"I'm not sure it's him," Sai corrected. "I-It just surprised me..."

Hikaru rose an eyebrow at him. "Why does seeing his name shock you so much...?"

Sai certainly wasn't going to explain anything about the coma-verse to Hikaru at this point. Not only would the boy not believe a word of it, Sai was sure he would take Sai's investment in his health as an insult if he heard it had come about because of a dream he had.

"Well whatever, I guess I'll just ask him if it's him," Hikaru waved off, pulling out his cellphone.

Sai openly gaped at him, "Wh-What?"

Hikaru was already jotting down and sending a message. With a melodious ring, the message proclaimed itself sent.

"Why do you have his phone number?" Sai demanded. What exactly had Ogata and Hikaru been talking about in those few moments Sai had left them alone together?!

Hikaru deigned to glance over at the Meijin with a wicked grin. "Seiji-san and I exchanged numbers while you were washing the dishes. He offered to play a Go game with me whenever I wanted."

That was certainly unlike Ogata. Needlessly involving himself with a kid that wasn't Akira was uncharacteristic for the aloof man that Sai was instantly suspicious. But what could Ogata want from Hikaru...?

_Perhaps he finds my investment in Hikaru interesting and worth keeping in notice?_ Sai mused to himself.

Hikaru's phone chirped out a robotic tune. "It's him," Hikaru said aloud, flipping his phone closed and turning his attention back to the laptop. He sent a short message to NetGo user **seiji** telling him it was Hikaru and asking for a match. Under a minute later, a game request was sent back, which Hikaru readily accepted.

Sai took this as his cue to step back. He intended to mentor Hikaru in Go and foster him in life - but Hikaru could only grow through that which he experienced. In Go, he would need to play these games under his own power. Sai had seen the budding interest in his student's eyes, had gleaned the power that was growing silently with every game Hikaru played - and now it was time for Hikaru to enter that world on his own two feet like every player before him.

* * *

Hikaru had been given black. He started out tentatively in the corners, hoping to secure territory there as his starting moves. He knew Ogata was strong - he was a pro, of course, which made this game shidougo. That didn't mean Hikaru would take it any less seriously, especially as this was the first pro besides Sai he would be playing against. Ogata was assuredly brilliant, but in a different way than Sai - which made this match so very interesting.

Once they had secured their distinctive corners, Hikaru did not wait for Ogata to make the first move; he started with the san-ren-sei opening, wanting to increase his influence before his opponent decided further enclosing his own corners wasn't his plan anymore.

Hikaru approached Ogata's corner position at the star point. He kept in mind his game against Shanhai; while Ogata knew himself to be superior, he would be too experienced to let himself be blinded by it. They didn't start off at even ground, which meant Hikaru would have to be trickier - Ogata could easily suspect something given his experience playing against Sai (which Hikaru assumed they did).

Ogata answered with a pincering play. Hikaru only played a few hands more against him but decided to let the battle for the corner go, given that Ogata had already destroyed his shape by cutting it to shreds. (Sai made a mental note to work more with Hikaru on joseki. The butchery that had occurred in that corner could have avoided.) Hikaru returned to his first group, defending against his opponent's attempt at a counter-attack. While he retained one eye, he lost another shortly after and could do nothing for the now-dead cluster.

Upon the right side of the board, Hikaru placed an inconsequential stone; Ogata didn't bother attacking that one stone, leaving it as he went for the weakened corner Hikaru had first built up.

He was losing liberties but Hikaru was not discouraged. He kept a watchful eye on play of the stones. In this game of shidougo, even though Ogata clearly had the advantage on the board - he wouldn't cut Hikaru down so quickly. Hikaru was counting on this. The flow of the game was what Hikaru was using, playing in a capturing race here and there to manipulate the shape of the board. This control, this ability to build - Hikaru thrived off of it.

Hikaru secured his remaining corner cluster, as well as the first chain and the cluster near the tengen point. Sai avidly watched as the endgame phase began and the board priorities were brought to clarity, Hikaru's initial framework coming to fruition. There were plenty of holes and places for improvement, of course - Sai had watched with a tolerant look at some of the most obvious mistakes that Hikaru made as the game progressed - but here Sai could see what had made Hikaru _brilliant_.

That initial meaningless stone had transformed into a sharp cut through Ogata's influence on that side of the board, minimizing white's sphere of influence and allowing the first step towards an invasion for Hikaru. Sai didn't bother to reign in his smile; Ogata had paused long enough to take in the play that Sai knew Ogata was trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

It didn't take long. Ogata advanced forward, killing off another cluster. Hikaru had made a brilliant move but Ogata wasn't a pro for nothing. Only after Ogata had killed off one of Hikaru's larger clusters did the boy admit defeat, eyes attached to the screen with utmost concentration.

As the site announced **wisteria** had surrendered, **seiji** immediately sent a message asking to discuss the game. Hikaru acquiesced without pause, which began a short slew of lengthy messages dissecting every move.

_Seiji always has been thorough_, Sai thought, watching in increased anxiety as Hikaru was run through every play that Ogata found fault with - so pretty much all of them. Hikaru's phone buzzed, tearing the boy's attention away as he finished reading the latest message. Before Sai could ask who it was, Hikaru had flipped it open with a harried "Seiji-san?"

Apparently some lessons could not be confined to text.

Sai absently listened as Hikaru explained and argued over his moves, cleaning up the dishes he'd left about and otherwise tidying up. Hikaru began to grow more exuberant and agitated with his gestures, pointing out moves on the screen to an invisible audience. Sai could tell when they'd gotten to the part about the tide-shifting move, as Hikaru actually looked away from the screen with a look that was almost embarrassingly pleased. Whatever Ogata said next promptly crushed that cute expression, however, and once again the boy was gesturing wildly.

When Hikaru had entered the third round of what seemed to be a fairly standard "Well maybe if you weren't so loose with your tengen cluster as you are with your taste in bed partners, you wouldn't have had your shape cut!" - Hikaru was getting disturbingly creative with his insults now - Sai cut the conversation short by swiping the boy's phone and calmly telling Ogata that it was about time they all got ready for bed.

Hikaru grabbed the phone back quickly enough, calling out a mock-sympathetic "Yeah, I suppose you need to sleep off that hangover!" before ending the call.

Sai shut off the laptop and set it to the side. Hikaru had already shoved the phone back into his pockets and was now looking at him expectantly.

"Did you want to discuss the game again with me?" Sai asked. He didn't think it was necessary - despite the gruff exterior, Ogata was a good teacher - thus he wasn't surprised when Hikaru shook his head in the negative.

"That was pretty fun. I learned a lot, too," Hikaru admitted. He supposed NetGo would be a fun way to pass the time while trapped in Sai's apartment. "Seiji-san could work on his post-game discussion manners, though."

"You both could," Sai muttered inaudibly.

They spent the next hour rearranging furniture and otherwise just moving things out of the way for the new additions they would gain tomorrow. Hikaru would be at school (hopefully), but Sai didn't have any matches or tournaments planned for tomorrow and would be free to receive them.

He would probably have Ogata over to help, just in case he needed the extra hands. Hopefully they'd be able to talk things over as well; they hadn't been able to since that first night, as Sai had been preoccupied with work or Hikaru. He hadn't wanted to talk in a public place over such sensitive information but he also preferred to keep Hikaru out of the loop. There was no need to make the boy more self-conscious around Ogata than he already was.

As Hikaru took a shower first, Sai pulled out his phone - one new message. Unsurprisingly, it was from Ogata.

_From: Ogata Seiji_

_He's not bad._

Sai stared at the message. Translated into everyday tongue, it just meant Hikaru wasn't a total waste of Go-playing air. He felt offended on his student's behalf, but then again - Ogata didn't know Hikaru's rate of progression.

_From: Fujiwara Sai_

_He only started learning three months ago. He couldn't even read the lines of the board back then. You're the third person he's ever played._

Sai didn't have to wait long. He hadn't moved more than a few steps towards his bedroom when his phone began to ring. He answered it with only a cursory look at the Caller ID, Ogata's name clear and bright on the small screen.

"Seiji."

_"Where the hell did you find this kid?"_

Sai smiled.

* * *

**A/N**: See, I told you guys it would get better! I don't know why none of you believed me! I'm excited about the Ogata-Sai confrontation next chapter, so I hope everyone else is too! XD

This chapter gave me a bit of a fight. Originally, it was supposed to be the shortest one in the story - but then it decided it wanted to be one of the longest. Sai and Hikaru were also supposed to eat at a fancy little Italian restaurant, but once that scene pretty much degenerated into food porn, I moved them to a family restaurant instead given that it fit Sai's personality better. I actually like the way this chapter turned out. :)

**Special Thanks**: _Elaur_, for correcting all of my terrible mistakes in the Go game depiction. Thank you so much - you're a saint! Also, _AiSard_, for helping with both characterization and story flow. You have all my love and adoration! :)

_Note 1_) **On Hikaru**:

-_Go_: I ask for some patience. Hikaru is being pulled to it with all the delicacy of a black hole, really - but it will still take some time. His Go and his interest in it will grow exponentially as the story progresses but it won't be with the same single-minded determination displayed in canon. Canon!Hikaru had the means and the good health to support his obsession - _this_ Hikaru doesn't. Thus his journey with Go is going to be far more bumpy, especially in the beginning.

-_Well-being_: Let me make this clear - in a sense, Hikaru _isn't very mentally stable_. He has a lot of issues; neglect and abuse do terrible things to a person's psyche. Only in fanfiction do characters develop the 'quiet victim' persona as a result of abuse - they become withdrawn and shy of human contact. _This is not true for most victims who survive childhood sexual abuse_. The person who acts up in class, the kid who says or asks for inappropriate things, who generally acts like a total brat - _that_ can be a result of such trauma. It's easy to sympathize with a victim if they act weak and withdrawn - but if victims were so easily identifiable there wouldn't be so damn many of us.

Hikaru, as I noted before, is abused and neglected on a daily basis. Someone suffering from that doesn't just automatically fix themselves when they're extracted from such an environment. Right now, Hikaru is transitioning: finding a new path with Sai but still has lingering ties to his life as Itsuka. It's a highly-stressful and volatile time for him, which makes him a virtual landmine - anything that reminds him of Itsuka while he's with Sai could set him off.

Trust is a key element to the development of a relationship between them, but as seen in this chapter - it can't be one-sided. Sai had asked Hikaru 'to be Hikaru' - but he wasn't able to be himself around the boy either. 'Walking on eggshells' can be just as detrimental to a developing relationship as obnoxious physical breaching.

_Note 2_) **Pairings**: There's a lot of concern over this one, huh~ XD

-OgataSai: I'm asking for a little faith, guys. I wasn't just going to crash them together to have sexy fun times, you know! Every relationship in this story will be developed _slowly_. This is a 20+ chapter story - and you won't get any concrete pairings until we're past the 20th chapter mark. Just because Ogata is gung-ho for a relationship doesn't mean Sai will be any time soon; he's obviously too busy with Hikaru that it hasn't even come to his attention.

-AkiHika: I'm still maintaining the 'elements-of', but that's only because I think for this pairing to become absolutely concrete - it would extend farther than the story. XD I'm fairly confident you'll see the beginnings/foundation of it - but I don't think it will actually reach the 'we're a couple' stage in any adequate way. Just as said before, however, Akira and Hikaru _will_ have a very strong relationship.

-SaiHika: _PLATONIC ONLY_. There are legitimate reasons for this: Hikaru needs to be shown that there's an adult figure he can rely on, and Sai is setting himself up as this figure. If Sai were to engage Hikaru in a romantic relationship, based off of how things in this story have progressed so far - it would be the _ultimate betrayal_. Never mind the fact that _Sai_ wouldn't be able to see Hikaru in that light because he's seen exactly how those relationships worked out for the boy before. There will be no healing cock in this story. NONE. NEVER. I have so many issues with that particular trope, you have no idea.

But you know, in the first story outline (I'm working off of the third one, in case anyone cares), this was intended to be a SaiHika romance. Mainly because the first draft story was _viciously dark_. Like, nothing was going to be positive in that one - it was supposed to be bleak as hell. I figured it would either break me or the readers first before I finished it, so I lightened it up through every revision - and now we have _this_ story.

_Note 3_) **Rankings**: As far as I know, only 'Vanilla' holds true to reality. I created the others based on it. You can rest easy now.

_Note 4_) **Omiai and Other Words**: 'Omiai' refers to a matchmaking session. Two people are set up by a matchmaker (either a family member or a professional) for the intention of getting married. If there are any other words that you guys need clarification on, feel free to ask me! I kind of just take it for granted that I know them...

_Note 5_) **OCs**: Thanks for your input on them. :) I like to hear about how the readers receive them, because to me, the OCs play a very specific role...

As always, thank you for dropping reviews! :) I love hearing from you guys and they're a great motivation for me. As for review replies, I usually answer by the time I put up the next chapter if you have any questions that won't be answered in the chapter itself.

_Questions, comments, concrit? Then please..._

___**Kindly drop a review.**_


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